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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Older sibling having a say in baby name

76 replies

RainbowsAndUnicorns23 · 23/06/2018 21:15

Sorry me posting about names again!

So me and OH both love a name, I didn't include it on my opinions list because DS (he is 6) hates it.

So my question is, how many of you had the older sibling have a say? Some people have said I should use it anyway, but I worry he would associate the dislike of the name and it affect him bonding with his baby brother!

The name is Ellis and his reason for not liking it is because it sounds too girly and he just doesn't like the sound!

OP posts:

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fleshmarketclose · 24/06/2018 14:46

Dd1 named dd2 tbh. I love her name and it seemed to help dd come to terms with no longer being the only girl. Had it been an awful name I'd have hoped I could have talked her round anyway.

SumAndSubstance · 25/06/2018 07:23

If you want him to feel included, I think you could give him a shortlist of maybe three to choose from. You could have just called the baby Ellis in the first place, but I would be cautious about giving him a name that his brother has consistently maintained that he hates.

MikeUniformMike · 25/06/2018 10:31

DS1 should not be dictating what his brother is called. A 6-year old will not know of many names, so his suggestions will be those of relatives, friends, acquaintances and from TV.

heateallthebuns · 25/06/2018 15:48

Unless I liked the names chick hicks or pikachu I wouldn't listen to elder siblings in my house!!!

MakeItStopNeville · 25/06/2018 15:51

We let Dc1 name dc2. I don’t know what the fuck we were thinking!

MsJolly · 25/06/2018 15:56

I was given the option and picked Sharon for my sister (70's child). It is her middle name and she hates it but was my best friends name at the time!

knowledgeofnone · 25/06/2018 16:05

Dd1 was 4 1/2 when dd2 was born and we had spoke to her about names the whole time she really liked one name (which was my fave) and told a few people that's what she was going to be called but we weren't sure. When she came dd1 came to the hospital and we told her we were thinking of x name and she said no her name is y name and was pretty firm on it so we went with it and I'm glad we did because it was still my fave (I was just worried as first 2 letters are same as first 2 in surname). I don't think I could have went with something she hated though.

MrsFoxPlus4 · 25/06/2018 17:24

My son liked Stella. Kept suggesting it so we went with it.

kaytee87 · 25/06/2018 18:18

I think it's nice to include an older sibling to a certain extent. For instance, make a list of names you & DH both love and let the sibling choose from it or let the sibling put some names on a list for you and DH to choose from.
I probably wouldn't let a child completely veto a name I loved but I wouldn't want to call a baby something their older sibling hates too.
For what it's worth, I agree with your DS, I don't like Ellis either and think it is quite feminine (if you care about these things).

Flamingosnbears · 25/06/2018 20:09

I would definitely let my children have a say I love the idea of them being so involved in the whole process and experience, after all it can be quite isolating for a sibling when perents are expecting.

applesandpears56 · 25/06/2018 20:16

I let my children have a say. They are part of the family and if you expect them to love and make room in their lives for this child it’s only fair you let them be involved in the naming process too. However I do think parents should have the final say.
Can you not find a name around Ellis that you all like? Like Elijah, Elton or Ethan?

applesandpears56 · 25/06/2018 20:17

Ps I don’t like Ellis either. I can see it become a girls name in a few years like Harper.

KitchenFloor · 25/06/2018 20:20

Just realised why I don't like Ellis. It's the name of the drug dealer at college on the Archers at the moment

ladymelbourne1926 · 25/06/2018 20:37

I let my eldest 2 decide on the name of my youngest they were 17 and 8 at the time.
They chose a beautiful name and took it all very seriously.

ChickensError · 25/06/2018 21:31

DSD wanted to name DS Pizza or Window. Neither won the day.

MaddeningtheUnhelpful · 25/06/2018 21:37

If I'd have let my kids decide my middle (daughter) would have been Baby Jake and my youngest would have been either John Cena or Diamond Unicorn...
So no. Kids get no say 😂

Heartofglass12345 · 25/06/2018 21:55

I love the name Ellis. I have one lol. If I remember rightly he also wanted his little brother to be called Ellis lol

badg3r · 25/06/2018 22:06

I don't think older siblings should be able to pick a name completely freely but if your DS has always maintained he doesn't like Ellis I wouldn't use it.

badg3r · 25/06/2018 22:09

FWIW I can remember making suggestions for my brother's name and they were used! I was so proud. Until it came to naming my own sone and I realised I'd used my favourites already 🤣

LoveInTokyo · 27/06/2018 08:28

I agree with your five year old about Ellis!

HJL2506 · 27/06/2018 09:40

If you're happy with Ellis I'd go with it. Could your son name the middle name? Whatever name you choose some people won't like. I personally love the name Ellis (even though your question wasn't who likes the name but would you let your child influence your decision). Go with your gut :)

nervousnails · 27/06/2018 09:45

My brother is 8 years older than me. He named me :)

RavenWings · 27/06/2018 14:59

No, I wouldn't let him have a say in naming a sibling. If he has kids when he's older, he gets to have a say in those names. He's not the parent in this situation.

If it makes you happy to let him have a say do it, itll do no harm, but I certainly wouldn't.

DaphneBlake101 · 28/06/2018 10:14

I named my brother but I was a teenager at the time. His name is now quite popular but it wasn't at the time he was born - it's a biblical name that I found in a baby book and loved what it meant. I think siblings should only name new babies when they are old enough to understand what a big responsibility it is.

Mousefunky · 28/06/2018 11:08

My DC want absolutely awful names I wouldn’t dream of using so no, their opinion isn’t being taken into consideration . One name was cuddly for context .

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