Honest opinions needed...Baby’s name is the same as a friends child

[Willow4987]

So a friend who I’ve known for 10 years (who I went to uni with) but don’t get to see that regularly due to where we both live in the country mainly

We were super close at uni, and I still consider her a close friend. When we are able to see each other, we click better with each other than most other people.

So the dilemma...her son is almost 2 and for the sake of the thread let’s say his name is John (it’s not but fairly common/traditional so kind of similar to the actual name). I’ve not had a chance to meet him yet (I have seen her however) but I’m due DS2 soon and the only name I like is the same as her sons

I’ve only ever had 2 boys names I’ve really liked, the first one I used on DS1

If you were the friend would you be offended if I used the same name?

Top 5 name just isn’t a problem
Go for it

My son’s name is more uncommon (in the 70s on the name chart) and I love it if someone I know uses it! (Most recently one of the children in his classes little brother). If you haven’t met her 2 year old them very unlikely it will cause any confusion.

If the name is in the top 5 I don't think it's a problem at all

Thanks everyone! Think I’ll go for it and then just acknowledge the same name when he’s born.

Nope, I wouldn’t. If I had a Dd I always wanted to name her after a DF with a named which was very common when we were growing up. The name became more common and another DF chose it for her DD. We gave that name to our DD as her middle name instead.

I wouldn't personally do it, however it's entirely your choice. Nobody owns a name.

For me, the name has already been taken because it is already in use in your circle. I would pick a different name.

I would mention it to her beforehand personally but it's up to you!! Its not like it's a super close circle though - just an old friend you dont see often so I wouldn't necessarily give up on it but I would maybe tell her ahead of time just so she has no reason to be surprised!

Of all the names in all the world, MUST you choose the same one that a close friend has done?

Nobody owns a name. But it displays such a lack of imagination and 'copycat' doesn't it? I'd think you were strange if you did it to me. But meh, crack on as you clearly want to but don't be surprised if your mate thinks you're a bit odd

Your friend will probably mind but if it's a top 5 name it was probably going to happen sooner or later.

If it's common/top 100 it's not too bad (although I wouldn't do it) less common I really wouldn't!

@KipperBang it’s not copycat at all! I’ve only ever had 2 boys names I’ve liked and this was years before she even had her DS. It’s just that in the intervening years I haven’t found one I like more

Well, you're copying your mate, to all intents and purposes aren't you? That'll how it'll look like to her. And you like only two names in the entire history of boys names? Right.

You crack on like I said. But it's unimaginative and looks slightly strange and err copy catting

@KipperBang actually yes, I’ve really struggled with boys names and there are only 2 I like. One of which I’ve already used

Our friends named their son the same as our 3 year old. They phoned us up and nervously asked if it was okay. I had absolutely no problem with it and was surprised that they had been worried about asking us (or that they felt the need to ask permission!). I'm sure it will be fine x

My great friend from university and his wife were expecting their second son 2 months after I had my second son. (Both of our first sons had a short name beginning with the same letter eg Tim and Tom.) When my son was born and we texted everybody with the news that we had named him X they sent congratulations and said it was the name they had been thinking of. I immediately replied that they obviously had great taste in names and should go for it. 13 years later they remain very dear friends, all 4 of our similarly named boys get on brilliantly and the two Xs enjoy being referred to as X P and X S. I really don't understand people who take offence when someone else endorses your name choice by using it!

I am assuming it’s something like James. If it makes it any easier say it’s a family name on your Dhs side. She can’t take issue with that.

My mums best friend and her have the same name for their son. It's big "John" and little "John" even tho little John is bloody huge now. It's a compliment imo, you never name your kid after someone you dislike

Your opening sentence .... 'honest opinions needed...'

Great decision@Willow4987

I wouldn’t do it personally but if it’s a top 5 name it’s not like a super unique name, there will be plenty of other children with that name.

ask her.
really just contact her and say - the only 2 names I have ever liked are x and y and we've used x.

I wouldn't mind. I also think that for someone you don't see very often, the kids would find it fun/funny.

It isn't a rare unusual name, I don't think you can copy that.

Wouldn’t bother me. This has happened to me, and I felt honoured.

I have two cousins named Margaret. They are a few months apart, one is mum’s brother’s dd and other is mum’s sister’s dd. As far as I know no one ever remarked on it. Neither has a middle name.

I wouldn’t.

I’m generally on the “no one owns a name” team and I wouldn’t have a problem with using a colleague’s child’s name or a neighbour’s child’s name but I wouldn’t use the name a close friend used.