Do you think ‘unusual’ names put a child at a disadvantage?

[Nojeansplease]

My name and my partners name are both difficult and we have to spell them constantly
I’m conscious about giving that to a child.

I’ve also read about studies showing people with foreign names are more likely to be rejected for jobs etc.

And there’s snobbishness if you choose a name that is considered ‘chavvy’ by some.

Did you pick an unusual name / do you have an unusual name - is that something you think of?

If you didn’t pick an unusual name were these things a factor?

I just can’t imagine myself with an Oliver/ Olivia or whatever the most popular names are now! (Though I appreciate they are lovely names too!)

I have a very popular\common name. There were quite of us in my year group. I never once resented it. But I feel very sorry for children who are given a name that they have to spell out every single time they say it.

In my experience so many 'common' names have to be spelled out - Finley/Finlay, Clare/Claire, Maya/Maja, Catherine/Kathryn, Anabelle/Annabel, Tracy,/Tracey etc.

And many 'unusual' names are very easy to spell eg Antonia, Orlando or Magnus. For example!

And the unusual names are more interesting, more memorable and less likely to date. They also do a better job at identifying someone - the key reason we name someone

DN has a made up name. When she born the rest of the family were rather surprised by the name. It's grown on us now. But I hope for her sake she grows up fiesty and confident as she's going to need to carry her name off.

My DD has a popular name with an uncommon spelling. We weren't trying to be unique, it's an old family name which to the family would not make sense if the anglised version was used. People spell her name wrong or struggle pronounce it when reading it... But they soon catch on.

I love unusual names myself and my name is foreign.
BUT my name on my BC is traditional but my family have always called me by my unusual name and my preferred name in schools, doctors etc growing up was always the unusual name which I love.
I'm actually glad that it was done that way as social media etc is in my preferred name that I go by day to day, but gives me the option to use my official name if I chose for work and allows a good separation of work/home (I also dont add colleagues etc on sm like facebook)

The thing is, it isn't a choice between top 10 mainstream or highly unusual.

My parents chose names for us which were standard familiar names, but which were nit currently popular. It was great, everyone recognised our names, but there were never any others in the class.

About 5 years after me my name became very popular, but that didn't effect my experience.

I have followed suit. Uncommon names but ones which people immediately recognise, for that reason, they tend to be classic, and while you can never buy off the peg personalized stuff, my kids have had personalized stuff that we ordered on-line, so really haven't missed out.

I have an unusual name - the type of name you'll definitely have heard of, but will probably only know one / none. I've met two others in my life (one at uni, one in my 30s). Plus I can think of a couple of celebrities / fictional characters.

I like my name, but having said that I've named my DC much more common names than mine -not sure what that says really!

All mine have unusual names but are all “proper” names if that makes sense. I think it’s an advantage as people remember them. I’ve also been out and mentioned one of them and someone has said “oh I know xxx he is friends with my boys friend they played football in the park” I say to them they can’t get away with bad behaviour on the green as their names get them remembered and people know I’m your mum on the villiage 😂

I have had to spell my name all my life (its not that unusual but not very common either) and then promptly saddled DD2 with an unusual spelling of her first name, because I like the name and the unusual spelling (its the Welsh spelling) appealed to me. I never had tat with my name on it and neither has she. She is planning ordinary names for her DC when the time comes.

However, I do think the stupid spellings of names harm a child, as do parents who think things like 'Chrystal Glass' or 'Heather Bell' are funny. Or the ones who give names and the initials spell something.

Tbh you can get on eBay and Etsy and get everything cheaply personalised now, so the named tat is not such a big deal.

Also it depends on where you are. We lived in London. Named our kids slightly ‘out there names’. Totally acceptable to north London where many kids are called lettice, achilles etc. However both our kids names are very ‘classic’ and well known in many European countries (top ten in Spain), both saints names, both acceptable to the corner office/high court bench should that be necessary .

Now we live in NI where most kids are called Olivia and jack. They all have to go by the ‘Olivia B, Olivia J, Jack A, Jack, B’ etc. But some people really want that, conforming is seen as a really positive thing.

Also, our American in-laws are HORRIFIED at our names, whereas they have named their kids things that are mainstream there and would frankly rightly or wrongly be considered very council estate here. Which is annoying as they keep vaguely commenting on how ‘bizarre’ our kids names are whereas if we ever said ‘little Jaycee-may might face some prejudice in the U.K.’ they would be sooooooooo offended.

Oh, and the only two people I’ve met who changed their names as adults were both called Lisa and they changed them specifically because there were so many of them and they hated that.

Names are weird, people are weird.

By the time you are old enough to remember who had what name, the character of the person shines through ... so I can remember a not very nice Catherine (with a C) and so am put off by that very traditional name!

