Can we triple barrel our child's name?

[TooManySurnames]

Ok, before I start, last time I did a thread it got picked up by journos so, just in case: please fuck off lazy journo twats.

Right. I have a single 2 syllable surname, lets say "Austen". My partner has a 3-2 syllable double barrelled name, with the first part being relevant to his heritage, say "González-Peters". We both want to share our surnames with our child, and neither of us are willing to change or drop our names, so we're in a stand off. I think he should give the first part of his name as a middle name, and double barrel the rest with mine:

[John] [González] [Peters-Austen]

He think's we should use both names as surnames, but without hyphenating:

[John] [González-Peters Austen]/ [Austen González-Peters]

I think 3 names is too much to saddle a child with, especially when part of it is already hard to spell/ pronounce. He says that it's not 3 names, it's 2, i.e. his name is not "González"+"Peters", its "González-Peters". If we were Peters-Austen then our child would have his fathers name and my name, but not his name. I can see his logic but I still think it's too much, you can't just keep adding names forever!

I'm putting it to the MN jury, and also open to alternative solutions. Will probably show him this thread.

I agree with a few PP that you should run with the Hispanic method of dropping the mother's part of your DP's surname swing as that's what would have happened if you'd also been double-barrelled Hispanic (and you'd have also lost your mother's part of your name). Surely following the tradition is much more of a nod to his heritage than doing some compromise, maybe put it to your DP that way?

egotistical battle of wills in which neither parent will back down, but would rather saddle their child with an unworkable bitch of a name instead.

But that's not the case here.

But Lisa I'm referring to this egotistical battle of wills in which neither parent will back down, but would rather saddle their child with an unworkable bitch of a name instead.

Yeah, again, people don't seem to see it as an egotistical battle of wills when a man thinks the whole family should have his surname and nothing but. At least OP and her DH are trying to compromise and listen to each other and they're starting from the basic premise that they should both get an equal stake in this, they just disagree about how to do that. What 'oh it's no big deal for one name to go' currently equates to is women giving up their names the vast majority of the time.

Yeah my surname is a middle name for dc and I wish now it wasn’t - I should have double barrelled.

The OP says neither of them will back down and that they're in a standoff @Skirmisher

So what @LisaSimpsonsbff we are talking about this situation not any other one!

We have a similar dilemma, except one of the parents who provide one half of the double barrel is dead, so it requires my DH deciding whether he chooses to honour his dead parent, or the only living one. Names and families are complicated and it’s amazing how emotive this subject can be when you start delving into it. We haven’t come up with a solution yet. My name has 2 syllables, each of his is only one, so I’ve suggested just removing the hyphen and making his name a single name, so it’s the equivalent of Snarky Corr-Smith Johnson becoming Snarky Corrsmith-Johnson, but he’s still pushing back on that!

Yes, and I think you're berating the people in this situation quite unnecessarily!

Totally agree that if it is a hispanic name, then he's being hugely unreasonable.

Father: Pedro Lopez Cardinal
Mother: Ana Ruiz Garcia.
Child: Antonio LOPEZ RUIZ.

So in your case, the option is Child Gonzalez-Austen. Three surnames is far too much of a mouthful unless you're Spanish aristocracy.

Really, with my one post on the matter. Ok.

I think it's ok to give all the names, but not to triple barrel them.

I'd go for your first option. One of his names as middle name and one from each of you as the double barrel name.

As a former immigrant to the UK, keeping the main surnames english makes life for the child much easier.

So, my vote goes fully to [John] [González] [Peters-Austen]

Double-barrelled names are standard in Hispanic culture. The structure is first half of father's surname followed by first half of mother's surname.

Would that work for your child?

The OP says neither of them will back down and that they're in a standoff @Skirmisher

Yes but the OP seems pretty determined to avoid the 'unworkable bitch of a name' scenario.

Surely if you have Spanish (or Portuguese) heritage you go with:

No, just Spanish.

Portuguese would be the other way around, as the father's name is always the last:

Dad: 1st name - mother's name - father's name
Mum: 1st name - mother's name - father's name

Child: 1st name - mum's father's name (last) - dad's father's name (last)

Oh interesting! Today's lesson in cross-cultural naming practices.

Please DON’T. I would go for option 1 which is the way it will work in practice. (And the most considerate option for your child, who is the one who will be burdened with the names and all the mistakes such a name can carry... it is not only about what you want... when it comes to having kids you have to put their needs first)

Many online systems wouldn’t accept two dashes in a surname, and leads to COUNTLESS mistakes created by the unusual surname like the first part of your h’s surname being assumed a second/middle name, or the last word being assumed the only surname.

I am considering simplifying my name to two words (given name + 1 surname) and allow my son to remove his dad’s surname or mine when he is 18. It is absolute hell, if the computers do not allow for your surnames to be entered as they are (and most systems won’t or will only show/print the first part of it), it leads to a lot of problems, from school certificates being issued in the wrong name to medical files not found or delayed when you go to A&E or GP.

Even picking up a prescription is a hassle, normally they have to search us under A, B or C, before they find it and such search is only allowed if you find a nice and willing receptionist happy to search three times, most times we are told they cannot find things and ask us to re send the forms or try again on the next day. (Rolls eyes)

Double barred names are not standard in Spanish speaking countries but having two surnames is.

That works well back in the place where having 2 surnames not connected by a dash is usual. Try it here and nothing works unless you want to put the dash between the surnames which will result into a single surname.

By the way, there are two or three worded Spanish surnames and in such cases they will add another one for the mum and dad, but I can tell you that all the times this results in people thinking WTF? and the child being referred to by ONLY the dad’s surname in practice.

(Obviously, this is a subject feel strongly about )

Oh Please don't

seriously what NotSureThisIsWhatIWant said. Having a multi word non standard surname in the UK is a PITA, it really is. The amount if times I thought Smith, Brown or Singh would be a better option. 5 letters 2 syllables, simple. My family name may have heritage and meaning elsewhere in Europe but it's archaic and anachronistic and in England it's a constant WTF. mispronunciation, misspelling, truncation, only part if it on letters and enails. Mailing databases only have part if it. Applying for any form of credit is a pain. The absolute worst part is when someone rings me and you hear the distinct pause as they start trying to say it all.

If you had to live with it you wouldn't do it, as my DCs are UK born, they have only one word for their surname and that's it.

The days of Saint John-Smith & Cadogan-Featherstonehaugh-Brown are long gone.

No. Don't do that. Its a horrible thing to do to a child.

Call him Austin (forename) Peter (middle name) Gonzalez, or Peter Austin-Gonzalez .... Don't give him more than a double barrel name.

What happens when your child has children 30 years in the future?

What if he marries someone with a double-barrelled surname?

Will they have to give their child a quintuple-barrelled surname?

Ask your husband this if he can’t see why Austen-Gonzalez-Peters is different from Austen-Peters.

Will they have to give their child a quintuple-barrelled surname?

Bingo!

You said partner. Assuming you’re in the uk and unmarried you register the birth. So he either compromises or baby is first name your surname (effectively the option he is offering you is in practice baby first name his surname).