MIL saying baby's name differently to us

[Singingatmidnight]

So my MIL originally seemed to love the name we chose for the baby, but now she's eight months old and she's decided to pronounce it differently to us.

It's a relatively subtle change - think Helena (Hell-ay-na or Helen-a) or Róisín (RO-sheen or ro-SHEEN). To me, both ways are right, just different. But she is insisting her way is right.

For now, I've just smiled and said that's not how we say it, and when she insists I just say nothing. But is this a bit weird?

It is a bit weird. To be honest I'd ignore her.

Your DH/DP needs to have a word with her. Because your baby is already old enough to be listening and know her name, and soon will be old enough to start saying it. MIL doesn't get to decide her own way of saying your child's name. You do.

I know of a child called Summer Peaches.
All her family call her Peaches but her Nan calls her Summer.
Just ignore her

My exMIL decided she didn’t like DD’s name so called her something totally different ( think Jennifer - Susan) ! Caused confusion but we ignored her and most people realised she was daft .

It's weirder not to tell her straight to use your babies given name, as given by you, the parents & if she still insists on ignoring, start mispronouncing MILs name or keep her away from your DD until she learns it's not her baby & not her call

Leave her alone, what harm is it?! It's just regional differences. Absolutely zero harm done.

I thought this was going to be a case of her saying it differently and it annoying you, from the title, but I am mistaken! That is weird, and she’s being a bit of a dick. You’re handling it brilliantly well and besides completely ignoring her from here on in, I don’t know what else to suggest. Bizarre behaviour from her.

@WardrobeJumper did you read the OP?

It is a bit weird. It's not weird if it's just an accent or just habit from having pronounced it in a particular way before but this isn't what she's doing.

It’s a bit of a pain, but some people just can’t get their heads round different pronunciation. I have a cousin called Aaron. We all say it like A-ron. Despite being told a million times, my mum still calls him Air-ron.

Tell her and be firm. Silly woman.

My Nan used to call me Fennella Fudge Bucket
But I loved that name and I’d def correct your MIL

We had this and I was even told by DM that she had spoken to everyone she worked with and they all agreed with her. I’m guessing a generation or two ago the name we used was popular with the other pronunciation but it wasn’t the way we choose or the way we knew anyone used (think top five name for several years, so plenty of others with the same name to compare to). Child is now old enough to loudly correct anyone and it’s amazing how quickly the same people were able to change the way they pronounced her name as soon as they were told off in public.

I think it’s your MIL saying that either she thinks you are saying it wrong or that she prefers her version so is trying to be controlling by using it.

I'm let it go.

Your DD isn't likely to be spending so much time with her DGran that she gets confused about her name. When she's a bit older, she'll sort out Granny's little foible all be herself (and way more effectively than you ever could)

Also, with a name which can be said two ways, at some point your DD will need to learn to recognise the other way (as she has a lifetime of first encounters with people reading it their preferred way, which might not be yours) and how to point out her preference nicely

You're being precious

If you didn't want your child's name to be said slightly differently then you should have chosen a name where there was no argument as to how it was pronounced

(And if I had a grand daughter with a stupid name like summer peaches I'd be calling her summer too)

@WardrobeJumper How would you like it if someone continually pronounced your name the wrong way

OP stick to your guns, my love. Tell MIL "This is little one's name. Either pronounce it OUR way or don't bother pronouncing it at all"

Next time just ask her who she is referring to as that's not dd's name...

I have a nephew named Jacob (not his real name but similar). Everyone including his mum pronounces it kinda like Jacub but my mum pronounces it JaCOB with the ‘cob’ part very pronounced. It drives me mad but I think everyone is just used to it now. I pointed it out to my new phew recently (who is now 12/13) and he hadn’t noticed but it drove him crazy too when he realised. She’s not stopped though and we’ve given up trying.

Oh look, nan-NEE's come to visit

What is her name? Can you not Mis-pronounce it?? If I could then I would! She will soon get the idea that she is pissing you off!!

My English ExFiL does this with my DD's name. It has a French origin, but it's a perfectly normal name used in England. Something, say, like 'Josephine'.

He goes full on with the French accent whenever he says it, like he's bloody Napoleon. As far as I'm aware, he's never even been to France. None of us are French.

My father calls my nephew the wrong name (easy, two syllable name) no matter how many times we correct him. My nephew is 8yrs old. 😐 Then along came my DD with the longest most whimsical name that has never been used in the family before and hes never gotten it wrong. I swear they do it on purpose lol

So you’ve discussed it with her (she’s insisting her way is right)? And yet she still continues to pronounce your DC’s name incorrectly.

I’d get DH to be blunt with her - “Mum will you please stop mispronouncing DD’s name. Her name is not Helen-a, it’s Hel- AY- na (or whatever). I don’t care how other people pronounce it, this is her name and it’s Hel-AY-na”.

I can’t believe the cheek of her! Tell her then correct her every time she says it wrong. If she does it more than 3 times in a row after being corrected each time, walk out.

Your MIL is crossing a line. If it were me in your shoes, I would give her a hard stare, and ask why she insists on pronouncing my child's name incorrectly-when she says 'oh, but it's the right way to say it' I tell her 'but it's not the right way to say my child's name'

Make this the rock you are prepared to die on, OP. It's the little grain of sand that will start an avalanche of line crossing from her over the years!