Do you think ‘unusual’ names put a child at a disadvantage?

[Nojeansplease]

My name and my partners name are both difficult and we have to spell them constantly
I’m conscious about giving that to a child.

I’ve also read about studies showing people with foreign names are more likely to be rejected for jobs etc.

And there’s snobbishness if you choose a name that is considered ‘chavvy’ by some.

Did you pick an unusual name / do you have an unusual name - is that something you think of?

If you didn’t pick an unusual name were these things a factor?

I just can’t imagine myself with an Oliver/ Olivia or whatever the most popular names are now! (Though I appreciate they are lovely names too!)

I have an unusual name, I definitely gave my DC names that were straightforward because of it.

It’s sometimes quite frustrating having a name that people get wrong even after they’ve known you for long periods of time, having to spell it all the time and having the same conversation about it every single time you meet someone knowing full well they’ll still call you something different the next time you meet them... or forget it altogether and just remember it’s something unusual.

If 'unusual' means underused, classic and interesting, then great!

I agree with so many of your pp, particularly Rachel345.

On the subject of merchandised tat, did anyone here object to getting one with a different spelling of their name (Rachel if Rachael, Clare if Claire etc)?

People will definitely pre-judge, sadly.

I don’t think so. I would never judge someone based off their name

“If 'unusual' means underused, classic and interesting, then great!“

Mine is, still annoying sometimes to live with...

I love having an 'unusual' name! I've never had to share my name or add my surname initials. People tend to remember my name easily and my name is beautiful and easy to say and spell.

I gave my kids names that were used about 30 times in their birth year, and they seem very happy with their 'unusual' but classic names.

I don't believe anyone who says they wouldn't pre-judge on a name.

Would you not wonder if Ashley, Courtney or Lindsay was male or female? Or if someone said Michel, Peta or Noa wouldn't you hear Michelle, Peter or Noah?

What if your DH mentioned about Sheila or Barbara from work - would you picture someone close to retirement instead of a 22-yr old?

Can you tell I should be doing something else?

I've just looked up someone on SM. How I know of her is through someone in their late 40s. Both have names that would have been top 10 names about 45 years ago. The person I looked up is in her 20s.

@mikeuniformmike I agree, though I think most people would like to think they won’t judge

I find a shocking amount of people are openly rude to me about my name - literally saying ‘oh no I don’t like that’ or suggesting other names (top 100 names) that they could call me instead so they don’t have to ‘learn’ my name.

I think people without an unusual name have no idea!

But equally I think my name is really a huge part of my identity, and even though I got bullied for it at school, it seems to help me in my job now as I’m a bit more memorable!

Ha @MikeUniformMike I also work with a 25
Year old Barbara. And I have to say, I was more surprised at her name than Chelsea's! But she's amazing, goes by the name Babs and totally embraces her 60+ something name.

@ButterflyRuns I have a very popular\common name. There were quite of us in my year group. I never once resented it. But I feel very sorry for children who are given a name that they have to spell out every single time they say it.

my older son has a name that isn’t really unusual but isn’t that common. with his surname you’d probably think he was irish. he’s takes part in a sport and in the past has had people refusing to compete against him because ‘he sounds like a traveler’ (except they used a much more derogatory term). he now competes using my surname. so in his field his name is a disadvantage but in every day life it doesn’t affect him.

I often think of the poster who called their child Elle (pronounced Ellie)

I actually went to school with a girl in the 90s who had her name spelt like this and she would get so frustrated when they didn't pronounce it like Ellie. I would love to know what her mum expected to happen.

@ooooohbetty I don't mean that they always resent it (and of course I mean more childhood than when you're an adult), but I know my friend was in the same boat and she always wished her name was slightly less common when we were at school together.

Honestly, the best way forward is probably a name which isn't too obscure and people will be able to say

Should add but not necessarily a 'common name' either! There are plenty of beautiful gems not in the top 100 that people would have no difficulty with

People can be horrible. A name is a big part of anyone's identity.
Bullies will pick on anything and a 'different' name can give them ammunition.

I have an unusual name but one with history/tradition. Never met anyone else with my name and have always loved it.

I do always feel sorry for people with odd spellings of their names as it just gets tedious. My surname is a bit unusual but is spelt as it’s said - people just don’t believe it will be - so it’s a fairly quick explanation every time. DH has a name that is almost always spelt the same way but just occasionally isn’t and people will check that it’s the normal spelling - again though very quick to say yes. My (very common) first name has only one standard spelling ever but lots of people check anyway as it sounds like it might not. So I know you get all sorts of questions even with straightforward names. I know Clares and Claires and Tracys and Traceys etc who just put up with spelling mistakes. But when you deliberately spell a name totally differently to how it’s usually spelt you’re just setting your child up for a lifetime of annoying conversations.

I can’t win with my name. When I was born it was extremely unusual and as a child there was never another one in my schools.
However, it then became popular with several different spellings and two different pronunciations. 😠
It’s now seen as a bit, well, chavvy. I know that’s not a great word but it’s apt!

I always think the people who want every child to be called James and Emily or face bullying must live somewhere ultra-White British and never leave it at all. In DS’s class of 27 children there are names from various south Asian, west African, Polish, and Irish backgrounds — as well as three Alices, two Imogens and two Harrys — and this is rural Midlands. The babies we met when he was born in London were called anything from Ace to Thiago to Kwame to and Sebastian.

Humans can be biased that's for sure. So if you have two people with equal qualifications and experience applying for, say, a job in Law, and one is called Alexandra and the other Candy, I'm pretty sure they'd be biased against Candy purely down to name.

We chose very unique (but 100% real) makes for our children. We’re both children of migrants from different cultures and it felt a bit weird calling our kid Henry (like we were trying to pretend we were something that we are not) but similarly were not particular connect to the cultures that belong to our ethnic groups so using names from those cultures would also be off (not to mention unpronounceable). So we just picked obscure but British names that we liked the sound of. If nothing else they suit our children perfectly (given that we’ve never met anyone else with that name it’s not surprising) and we don’t look like we’re trying to pass for native English.

@YouJustDoYou Jobs in law, at least in the UK, are now often assessed blind (so my lawyer friends tell me). Not only is the name redacted, but so are the school(s) and university.

People always mention law/high court judges, but that's one field where names are starting to be less and less relevant.

Another with an unusual name here. I work with new people every shift at work so continually have to correct people on my name. I hate it. I hated it as a child and I hate it now.
I was a shy child who grew up in a rural village and just wanted to fit in. I've no interesting heritage so I've no idea what my parents were thinking. Plus I couldn't buy tat with my name on ;)