MIL saying baby's name differently to us

[Singingatmidnight]

So my MIL originally seemed to love the name we chose for the baby, but now she's eight months old and she's decided to pronounce it differently to us.

It's a relatively subtle change - think Helena (Hell-ay-na or Helen-a) or Róisín (RO-sheen or ro-SHEEN). To me, both ways are right, just different. But she is insisting her way is right.

For now, I've just smiled and said that's not how we say it, and when she insists I just say nothing. But is this a bit weird?

Just start saying DMIL's name another way.

Is an accent thing? DD has a name which ends in A, like Hannah, Anna. My inlaws don't say A, they say ER. Since she was born, they have called DD something like Hanner. That's not her name, drives me nuts but they don't get it.

Can't believe some people are saying let it go! It is rude to mispronounce someone's name - bad enough with an acquaintance but this is her grandchild! My GM did this with my cousin because she didn't like the "foreign" pronunciation of her name, and my cousin found it very upsetting, as would I.
Get your DH to fix it now, before your DD is old enough to take it in.

When your DD is older she'll correct her and if MIL keeps it up DD will get angry/upset with her - she'll soon stop then.

Thanks all - I had a chuckle at the similar stories. I like the idea that DD will be able to correct her when she's older.

I think she'll probably give up eventually, as the pronunciation she's chosen is much much less known, so I think after a few other people questioning it she might give in. DH, to be fair to him, has also told her to stop being weird, as has SIL.

She's a nice sort really, so it's not some terrible sign of things to come, just a bit of a strange affectation.

My DM does this and it really annoys me. I am overly sensitive about it but despite talking to her she still does it.

FIL still calls me by the wrong name 8 times out of 10. I've been with DH 20 years.

Is it Clara? Because if so I can see her point and why all her mates agree with her!

It was pronounced Claire-ah but the modern interpretation is Clah-rah.

What’s the name?

Nice sorts don't undermine you. She is implying YOUR choice wasn't good enough imo.

*Is it Clara? Because if so I can see her point and why all her mates agree with her!

It was pronounced Claire-ah but the modern interpretation is Clah-rah.*

This really depends on where you're from though...

Address it directly calmly and publicly. If it continues mispronounce her name EVERY time you speak to her.

The easiest way to extinguish this is to persist in your own pronunciation and use her name all the time in front of your MIL she will be outnumbered and as soon as your child can speak she will know well how her name is pronounced

No, it's not Clara.

It's only indirectly an accent thing, in that she's kind of saying it in an accent that none of us (including her) actually have. Kind of like the Josephine example.

I think we'll just leave her in a minority of one!

Like pronouncing Leah - Laya?

This sounds very frustrating because she's doing it on purpose.
My MIL keeps calling my daughter the wrong name entirely, she only gets the first two letters right (akin to her being called Madeleine, MIL calling her Matilda)... but I'm pretty sure she's doing it accidentally, unlike your MIL who is being awkward for the sake of it. Though after four months I was hoping she'd have got her head round the correct name by now!

Esme?

MILs be crazy. I think it's probably a mixture of mild controllingness with general eccentricity that seems to abound among the over-60s.

At Christmas we realised my mum pronounced Indiana Jones as Indie-arna, which I'm SURE is new. She's also decided to pronounce HFW's name as Hugh Feernley-Whittingstall. She's obviously heard both those names pronounced correctly about a million times, and I'm sure she used to pronounce them that way herself, so god knows where this comes from.

also she says 'steeroids' which drives me insane.

I feel your pain.
Mother in law says Alfie as Oll-fie.
Most annoying.

*sorry - meant to add, this might feel very personal because it's your child's name, but MIL might equally just have some whackadoodle pronunciation fads.

My "D" M does this with both our DCs' names. In fact she does this with all 4 of her grandchildren, despite constant correction. It's because she knows the only "correct" way to pronounce things, don't you know.

In her case, it's just one of the symptoms of her nasty, covertly controlling personality. It's also one of the reasons we barely ever see her.

I'm not saying this is necessarily the same, but keep your eyes open!

This isn't an accent thing. I am Northern so I will say garidge, but I know Southerners will say garage. But a name is how someone pronounces it. How their parents pronounce it.

I worked with a woman called Sophia. But you didn't pronounce it So Fee A you pronounced it Sewf E a. Both she and her name were not English. No one had an issue with pronouncing it this way. It doesn't matter that the vast majoirty of us would pronounce it the first way. That isn't her name.

It is rude and disrespectful to deliberately get a name wrong. And petty. I would definitely be saying something and then mispronouncing her name.

My DH has a name that can be spelt two ways, his is the less common spelling but it’s still pretty normal. My family still spell his name the other way even though they know it isn’t spelt like that. I have literally sent texts with his name spelt correctly and receive he’s a response from them with it misspelt. So annoying! You either learn to live with it or correct her every time till she stops.

I mean, if it's just a really subtle difference such as what syllable is accentuated, I wouldn't care and might not even notice.

If it was something really different like "charles" instead of "carl" I'd say she was pushing it, but if it's a matter of saying RO-sheen instead of Ro-SHEEN, that's inconsequential.