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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Baby name regrets?

34 replies

babyonboard22 · 19/06/2018 20:34

Hi,

My second daughter was born almost seven months ago. My husband and I have very different tastes in names and as a result we ended up agreeing to a name we both liked, rather than loved.. we vetoed all of each other's first choices!
He is now happy with her name (I think!) but I can't get used to it. I find myself referring to her as 'the baby' a lot, to avoid saying her name, which I know is ridiculous.

Has anyone else felt this way? What can I do?

Her name is Annabel and I really don't like Annie as a nick name. Belle is ok but again I find it just doesn't come natural to call her that.
I haven't actually talked to my husband about this yet - once I do there is no going back and I thought this feeling would pass as she gets older but so far it hasn't.

Any thoughts? Thank you!

OP posts:

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QueenOfMyWorld · 19/06/2018 20:35

I think you can change a baby name up to being a year old

Drchinnery · 19/06/2018 20:48

Think a nickname should just flow, like something you just automatically say. My friends baby's middle name rose and they call her Rosie as they chose her first name last min and it doesnt really suit her. Could you use her middle name? A lot of people do that

Original poster

babyonboard22 · 19/06/2018 20:51

Thanks QueenOfMyWorld. Yes I heard that's true - but that does feel like a huge decision.
I am just not sure if I want to jump straight to that option given I haven't even mentioned my doubts to anyone.
Has anyone changed their baby's name after so long? I'd be worried about how people will react. Let alone agreeing to a new name with my husband given we couldn't agree the first time :)

OP posts:

TroubledLichen · 19/06/2018 20:52

We have an Annabelle in the family and she’s occasionally called Bells but mostly it’s the full name. Her mother hates Ann/Anna/Annie but even without that she just doesn’t look like one and it wouldn’t be right somehow. Babies also grow into their names, once she’s a toddler with a lot of personality you will probably find it fits better.

Original poster

babyonboard22 · 19/06/2018 21:03

Thanks TroubledLichen and Drchinnery,
I like her middle name, maybe I'll start using it and see what reaction I get. All grandparents made it clear they didn't like her middle name though so that may be another issue!

I am so desperate to find a nick name that I'm probably trying too hard and not letting it flow. And nothing seems to feel right.. not helped by my toddler who gets angry every time I call her sister anything different and says 'Mummy she is called ANNABEL' in a way only toddlers can!

OP posts:

RebeccaWrongDaily · 19/06/2018 21:15

I have a colleague called Annabel, she's nn'ed Bee. Started off as Bel and that was shortened, is Bee/ Bea any good?

YoucancallmeVal · 19/06/2018 21:20

I am from an area where nicknames are almost an art form, they are so random. I grew up with an Annabel and she was various names including Boo and Nell. My own dd answers to umpteen names. I mostly call her lulu or Tallulah, neither of which is in any way similar to her actual name. Does your eldest pronounce her name correctly or does she have a shortening for Annabel?

BunnerRean · 19/06/2018 21:21

I changed my child's name after 10months, and I'd say it took only a couple of months for people to get used to it. We made a very minor change but glad I did-the first just never felt right, somehow!

TroysMammy · 19/06/2018 21:21

As a child I wished I was called a pretty name like Annabelle and not the one I was given.

I couldn't see me as an Annabelle now though.

Why does everyone think they have to have a nickname for perfectly lovely names?

StrawberryCat · 19/06/2018 21:53

Sending you big hugs xxxxx sounds like it's become a burden for you! I think it doesn't help that nowadays there is a pressure to pick 'the perfect name ' or 'the one '. In past generations a name wasn't such a big deal i think.

Any of these help....?
nameberry.com/nametalk/threads/82179-How-many-nicknames-for-Annabelle-Your-favorite

StrawberryCat · 19/06/2018 21:55

Troysmammy - the OP doesn't feel she has to have a nickname, but it might be a way of compromising on a name she's regretting.

Abergatwenty · 19/06/2018 21:59

I know a 17 year old Annabel who is always known as Nell.

I love the name Nell and it suits her perfectly.

Abergatwenty · 19/06/2018 22:00

ALso, I sort of feel that Nell flows more naturally from Annabel than Belle does, because it incorporates the ‘n’s

tacobellislife · 19/06/2018 22:02

No real practical advise to give but my DD is 8 and I still regret her name. She has a bunch of nicknames which I mostly use. I do love the name we gave her but I HATE how popular it is and that's what I regret about it. If your baby is still young enough id change it if your DH agrees obviously.

Original poster

babyonboard22 · 19/06/2018 22:16

Thanks everyone for your helpful suggestions.
I think I'm going to have to raise it with my husband soon and see what he thinks. Maybe he feels the same and is too embarrassed to tell me too!

I particularly like Bee/Bea, and may give that a try. Our last name starts with a B and so I like the alliteration.

Youcancallmeval - my toddler pronounces the name perfectly and actually gets annoyed when I suggest any nicknames :)
StrawberryCat - thanks for the hugs! I think I just needed to talk to someone about it as I am feeling so guilty about it all the time.

OP posts:

PizzaAndChips · 19/06/2018 22:46

I was talking to a lady in a restaurant a few months ago and she had such bad name-regret that she changed her DS's name by deed poll when he was about 5 months old!

See what DH says and take it from there, but if you feel the need to change it, it's probably better to do it now before she really gets to know her name!! A name is for life (mostly!).

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 20/06/2018 10:10

Talk to DH. Even it's just to say it out loud and get it off your chest. Fwiw I like Annabel but agree that Annie isn't great. What about just Anna? I like the suggestion of Bea.. or BB because of your surname?

What other names do you like?

RosieCotton · 20/06/2018 11:04

My sister ended up changing her daughters name. When she was born she named her Gabriella. Which was a beautiful name but she wasnt in love with it. At about 10 months old she changed her name to simply Bella.

If say if you dont like her name then I'd seriously consider changing it. I wish I'd changed my son from Toby to Tobias. I named him and then as he's got older I realise he really should of had a "proper" forename as I feel Toby is a child nickname.

Dottieroses · 20/06/2018 11:14

Annabel is a beautiful name, it's on my list. I know an annabel who is 8 and I've known her since she was born. She is nearly always Annabel, at home and at school. However when she was little, I'd say from baby to 3, they called her A or Miss A, which was really cute, and then as she got bigger her name suited her. What about A or Miss A? 🙂

daisypond · 20/06/2018 11:20

Annabel is a nice name. I like Nell as a short form. Or you could go for Nan or Nancy because Ann/Anne is traditionally shorted to Nan.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 20/06/2018 11:21

Nancy is a lovely suggestion.

Sunrise888 · 20/06/2018 11:22

Talk to your husband. We changed our baby's surname at 6m. I brought it up with my DH at 4m and he was upset, but mostly because I hadn't said anything sooner and I'd been upset without him realising. It was a right pain to get it changed on the birth certificate and expensive (mainly because it was the surname). Look at the regulations in case you do want to change it on the birth certificate and it has to be done within a year.

3DSpex · 20/06/2018 11:25

I know an adult Annabel who is Bette. Not sure how it came about, but that's her name!

Jammycustard · 20/06/2018 11:28

What would you prefer to call her?

I know two people who have changed their child’s name before a year was out. So it is done.

Yika · 20/06/2018 11:32

You could call her BabyBel.

Not sure that changing the name is the best way to go given that your other DD already knows her as Annabel. But if you feel very strongly you should do it rather than regret it your whole life.

How about Betty as a nickname?

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