Do you think ‘unusual’ names put a child at a disadvantage?

[Nojeansplease]

My name and my partners name are both difficult and we have to spell them constantly
I’m conscious about giving that to a child.

I’ve also read about studies showing people with foreign names are more likely to be rejected for jobs etc.

And there’s snobbishness if you choose a name that is considered ‘chavvy’ by some.

Did you pick an unusual name / do you have an unusual name - is that something you think of?

If you didn’t pick an unusual name were these things a factor?

I just can’t imagine myself with an Oliver/ Olivia or whatever the most popular names are now! (Though I appreciate they are lovely names too!)

I sometimes wonder how the Molly-Mae's of the world will feel about their names when they're trying to make partner in a law firm or whatever. Perhaps there will be so many other women around with equally silly names that it won't matter.

Yeah, I have an unusual first name and an “ethnic minority” Unpronounceable surname

It is an advantage if anything

In a work situation people are almost always asking “sorry how do you spell your name?” And apologetic, this then gives me a chance to be good-humoured about it and usually it’s an ice breaker

Not a disadvantage imo

You can get any name printed on just about anything nowadays! Lots of companies that offer this. Otherwise there's always sticker with your name

I'd much rather have an interesting and memorable name than a top 10 fashionable name that's printed on cheap tat!

Don't be surprised, Poppy, these things are important to children. In fact, identity is and always has been very important to children and adolescents. It imparts a sense of belonging - and not being able to ever find your name in the gift shop on the school trip is quite isolating when the Emmas and Louises and Charlottes and Carolines all have theirs.

Or if you have a sibling who appears on the popular list and you don't, and the relatives bring stuff but they end up getting things like "cool kid's mug" and "George's mug". "George’s mug" has a lot more cachet, because it's personal.

I have an unusual name, I've rarely ever seen a token gift item with my name. My initial isn't very common either, so there would usually be half a rack of key rings with Cs and Ds and a gap where the two items bearing my initial used to hang. Once I went back to my home country and I discovered a new brand of honey with my first name on it (as in "Lisa's Lavendar Honey"), and I bought a jar just because I was delighted to see my own name!! I was 34!

I gave my children names that were not super common but easily pronounced and spelled, although non-English speakers can struggle with DD's name - didn't think that one all the way through!

I have a unusual name. It's actually 2 common names put together but no hyphen. I only know one of other out there. My kids have easy to spell names. I don't think they are in top 100 recently but they have been before so everyone knows them but not too many young one's.

“I'd much rather have an interesting and memorable name than a top 10 fashionable name that's printed on cheap tat!“

Well when I was 8... I cared about the cheap tat tbh...

But don’t assume unusual is memorable. Every time I meet anyone they ask about my name, because I think I’ve met one person ever who recognised it, so it goes... ooh that’s unusual, where’s it from? Greek myth, nope, no Greek relatives, my mum just liked it etc. And then next time I meet them, I get that um? Noise, I remind them and they say ah, yes, I knew it was something unusual, but couldn’t remember what. By the 4th time they meet me, they’re calling me a completely different name that’s a bit more common, it does have the same starting sound, but it’s a completely different name.

I basically answer to 3 names, mine, one that’s a few letters different and one that’s only got a sound in common...

People also change my name in Facebook messages and emails, even though they can see it right there...

So, yeah, unusual is not the same as memorable - you just get remembered as her with the weird name.

Neither my name nor my children's' names are popular. They're well known classic names but they're just not fashionable or popular. We have never minded that our names aren't printed on cheap tourist tat . In fact I'm always a little relieved because it implies that my name isn't terribly popular/overused.

@TheHumansAreDefinitelyDead it’s nice people are nice about it! I often find people are rude, or even annoyed at me for having a ‘difficult’ name.

But I do love that I’m the only person I know and anyone I meet knows with my name - surely that’s the point of a name, to identify you?!

I think there’s different levels of ‘unusual’ too
I find lots of people say their name is unusual - because it’s Claire with an i and sometimes they have to spell it

Then others will say theirs is unusual because it’s something like Sandra or gordon and not really of their generation

Then you’ve got your new modern names, that are very popular but people see as ‘unusual’ in that they weren’t so common a few years ago - Hudsons, jackson etc

Or your changed spelling names (added ‘I’s etc)

‘Unusual’ known names - the ones that are known well but not in the top 100

Then you’ve got your actually unusual - not registered on the lists because only one or two babies in a year were named it

And then names that are foreign and just not common in the country you live in.

