My (26f) sister called her new dog a name i was hoping to call a future child.

[tinyhalo]

I’m devastated.

We’d spoke a good few years ago so i’m unsure if she even remembers. We are not pregnant but i’m hopeful in the near future we will be in a position to start.

I had a rough adolescence that has affected my life and is still affecting me now, in my 20s. Its like i’m 5+ years behind everyone else. I know there’s no set time or age to do anything but looking at my friends and siblings, I am behind in terms of life experience. My partner of almost three years is my first serious relationship.

And this name was a symbol of a life i could have, that one day i’d wake up in my house with my daughter and boyfriend and no matter what was going on, i’d have moved forward in my life. It was a bit of hope to cling too in my dark days and I feel like with the name gone, so has that future.

The name isn’t an overly human or animal one, I’d say it’s similar to the likes of ‘Tilly’, where you would hear it as a woman’s name but also a friend would have a cat called Tilly. If that makes sense.

I guess I’m hoping that someone will tell me, that in the future, it’ll be okay to call my daughter the same name as her dog.

@TalkingOutOfMyBottom

Harsh responses on here.

I'd still use it - just say you'd been talking about it for years. What's the worse that can happen, you call your daughter and the dog comes too!

Are they 'harsh responses', tho?

I assume you mean those that suggest the OPneeds to sort her head out before expecting her as yet unconcerned female child to provide mummy's 'healing' via her name?

It's great that the OP is seeking counselling. But the fact that she has recognised that 'there's a problem'- surely means we can recognise that her 'devastation' at the taking of that name is also a symptom of that problem, which hopefully counselling will get her past.

Use the name!

I wouldn't even think twice!

The dog will be curtains by the time your hypothetical DD is in her teens. No way should you not use a name you love for a doomed dog.

This happened to me with a close friend - she called her first child the name I Always wanted for my child if it was a girl. I was devastated at the time although not pregnant yet. I did get pregnant 2 years later and had a girl. I put the name off the table whilst pregnant as I couldn’t fathom having the same name as her child. When my DD was born I quite liked another name so called her that. I fell out with the friend a few years later and don’t see her at all. I realised later that actually I could have had that name. It really wouldn’t have mattered! But in any case, my daughters name is as it is and it suits her and I can’t imagine her as anything else!
What you probably can’t realise at the moment is that it’s all so..... small and meaningless when you actually have your own child. Names seem so huge before you have a baby. When baby is here there are 1000 things more important and all consuming!
If you like the name- please don’t let naming the dog upset you. Just go for it if you have the correct sex baby and you still like it. If not, and you choose another name, I promise you after the first few weeks, you won’t give it another thought!

I had a horse with the same name as my sister

It wasn’t your name to “take” though.

OP if you worry about a dog having the same name as your potential child, imagine what you will be like when you put your child in a new school and there are two other kids with the same name in their class.

If you like a name, you choose it, it doesn’t matter if your sister called her dog the same thing. You might never have a girl. However, if you are really upset about this, you should focus on why it has upset you so much.

Well if it's Millie I can tell you a lot of people have dogs called Millie. In fact a lot of people probably have dogs called whatever your name is. So maybe find a more human one? Unless you want major confusion in the park?

Use the name still - pets die

Several friends have named their dogs my daughters name after we had her. I wouldn't take it personally and still use that name if you want it. You may find you change your mind by the time you have a baby anyway.

My mother in law married a man that had a dog the same name as a daughter, so for a while there were two Beths (both the actual name), in the house at once, one a girl and one a dog, and it was completely fine!

Not really relevant I know, just highlighting that this isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things and you can still use the name xx

My partner and I had a name in mind for a girl that we both liked, and was significant to my DP's profession so meant a lot to him. Then... his best friend changes his gender and is now using that name ... so now we can't use it. I'm not too upset though, at least she chose a good name!

I think there are more labradors and spaniels with my name then there are people.

My sister is named after a car (it’s a normal name btw eg. Charlotte). I have another friend who is named after her parents’ boat.

You could probably argue a dog is better!!

I think counselling is a very good idea, you’re putting far too much pressure on yourself to reach this ‘goal’ life and that’s not healthy. I think this pressure is manifesting itself in your fixation on this particular name.
Besides anything else, there are a great many very beautiful names in the world and when you do get the point of having a baby, you may well prefer another anyway.

Fwiw, different circumstances of course but at one point in my life, my boyfriend, my horse and my dog all had the same name, by pure coincidence!

Of course you can still use the name! Nobody owns a name. You can choose whatever you like.

If you still really want to use the name I think you should but I would mention it in passing to your sister soon (in a very lighthearted way) along the lines of “it’s so funny that you chose my favourite girl’s name for your dog, wouldn’t it be hilarious if I ended up with a daughter x as well?!” and then just let it lie. Just so she knows in the back of her mind that you might end up using the name too in a number of years so it doesn’t become a weird thing if it does happen.

This happened to me with my sisters dog, Bonnie. I’ve always loved the name. I must admit, it is a dogs name

Mumsnet is a bit weird about things like this OP, I have posted similar before and got much the same treatment. 'Get over it' etc.

Your sister is in the wrong. She remembers.

Try and pick out a new, prettier name and don't tell anyone. I know how you feel

My sister named her daughter the same name as the cat we had growing up. She didn't even realise until I pointed it out. Of course you can still use the name if you like (and if you have a daughter).