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Original poster

Older sibling having a say in baby name

76 replies

RainbowsAndUnicorns23 · 23/06/2018 21:15

Sorry me posting about names again!

So me and OH both love a name, I didn't include it on my opinions list because DS (he is 6) hates it.

So my question is, how many of you had the older sibling have a say? Some people have said I should use it anyway, but I worry he would associate the dislike of the name and it affect him bonding with his baby brother!

The name is Ellis and his reason for not liking it is because it sounds too girly and he just doesn't like the sound!

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TolchockLovelyInTheLitso · 24/06/2018 00:31

DSis is 6 years younger than me. I hated her name^ ^when she was born and insisted I'd only ever call her by her middle name. Of course by the time she was about a month old I'd forgotten all about it and love her name now.

Go with the name you and DP like. Suggest to DS he can make up a special brother name only he uses for the baby. ^

TingleTots · 24/06/2018 00:32

@GrumpySausage that really made me laugh!

OP I can see where you're coming from, you must be regretting telling him now! We gave DC a choice of two names we liked and couldn't decide between and they chose. I'm so glad we did as we can't imagine using the other name now!

TingleTots · 24/06/2018 00:34

@TolchockLovelyInTheLitso I think that's a lovely idea, might make him feel very special and the nickname could last for a long time which could be lovely

TolchockLovelyInTheLitso · 24/06/2018 00:34

Like podge I know someone who was allowed to choose her little sister's name. She picked Milly Molly Mandy.

Oh! And my mum was allowed to name my Uncle. She (Janet), having just learned to read went for John. Hmm

These decisions are best not left to kids.

TolchockLovelyInTheLitso · 24/06/2018 00:36

Cheers Tingle. Might also help with bonding, and reduce any fury that the baby has a name big bro doesn't like.

BackforGood · 24/06/2018 00:44

Seriously why would you let a child choose the name of anything other than a pet? You choose. Keep discussions away from the older child.

This ^

and

Rookie mistake, mentioning the name to anybody before the baby's born!

This ^

It's difficult enough to agree on a name for your child between 2 parents. You are just asking for trouble mentioning 'thought' to anyone else. Wait until the baby is here, and then tell everyone what it is called.

NorbertTheDragon · 24/06/2018 00:51

I let my eldest choose his siblings names.

Marmalade, Rainbow Boy, Rainbow Girl (who is confusingly a boy!) and Wayne are very happy about it, I can tell you. Wink

HerRoyalNotness · 24/06/2018 01:03

We had a shortlist and told the older DC. Middle DC said x is her name, from the list. And refused to call her anything else. So x is the name. It’s a lovely, nice name but feels a bit safe and I wished I’d pushed for something more ‘extravagant’ on the list

AlliKaneErikson · 24/06/2018 05:15

Completely outing for anyone who knows me, but DS wanted to call his sister Zooter or DooDooBaba. To be fair, he was only two.
We didn’t take him up in his suggestion...

flumpybear · 24/06/2018 05:32

My 6 year old is getting two fish today - he's already named them Bubbles and Flip-flop

Don't listen to a 6 year old!

NatalieRushman · 24/06/2018 05:46

My parents let me choose my dsis's name when I was 6. Thank god I chose something very sensible, that they both liked Grin I do think though, that your d's is likely to forget how much he hates the name when he has a real little brother.

HJL2506 · 24/06/2018 06:17

I absolutely love the name Ellis.

I am expecting my second boy in October and his name will either be Sidney or Ellis. He will probably be Sidney but that's o my because DS1 has an old fashioned name too.

I think your son may not be keen as Wllis is less heard of than names like Harry or Jack, so that could be why as it may seem "strange" to him. Once bubba is here, after a few months I'm sure nobody could imagine him being called anything else. I'd say go win it and maybe let your eldest pick his middle name?

Unescorted · 24/06/2018 06:33

Our DD got to name her brother. She was 2 1/2 at the time. We honoured her decision. Admittedly it could have gone horribly wrong and the registrar wouldn't let us use Window as his middle name on the birth certificate, but he plans on changing that as soon as he is old enough.
The advantage has been that DD took her big sister duties really seriously and still does. Tom has always been her brother and part of her family. Not an interloper to be jealous of. They are really close, rarely squabble and treat each other with respect.

I would recommend including any siblings in the naming of subsequent children. The benefits to the family dynamic have been huge - way beyond it sounding nice together when shouted across the playground.

Footofthestairs · 24/06/2018 06:45

I have an Alexander partly due to Peppa Pig and my DD (2.5 at the time) deciding that her baby brother would be called Baby Alexander too. Could have been worse, and fortunately we had Alexander on our shortlist anyway!

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 24/06/2018 07:08

My sister named me and then repeatedly told me how she named me. She thought I was her little doll and could boss me around. It soon became clear that I wouldn't be bossed around and I changed my name when I was very young. Having said that I am not sure if I would name my child a name that the sibling hated. If you find another name then maybe before you announce it as the name then read a book with that name in it so it is familiar to him.

ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 24/06/2018 07:14

I think letting a child name their sibling is giving them way, way too much power. It's their name, something they will have every day of their life and in part form their identity to themselves and others. It's not a child's decision.

Gingerninj · 24/06/2018 07:21

Told our older two their younger sister's name a few days before she was due. DD was 11 at the time and didn't like it but eventually got over it and likes her name now and thinks it suits her. DS was upset that we didn't pick Lala as her name, he was 4 at the time and forgot quickly. I think you should go for Ellis if you really like the name, its a nice name. Your DS will most likely forget he ever disliked the name or will just get used to it

Justmuddlingalong · 24/06/2018 07:37

You could allow your DS to name a hamster, not have a say in naming a sibling.

BackforGood · 24/06/2018 13:42

Unescorted That is likely the relationship they would have had come what may - nothing to do with you liking a name your dd suggested.

mummabearfoyrbabybears · 24/06/2018 13:58

While I wouldn't necessarily let my older children name my baby I would definitely take into account one of them not liking the name. Although my youngest is named after a character in GLEE because I can give advice but not take it Blush

TatianaLarina · 24/06/2018 14:03

I agree with the 6 year old - Ellis is awful.

GoJohnnyGoGoGoGo · 24/06/2018 14:09

DS1 wanted to call DS2 Cheeky-Robin Sqidgy-Pants. He was most disappointed when we didn't go with his suggestion.

diddl · 24/06/2018 14:22

What other names does he like?

I'm not sure he should necessarily choose, but like him, I don't like Ellis.

Cattenberg · 24/06/2018 14:38

When I was little, I wanted to name my DSis. I liked girls names ending in "bel" and decided that Jezebel was my favourite. DSis is now 28 and still relieved I wasn't allowed to name her.

goose1964 · 24/06/2018 14:43

My 5 year old grandson insisted his baby brother should have the same name as his big brother because that's what brothers are called. Not a good idea.