Would you warn a mum that your baby will share a name with hers?

[OddshoesOddsocks]

Dp and I have discussed names since starting TTC around May last year. We really struggle to agree on names but 1 stood out and came top of the list. Now due a dd in April of this year and that name has stuck so it’s looking like that’s what we’ll go with.

I like slightly unusual names and always liked the idea that my children will be the only ones in their class with that name.

Fast forward to maybe August/September last year and a new family move in over the road. Their eldest goes to the village school with mine and their youngest is just turned 1. Youngest has the same name as is intended for dd.

I wouldn’t say we are friends but we are friendly on the school run etc. Due to the nature of the school, it is likely that the 2 girls will share a classroom although will obviously be different year groups.

Would you mention it beforehand to her? I can imagine past me may have been a bit peeved at my baby having to share a name with another so close and i don’t want her to think we are copying.

If someone I barely knew came up to me to say they were naming their child the same as mine and to warn me, I'd think they were a loon.

What do you expect her to say? What could she say?

There's no point, is there?

I'd mention it is passing, but wouldn't go out of my way to earn her.

Our DS has a fairly unusual name: around 40 in the country in the year he was born. When he started nursery, there was already another little boy with the same name. In a room of just 6 babies! It is what it is.

No, it’s none of her business, nobody owns the right to a name!

Top 170 isn't unusual.

Someone I know named her baby the same name as my eldest who is almost ten a few months ago. I just remarked on how spectacular her taste was! Most people aren’t bothered about this sort of thing, warning her is just a bit weird.

Also wanted to add that when my DD was born almost nine years ago her name was virtually unheard of, it wasn’t even in the top 100. For some reason it’s blown up over the past four or so years and now is in the top 20. Not sure how or why it happened but it is a bit gutting. Shit happens I guess, the same could happen to your ‘unique’ name too.

Is there really no other name you like?

It’s by no means unique and it’s a known name, there just isn’t (or wasn’t!) any in our area, making it more unusual for us.
We’re very much in the kind of area where all baby boys are called George and there’s many duplicate or more girls names in the small school of 90 children.

I’ll mention it next time I see her if it seems right, if not I’ll leave it til it does.
Thank you to others who shared their experiences on both sides of the fence. I think I’d have appreciated the heads up, particularly with dd1.

Do you live in a very small village, op? It’s odd that you know the names of all the kids in your area, especially when this will be your first child so you won’t be part of any baby groups, standing at the school gates, etc?
What’s the betting several more come out of the woodwork when you’re actually socialising with your child.

This is dd3. The elder 2 are 8 and 4. It’s a very small village with a toddler group that I frequented with both girls, they both go to the village school and went to the attached preschool where I also worked until a year ago. Prior to that I was a childminder in the villager. Currently I work in the village pub. I’ve lived here for nearly 30 years.

I know who’s about

Oh, I see! Sorry, I just read you had decided to TTC and assumed it was for your first.

I wouldn’t say anything. What would you do if she got annoyed and asked you not to do it?

@mistermagpie bit irrelevant but how do I find out how many babies were born the same year as my DS with his name? I’m curious! I

Im in Scotland and the general registrars office publish all the baby names for each year and how many babies had each name as well as a bunch of other info. The previous year is usually published in about March.

I expect there will be the same thing in other countries.

I don't think you 'should', in that you don't have any obligation to, but I think it's fine to do this. I probably would. It'll hopefully just make things a bit less awkward. Of course she might throw a hissy fit and try to tell you not to in which case you'll have to steel yourself to firmly and politely tell her that it's not her choice.

I've had someone say to me we like that name, do you mind if we use it? Of course the answer was a resounding no! Call your baby whatever you like and I saw it as a compliment. I actually thought it was a bit odd that they asked permission.

I'd take pp advice and say small world, that is the name we've had earmarked for a long time.

Rural schools do tend to blend years and if she has only just turned 1 wont they be in the same year anyway?

As long as the name isn't Val, you're fine.

I’d mention it.

i think the time to mention it was when you first met the lady and she said the name of her children (then you say "oh that's my next one will be called")

If she has mentioned her kids names to you already you can't do this, but if she hasn't (and you just know the names from local gossip) then you can do this.