I do hate when people comment on ‘made up’ names though
Whilst I may not choose to do it myself, and don’t have one myself (though lots of people think I do if they’ve not heard it before)
At least it does ID the kid!
And they were all made up at some point surely?!

But as pp said, sometimes it’s a lot to live up to and you can’t get around the fact that many people will judge

I like unusual names as in rarely used names.
I don't like unusual names where unusual is a euphemism for youneek.

@MikeUniformMike - no, not Lili, but a similar ordinary name with a different spelling. Not unlike my own, in fact.

I have a name that no-one can spell. It’s the short version of a longer name, that is on my birth certificate but not my passport, bizarrely. It is a Slav name and can be spelled several ways. Never on any merchandise!

Don't be surprised, Poppy, these things are important to children. In fact, identity is and always has been very important to children and adolescents. It imparts a sense of belonging - and not being able to ever find your name in the gift shop on the school trip is quite isolating when the Emmas and Louises and Charlottes and Carolines all have theirs.

Is this some kind of a joke?

I’ve never met anyone who orients their identity in terms of gift shop tat.

There are people who want to fit in and be just like everyone else, and then there are people who want to stand out and be nothing like other people.

The former would favour names you find in gift shops - Ella, Ava, Grace, Lily. The latter would go Hepzibah, Persephone, Capucine.

My name is unusual (becoming less so, but was VERY unusual when I was younger) but it's easy to spell because it's a real word. Certainly hasn't put me at a disadvantage in any way, but I may benefit from the fact that it's probably seen as more of a 'middle class' unusual name if that makes sense 🤷‍♀️ I have however always hated meeting new people, because it's very rare that someone doesn't make a comment when I first say my name. Usually positive like "oh what a beautiful name?" (but when you've heard that for the 5 millionth time it gets a bit tiresome), and I get asked quite a lot for the 'story' behind why it was chosen (also very boring to tell over and over). It's always made me wish I could just say, "hi, I'm Sarah" and people would just walk on by 😆

I have an unusual name. Hate it. Hated having to say my name as a child as everyone would invariably reply "what?" Hate it as an adult and have deliberately no online presence as it makes me very searchable and I'm a private person. I would much rather be one of four Sarah's.

I have a very foreign name. I think sometimes when I lived in the UK it caused problems. I don't know if it caused me to lose out on job ops but I've always worked in fields where being foreign should have been a benefit not a curse. My son has an unusual foreign name. He's only 7 months so hard to know if I've caused him irreparable damage but I think he'll be OK.

No, I always think they might have a memorable personality and a memorable name but if they are dull as ditchwater at least people will remember their name.

I would draw a distinction between ‘unusual’ and ‘made up’.

‘Unusual’ is fine. Not everyone wants to call their children Jack or Emily and not every child would want to have the same name as dozens of others at their school.

‘Made-up’ names are different. Whether we like it or not, Britain is still a very class-conscious society and people will inevitably make judgments about the background of someone with an obviously made-up name.

@LittleCandle, I'm curious. Lili is pretty but it looks a bit c**v if you're not Welsh. I hope it's not Moli.

I doubt that anyone would think that Molly-Mae would be an unsuitable name for a solicitor in 20 yrs time.

I am looking at the register for my after school club and literally no clue which of the twelve Ellas, Ellies and Elles are which, however they are spelt. I wish they all had names like Elena, Elysium and Elspeth.

made up names are judged, plus names like Kai, Jayden, Braden ,Jaxon, etc, you know exactly what they and their families will be like.

Just seen a Chelcee.

Found some wrapping paper once in Habitat and bought 10 rolls!! The only time in 40 +years my name has appeared on anything in a shop!!
My dc have stuff online with names on or would be doing without!!

It’s awful but I will admit I’m a bit ‘name-ist’ I’m a teacher and when I see names spelt in a certain way or certain I do make assumptions. Sometimes I’m wrong but after 12 years in the the profession not very often. I love it when I’m proven wrong with kids but unfortunately some names for me certainly lead to a certain type of personality.

It’s going to bite me in the ass I know as I’m currently expecting my first and can’t find a name we like but I’ll be honest it’s like that we go for a ‘boring traditional’ name.

Personally I do think you have to think of the longevity of a name not just as a baby. Can you imagine your son/daughter waking into an important Bussiness was meeting or being the ceo of a company or such like introducing themselves as their name as an adult. Of course it might not bother you any of these things!!