Honest opinions needed...Baby’s name is the same as a friends child

[Willow4987]

So a friend who I’ve known for 10 years (who I went to uni with) but don’t get to see that regularly due to where we both live in the country mainly

We were super close at uni, and I still consider her a close friend. When we are able to see each other, we click better with each other than most other people.

So the dilemma...her son is almost 2 and for the sake of the thread let’s say his name is John (it’s not but fairly common/traditional so kind of similar to the actual name). I’ve not had a chance to meet him yet (I have seen her however) but I’m due DS2 soon and the only name I like is the same as her sons

I’ve only ever had 2 boys names I’ve really liked, the first one I used on DS1

If you were the friend would you be offended if I used the same name?

I would, but everyone here will tell you it’s a-ok 👌

Can you call it a similar name. Ie. For John, call him Jonathan, luke -Lucas.

My best friend from uni had a similar name to me. Let's say Julie / Julia. I married a guy called Mark, a few years later she married Marc. I had two kids by the time she got married. I called my son John. A couple of years later she went on to have a son, called John.
We don't see each other that often anymore but it does make me laugh!
*All names have been changed!

I wouldn't mind, especially as its fairly common and you don't see each other much.

Can you not run it past her first? And then just chose something else if she's says she's bothered

@Standrewsschool no unfortunately it’s a name that can’t be lengthened or shortened. It is what it is...

I think it's fine. I don't see why she would be offended. It's not a surprise you like the same names. If you get on so well. And it's not as if you see each other all the time. If you are worried why don't you mention it to her.

Out of my uni friends children we have 3 Isabel’s, 2 Amelia’s, 3 Oliver’s and 4 Thomas’s. Honestly it’s fine !
If it’s the popular normal type of names it’s not an issue

Our sons name is the same as one of my husbands cousins. Never thought anything of it, it was just the only boys name we liked

I think you should call her and just tell you like that name too and see her reaction.

*tell her.

Who knows, you guys might laugh about your similar taste and it may be fine! But if you nsme your child that name and dont talk about it first!, I think she may find it odd.

It's completely fine to use it. Don't tell her in advance. Do say something when you next talk to her along the lines of, "We obviously both have excellent taste in names!" that acknowledges it but doesn't apologise for it. The children are unlikely to even know each other well, after all, let alone be close enough for any confusion.

Yeah they are unlikely to know each other or be around each other so I wouldn't overthink it too much if you really love it. I would probably tell her though so that she can never say you didn't. Just doing the ethical friend due diligence. And then if she is totally fine about it there is never any guilt or second thought about this again! If she has a weird reaction about it, then of you think it's too weird you have time to think up other names or you can name your child that name anyway because at the end of the dsy it's still your decision!

No I'd be fine... it's your child and you're not immediate family. You can't own a common name.

If it’s a fairly common name I’d say it’s fine.

I honestly don't see the problem here. It would be weird to be offended. I could understand her being offended if you hated her sons name.

When I was pregnant with DC2 every one knew my boys name was always Harry. I was sure I was having a boy so called my bump Harry. Anyway out popped a gorgeous Girl.

A year later my friend got pregnant and called her son Harry.

12 weeks ago I had a baby boy and called him ........ yep you guessed it Harry!

Neither one of us had a problem.
No one owns a name. Just tell your friend it's a name you've always loved and it's the only name you can agree on.

What kind of number in the name charts are we talking @Willow4987
Give us a ballpark

Since you don't see her weekly or even monthly I think it's fine. It's not like the name is super original or something.

I'd be flattered, and gracious. I think it would be childish if she was anything else.

This happened to me and a university friend. We both had boys in 2014, chose different names, then she had a second boy a couple of years later and gave him the same name as my DS. Until I read this thread I had no thought about it having any impact on me or our friendship! No one owns a name, fgs.

@Whatsyourflava it’s in the top 5 so fairly common

It’s also quite traditional/classic

Before seeing this: it’s in the top 5 so fairly common

I was going to say "there are like 5 acceptable boys' names so I think you get a pass!"

I wouldn't sweat it

If it’s a top 5 name then I’m sure she’s not bothered.

If it’s top 5 then it’s completely fine. No problem at all.

I would be bothered. Just go for it.