Personally, I dislike naming after soap opera characters or made up names, or names after a trade. I really like, for example, if you have Irish, Turkish, Spanish and so on heritage a link to that heritage or special link in the name rather than just plucking it with no connection ... but that's just me.

If you do choose a variation on the spelling, you will forever be reminding people of the correct spelling and emails and things with big organisations (banks, gov etc) will always need double checking, but that would be the same as with an out and out different from traditional name.

Most organisations shortlisting remove names and age to try and remove inbuilt prejudice to difference from themselves.

I also have a name that was never on items as a child and I also resented the lack of tat, not the name! My DD loves tat with her name on, we have a growing collection of Christmas decorations with it on too. My name is more popular now so it does come up.

I am not a fan of the current trend for old names as I associate them with elderly relatives. I can see that they seem fresh to someone younger though.

I have a "boring" name (think Claire/Jane/Sarah) although it wasn't very popular when i was at school, there was maybe another 1 or 2 in the school. As a child i sometimes wished i had a more fun/unusual name but now as an adult am very grateful for my normal name. This might sound snobby but when naming my DC i tried to think of a profession, can you imagine a Dr Chantel or Professor Tyler . . . Not that i feel my DC have to be Dr's but i want to give them the best chance in life if they wish to.

@adviceneededon - I like names like Barbara and Sheila, and can see them becoming more popular. Currently girl's names seem to be very vowel heavy with a V or L, or M, being the predominant consonant. Ellie, Ava, Evie, Olivia, Amelia, Lily, Mia, Isla etc.

In my age group, names tended to start with consonants and had a harder sound (Karen, Lisa, Sarah, Debbie, Suzanne etc).

No and I think the opposite can be true. I had 5 Lisa's in my class and they were all lumped together, didnt seem like they were able to stand out of distinguish themselves. My y7 sone has 4 Ollie's in his class and it's similar there.

I think unusual but not crazy is the optimum.

Take the author J.K. Rowling - it is said that she used initials rather than her first name so that her books weren't assumed to be for girls. She has also written under a man's name.

Your name is your brand.

@LittleCandle , is it Lili?

The people I know with unusual names in my middle-aged peer group are people that have changed their original, now-very-dated name to something more unusual because their profession required it (they usually work in the arts).

I don't think unusual names hold children back at all. I do think they have to be easy to pronounce though. There's a world of difference between, say, Petronilla and Cthulu.

The comments about lawyers and doctors not having certain names come across as quite ignorant/old fashioned and is not the world I recognise.

It is the child's background/opportunities (or lack of) that put them at an advantage/disadvantage not their name. Unless the name is something completely ridiculous I really don't see it as any kind of barrier to success unless you live in a small and parochial part of the country where people have very narrow views and the ultimate marker of success is being a lawyer called Oliver or Olivia.

Agree with the poster who said that the people who think every child has to called Emily and James must live somewhere very white and lacking in diversity.

But what would you think of Emelie and Jaymz?

^No and I think the opposite can be true. I had 5 Lisa's in my class and they were all lumped together, didnt seem like they were able to stand out of distinguish themselves. My y7 sone has 4 Ollie's in his class and it's similar there.

I think unusual but not crazy is the optimum.^

I agree.

I have an unusual name and surname (latter is Scottish but even Scots mispronounce or misspell). Massive disadvantage my whole life. Having to spell it out and everyone asking about my fucking name. Less so now as my name is fairly popular among a particular community.

Yes I have experienced ‘racism’ And people turning me down for jobs. Once I went to a group recruitment and my name was read out as part of a group sent home after scanning basic application forms for work in a well known shop on Oxford Street. All the names were ‘foreign’ sounding. The bloke doing the reading out was shocked that I had that name and told me to stay. I looked very presentable and was well dressed and presumably the right colour being pale white. I left anyway.

I agree OP
I have a long foreign name and I am tired of the assumptions and the spelling.
My DC got traditional names.

Yes scatter this > "it’s a bit tragic that I never learned to respond to my name. It felt like being an egg in a box rather than an individual."
I was one of four at school and I've always worked with other women with the same name.

Don't agree. I have an unusual name. I'm 45 and have only ever met one person with my name. I love it. Having a different name makes me feel special! I'm not sure I believe this thing about job applications and people being rejected if they have a foreign name. Where I work most of the senior people have foreign names, more than half the staff have foreign names actually. Many companies have to meet their diversity targets so often a foreign name is a tick in the box for them. I'm not saying that's right, it's just how it is. My DH has a foreign name and companies fight over him - not because he's foreign but because he's brilliant at his job. His name is irrelevant.

I saw an article recently about a High Court Judge whose name was Gary.

I met a baby called Carmel yesterday
Wouldn’t be my choice but I thought it was sweet.