Baby name choice - regret - change or keep

[1mummyinabigcity]

New to mumsnet and looking to canvass some honest opinion outside of the main circle of people I know. My partner and I whittled baby names for our new boy down to a few. We had a lot of trouble deciding any boys names and have an older son for which a name decision was difficult as well. For a long time, I'd just assumed we'd call the lad a certain name we'd been joking about assuming he'll just be called when he arrives. In the end, we didn't use it.

I thought I was ambivalent between the names and my partner had a definite preference, so we named our lad that. During the name registration itself, we were going to change the middle name to something I liked much better than what we originally decided, but I got cold feet about it and didn't make the change.

We agreed a name that will be the formal name, but instead we'll use the nickname (the nickname adds a letter to the formal name so it's not a straight nickname and if people hear the formal name, they may call him a different nickname). I don't particularly like the default nickname from the formal name but we'd agreed we just won't use it, however this has not been true now that the name is in use.

There was another name I loved and we were going to use, but it is one of those many people would think is a girl's name rather than a boy's name if seen on paper. I decided this just was unfair to do to the child because his brother has a normal male name. Living in a city, it seemed like it would be a "trendy" or "hipster" name especially since we are very English and the name is very Eastern European generally and we have no Eastern European roots.

So now I'm not sure if I should change his name to the one I had always assumed it was going to be, change it to the "trendy" name that I had loved or try to get used to this one and get over the regret that went into this name being decided (we absolutely rushed the naming as my partner thought my indecision was similar to my previous indecision for my previous son). And if we change the name, a) are we damaging him forever as the original would always be on the long form birth certificate? b) should we try to keep this current name with him as a middle name?

Sorry, quite a long one! Very grateful for any opinions on this though.

Alex is fine as a boy's name. So is Sacha. I would go for it.

There's also Ned for Edward.

I like Sasha (more than Sacha) for Alexander.

Should've read the full thread. George is lovely.

Glad you went with George. You were seriously overthinking the whole name thing!

I’m
Glad your settled on a name :)
I feel comments like the above ‘ you were seriously overthinking the whole name thing’ are not needed in supporting OP.
I too have been through , emotions regarding my DD name and it consumes your thoughts massively and to you it seems like a big deal although not to others. I actually officially changed my DD name in the first 12 months as we always called her a shortening which is the obvious and after introducing her , taking her to doctors etc and being called the lingering name , it just began to play on my mind and not identify my DD , whereas the short name was her. Therefore we changed it. I think it shows strength in a person to change their child’s name and their decisions are important to them.

*not the obvious shortening

@cantfindname - I'm glad you hadn't read the thread first to leave that comment. I didn't even think of that and we already have people asking about "when's the girl" even though our family is definitely complete! I can also totally imagine that thought going through someone's mind.

@llangennith - I can see why you would say that and this is the trouble, some people definitely have a tendency to overthink it I reckon. It feels enormous naming someone although when you meet people you never really think twice about their name generally! So can definitely see the point that it is being overthought about.

@milkshake435 - glad you went through with what feels right!

From reading quite a few name regret threads, it seemed when it genuinely was about the actual name rather than any other issues, most people who didn't change it on the balance regretted not changing it more than those who did change it regretted having done the change. So regret over not changing it seemed to outweigh fear of what people would think/reaction from others.

The only Sacha I can think of is Sacha Distel but just googled the name and only men come up Sacha Baron Cohen and Sacha Gervasi who is a British American film director so obviously hasn't caused him any problems. I think Sasha is the female version but it does sound the same.

My nephew's 3rd child didn't have his name fixed until he was a year old. They kept trying 2 or 3 names over the first year and eventually decided just before he was a year old - and not the one I expected either.

Sacha/Sasha is one of my favourite names for a boy, I guessed that might be your other one! Why give him a name you don't like just because of what other people might think? It's a boy's name, a lovely one, and he's your son

Pssht. Nobody really cares about 'real' names vs 'family names', so go for whatever .

To this day I have one paternal uncle who's real name is John who everyone knows/calls David, and on my maternal side an Andrew who for 50 years of his life was known as Ben.

Ha, wish I could've tried them out for an entire year but that might be slightly too long for me!

@Tyburn - that is totally true...in fact, I myself have been known by two specific nicknames rather than my actual name for many years! But they are not name nicknames if that makes sense.

How does it feel a few years on? Does he feel like his new name? What was it like telling people about the change?