Can we triple barrel our child's name?

[TooManySurnames]

Ok, before I start, last time I did a thread it got picked up by journos so, just in case: please fuck off lazy journo twats.

Right. I have a single 2 syllable surname, lets say "Austen". My partner has a 3-2 syllable double barrelled name, with the first part being relevant to his heritage, say "González-Peters". We both want to share our surnames with our child, and neither of us are willing to change or drop our names, so we're in a stand off. I think he should give the first part of his name as a middle name, and double barrel the rest with mine:

[John] [González] [Peters-Austen]

He think's we should use both names as surnames, but without hyphenating:

[John] [González-Peters Austen]/ [Austen González-Peters]

I think 3 names is too much to saddle a child with, especially when part of it is already hard to spell/ pronounce. He says that it's not 3 names, it's 2, i.e. his name is not "González"+"Peters", its "González-Peters". If we were Peters-Austen then our child would have his fathers name and my name, but not his name. I can see his logic but I still think it's too much, you can't just keep adding names forever!

I'm putting it to the MN jury, and also open to alternative solutions. Will probably show him this thread.

Applying for any form of credit is a pain

I cannot remember how many times I have been cut off by a number of banks, HMCR, etc during identity checks as they only have a portion of my surname and the full surname “doesn’t match” the records.

Getting through a check to work with young people took a life time as my name was misspelled or truncated in different records 🤦🏻‍♀️

you can't give the poor baby three names

they will be wanting to change to Jones as soon as it's legally allowed and I don't blame them.

Sorry BiglyBadgers I didn't mean to be rude saying that about middle names. I'm glad you found a solution you're happy with and I take your point about a middle name being in many ways more permanent than a last name. It's not a solution I'd personally be happy with though.

But this is not only about you but about putting your child forward for a lot of problems just so both of you can get your way.

You will see that as soon as your child goes to school you will also be called by the three surnames or will even find yourself using the three surnames to try to avoid a stupid amount of proding questions at nursery, school, the doctors, airlines, etc.

I would go as far as saying that if he is not willing to compromise you put your foot down and only use your surname.

It works better for you and the kids in the long term.

People go to great lengths to design a first name for their child, why not do the same with the surname? Unless the name has significant meaning to a large group of people because your the head of the clan/ligne/family/tribe or it has a lot of historic significance or some aristocratic dynasty.

Even more than three first names middle names becomes cumbersome. Believe me I've lived for six decades with this and the only time it's been if any benefit is getting faster service in certain European hotels and restaurants. Even then it's been a bit uncomfortable.

Take your bank card out and try to work out how many letters you have to play with. Mine can only take 25 characters of 83 letters and 5 spaces (and that's not including my first name and middle names). And which bit do you choose? the first part or the last part? I chose the first part years ago and that's what I live with. MasterCard won't be going away in the next 25 to 30 years and plastic will still be issued.

Imagine what it will be like in 18 odd years when your dc has to sign up first their account and having to read it their name over phone to a call center person.

So what is the norm in his culture? I mean if his name is for example Mendez Consuela and his partner is Hernandez Maria cos they both have their parents names, what happens?

"BreakfastAtSquiffanys

Ask him are you naming a child or a firm of solicitors?"

Am I the only one that spit out my tea when reading this? :D

I think three-barrelled is too many.
We are a family of four with three different surnames but I think that's quite common these days? My sons have my ex's surname, I've changed back to my maiden name, and my fiance has a different surname too. When we marry I will double-barrel but my boys won't change (they couldn't even if they wanted to as ex wouldn't give permission). If fiance and I have a child together (unlikely as I'm 38 now) then he/she would be double-barrel to have both of our surnames.

I get wanting to keep yours in there and your OH doesn't want to compromise his but realistically baby isn't going to take either of your names as they are anyway you're creating a totally new one that neither of you have (if you see what I mean.) I get, getting caught up in not wanting to offend family by not including their name too but I personally would prob give in and drop my name but that is easy for me to say as I took my husbands name anyway because I wanted to, I used my family members names as middle names. I wouldn't saddle them with three though personally but it's totally each to their own of course. X

I have a double-barrelled name. With my first, middle and surname it is long enough, triple-barrelling it would end up causing you and your child a lot of frustration - just think every time a form is filled in with their name on....the amount of times there won't be enough spaces, its just annoying. Plus the child will have to say and spell out their name all the time, the longer it is the more annoying. Double barrel at most.

I work in healthcare. I’ve met several triple barrelled surname children. It looks and sounds bloody ridiculous, especially being called in from a waiting room. And I often wonder how dysfunctional the parents are to not be able to agree on one surname (I’m not even a double barrelled fan)? It’s only a matter of time before the double barrelled doubled barrelled names start rolling in. Don’t do it.

@TooManySurnames have you tried pointing out to your dp what so many pp have sais, about the Spanish/ Portuguese tradition of dropping a surname?

Just as an aside. As a language teacher I found most of the top groups came from surnames lower down in the alphabet. There were always exceptions, but as a general rule. I'm from the very end of the alphabet and it's a bit crap.

Why don't you use your last name as the middle name? Then only 1 double-barrelled last name, but your name is still included.

Middle name is the consolation prize. The OP doesn't want that.

A child should have the same surname as his or her mother.
It makes life easier.

@Wallywobbles As in the more able groups had surnames lower down the alphabet?!! I'm thinking of mega intelligent people now and wondering if this holds true! So far it hasn't as I've thought of Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking...😄

Middle name is the consolation prize. The OP doesn't want that.

OP also doesn't want a triple-barrelled surname.

What happens in Portuguese traditions? Do they generally take both grandfather's names and drop grandmothers' names?

Well spotted.

Do they generally take both grandfather's names and drop grandmothers' names?

Yes. As in Spain. Only the order is different.

@Ella1980 Einstein would definitely count as the beginning of the alphabet. Small groups of 10-12 students so not many a's or b's. Like I said it was just a general trend. My kids have a C surname and are in the top language groups. I was bottom group with mine.

@Wallywobbles That would explain why my Year 7 is great at his German homework and I'm rubbish at it and when I marry my fiance I'll get even worse! Son is towards bottom of alphabet and I'll be near the top! I got a B in German and French GCSE and B in French A-level but my maiden name was also near the bottom of the alphabet. Then again, it could just be my age 😉

Triple barrelling a surname is bordering on child abuse!
Could you not have 2 of them as middle names?