MIL saying baby's name differently to us

[Singingatmidnight]

So my MIL originally seemed to love the name we chose for the baby, but now she's eight months old and she's decided to pronounce it differently to us.

It's a relatively subtle change - think Helena (Hell-ay-na or Helen-a) or Róisín (RO-sheen or ro-SHEEN). To me, both ways are right, just different. But she is insisting her way is right.

For now, I've just smiled and said that's not how we say it, and when she insists I just say nothing. But is this a bit weird?

He goes full on with the French accent whenever he says it, like he's bloody Napoleon. As far as I'm aware, he's never even been to France. None of us are French.

Nothing to add, but that made me laugh!

It's not inconsequential to pronounce sometimes name wrongly. It's their name. Their identity. To have their GRANDMOTHER disrespect it in this way is pretty bad.

I would definitely keep correcting her. Hopefully it won't be necessary to be rude to her, but I think it's worth pointing out that if you love someone you at least take the trouble to say their name correctly.

My sister and brother in law do this.
Bil likes to pretend he's quite clever and when I announced daughters name I knew my family would find a way to mock whatever the name is.
He came up trumps by insisting he had asked Alexa how to pronounce it so the way he says it is right and I'm stupid for saying it how I say it... they say it that way every time but if you look up the name as an actual name and do proper research it's said a different way. It even gives the correct pronunciation when you search the name sites.
I always feel like Hermione Granger if I correct them, "it's Levi-OHH-sa not Levi-oh- SARRR"
I don't bother now. DM copied them for a bit but now she has spent lots time around us saying it she slips into saying it how we do.
She always forgets my DNs name though and fudges the ending. She does try but I think she just confuses names easily.

"It doesn't matter if you prefer (their pronunciation), that is not his/her name. Her name is (our pronunciation)"

I'm 34 and my great aunt still won't call me by my actual name.. Luckily my mother never took offense and just laughed about it

Very strange behaviour

'Oh sorry MIL I know you haven't seen us for a while but we're going to keep the visits minimal for a bit as we don't want X getting confused over the way her name is said now that she's learning how to recognise it. We'll see you soon, but just for a flying visit if you don't mind. Unless of course you can remember to pronounce her name the way we've named her. No, I don't mean the right way - there's no right way with names really is there? There's just the way we've decided, because we're the ones who named her! Have a think, let us know, we'd love to see you soon.'

My sister renamed ME when she had a baby she insists he couldn’t pronounce my name and I must be known as Aunty XXXX. Ten years later she still refers to me as her made up version of my name, and he calls me my given name. Baffling.

Caitlin?

Yeah my grandad called me Lucy till I was five. It's not my name. Wore off eventually!

@Omashu omg that would drive me potty. I'd have to tell her she sounds silly!

My Dd's grandmother is from a different country and doesn't speak much English.
She pronounces dd's name as it would be in her language (in fact I suppose both dc's names, but only for one dc it is different.)
Dc has never been bothered (in fact it is a useful cue to remind her that she has to speak the other language), and to her they are both equally her name - if she introduces herself to other speakers of that language, she will use granny's pronunciation.

If she's managed to say it right for 8 months, it's clearly not an accent/regional issue. It's deliberate and therefore should be stamped on.

One half of my family have been pronouncing my name wrongly my entire life. It hasn't confused me. I'm fine.

My Brother and half of my family prononce my name wrongly, i am in my 50s and it hasnt traumatised me. OP you will find many people will no doubt pronounce it the wrong way, chill.

My Brother and half of my family prononce my name wrongly

One half of my family have been pronouncing my name wrongly my entire life

Did they start doing it having pronounced it correctly before and insist that their way is right?

My friend is called Natalie and at an event recently this woman kept referring to her as Nut-AHH-lee rather that NAT-a-lee. It was the weirdest thing, we were all staring at each other like WTF??! It was really annoying, I’m glad I never have to meet up with that woman again. I can’t imagine how annoying it must be with your child’s grandmother who you have to see all the time. I think you should mispronounce her name repeatedly and see how she likes it!

If she's managed to say it right for 8 months, it's clearly not an accent/regional issue. It's deliberate and therefore should be stamped on

Exactly @bridgetreilly She’s doing it on purpose as some kind of power play. I don’t understand why some PPs are underplaying it. This woman has made a conscious decision to ignore the parents of the child and try to exert her authority.

I don't think that this is
Worth worrying about; let her.

What is it about MILs and names? My MIL clearly dislikes DD's name. When we first announced it she commented "oh that's a bit posh" (it's really not).

Since then she's been determined to shorten it. So think along the lines of Elizabeth (it's not but the same principle). She wants to use "Liz" and we have been using "Beth" because when DD was a baby DS struggled and called her that and it's stuck. In fact we've deliberately avoided "Liz" because another child DD spends a lot of time with has that as her name.

Now whenever we see MIL (thankfully not that often) she makes comments along the lines of "oh you still call her Elizabeth? You don't use Liz?"
Or to DD "would you like to be called Liz?" Which just confuses her because of her friend with that name.

Does my head in.

Ignore her or else correct her. Every Single Time.

I had this with my sibling who lives in another country where they frequently use both the first and middle name. Instead of saying my child’s name (I won’t use the actual name) - E.g. Matthew, she insisted on saying Matthew John (in the accent of the country she lives in). The ONLY reason she did it was for her own amusement. It really annoyed me but I never admitted that.

My 'd'm said called my second dd Candy because she said she couldn't pronounce the easy 3 syllable name we gave her and refused to believe it's a real name despite it being in the bible.
No problem though. She has been so vile about this pregnancy that we've gone n/c.

We used to live near Beaconsfield. It’s pronounced Beckonsfield. MIL insisted that it was BEEEEEconsfield. I was wrong even though I’d grown up near there and lived in the area all my life, and she was from nowhere near. She then decided that BEEEEEconsfield was “the local pronunciation”.

Given how irritating I found this, I can only imagine how annoying it is to have your child’s name continually prounced wrongly!

@CorianderLord I’ve tried to correct her so many times, it drives me bloody mental! She can’t tell what she’s doing wrong 🙈