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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Older sibling having a say in baby name

76 replies

RainbowsAndUnicorns23 · 23/06/2018 21:15

Sorry me posting about names again!

So me and OH both love a name, I didn't include it on my opinions list because DS (he is 6) hates it.

So my question is, how many of you had the older sibling have a say? Some people have said I should use it anyway, but I worry he would associate the dislike of the name and it affect him bonding with his baby brother!

The name is Ellis and his reason for not liking it is because it sounds too girly and he just doesn't like the sound!

OP posts:
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3boysandabump · 23/06/2018 21:19

Well I have 3 children and if I was waiting for them to all agree on a name this baby will never have one.
I would take into consideration what they said but wouldn't necessarily go along with it

TheVanguardSix · 23/06/2018 21:24

Parents name their children.
End of.

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 23/06/2018 21:25

If it had been up to the kids my middle daughter would have been called "Jemima Puddleduck Velocity". So we discussed names and told them (they were 7 & 3) what their little brother or sister would be called.

Wildlingofthewest · 23/06/2018 21:26

Your 6 yr old likely changes his mind daily on a whole host of subjects. He’s a child!

Name your baby how ever you like but the opinion of a young child really shouldn’t be having any sway on this what so ever!

letsallhaveanap · 23/06/2018 21:27

If you love it then use it. Your other son will not hold the same views about names in years to come...

heiheithechicken · 23/06/2018 21:30

My 5 yo named our dog 'hulk' ...

SomeKnobend · 23/06/2018 21:32

Are there names he does like? Could it be he dislikes the name out of a bit of trepidation about having a baby brother, rather than the other way round, iyswim? If it's just that particular name then I kind of see your point but I'd be pretty reluctant to have a sibling picking the name of my baby tbh, unless there was another name I liked pretty much equally.

Wolfiefan · 23/06/2018 21:33

We had our second child when our first was 6. We never discussed names with the older child.

RainbowsAndUnicorns23 · 23/06/2018 21:34

There are other names he likes, some of which have been cartoon characters he suggested and other names which have been suggested by myself and OH.

He has said from when Ellis was first mentioned he doesn't like it and has maintained that opinion.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 23/06/2018 21:35

Seriously why would you let a child choose the name of anything other than a pet? You choose. Keep discussions away from the older child.

Hopskipjumping · 23/06/2018 21:36

My son named our daughters middle name. It is Ella. I thought it was ok but didn't love it so we used it for her middle name.

If he hated her first name it would be tough luck. Especially as Ellis is beautiful.

Rolypolybabies · 23/06/2018 21:36

My then 2 year old named our new born. We had called her Olivia and she couldn't say it so called her a different name. It stuck. We love it

villainousbroodmare · 23/06/2018 21:38

DS aged 2.9 wanted to call his brother Batman. Grin

Aprilshouldhavebeenmyname · 23/06/2018 21:38

My ds wanted to name new baby Ben.
After his friend's ddog!!
Eh no!!
Did let dc put names in a hat for a laugh but chose our own!!

HippyChickMama · 23/06/2018 21:45

Ds was 5 when dd was born. He did suggest names for her; Margaret, Susan and Hermione. We decided against them.

KitchenFloor · 23/06/2018 22:05

I wouldn't let the child pick the name but would be hesitant to use one he clearly "hates". Ds declared he didn't like his new baby sister's name, though, but it was only after she was born that we named her (and told everyone the name including him). He requested she be called Annabelle instead, we declined. He has still requested that when she's bigger she loses her "baby" name and gets another "proper" name (we've declined that too, especially as his choice of "proper"names appear to be school friends!).

GrumpySausage · 23/06/2018 22:06

Currently bfing 3 day old 'Pando'. DS still hasn't accepted that DD is Erin.

Can you offer him a middle name suggestion as a compromise?

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 23/06/2018 22:08

I think you are giving him way too much power and it will be confusing for him tbh.

Still remembering DD1 insistence that the DTs would be called Frank and The Baby Grin

BrownTurkey · 23/06/2018 22:56

I agree with pp, don’t let him choose but don’t actively choose the one he hates.

ReadytoTalk · 24/06/2018 00:15

I can't see how naming your baby a name his brother hates would help him bond with the new baby. If it was me id pick a different name.

Pebblespony · 24/06/2018 00:23

6 is too young to have an opinion on naming a child. A dog maybe but not a child.

PodgeBod · 24/06/2018 00:23

I know a family where the 4 year old was allowed to choose his baby brothers middle name. It is awful and I have to chuckle every time I remember it.

Pebblespony · 24/06/2018 00:26

But I totally get what pp are saying about not choosing a name you know he actively dislikes. You might have to chose another but dont ask for opinions and when the baby arrives say 'Meet X'.

SleepingStandingUp · 24/06/2018 00:27

Depending on how much you like it, I probably dump it if he is consistently saying he dislikes it but lines other sensible ones. Simply because I'd be concerned it would swap his looking of the new human.
If it's one of a list, it's no effort to dump it. If it's your only agreed name / absolute favourite then I'd go with it and tell DS he can give baby a CUTE nickname

PerfectlyDone · 24/06/2018 00:29

Rookie mistake, mentioning the name to anybody before the baby's born! Grin

Your baby, your name choice.
Big brother will soon get used to it.