British name or foreign (Italian) name for dual-nationality child abroad?

[LeeMiller]

Hi all, we're just starting to think about naming our first child. I'm British and DH is Italian, we live in Italy and are planning to stay here. Our baby will have an Italian surname. I would like a middle name (although it's not common here and should probably be short as child will legally have to include it in signature etc, so it will be used more than middle names usually are in the UK). We want a British element to be included in the name somewhere. My name poses problems here (loads of middle names so too long for forms, it's not spelled phonetically, lots of Hs etc) so we'd try to avoid those by choosing familiar/classic British names that are easy for Italians to pronounce.

We have a rough shortlist of names, both British and Italian, but we can't decide how to combine them. Our choices are:

a) British first name and Italian middle name

b) Italian first name and British middle name
c) 'International' first name pronounced the same(ish) in both countries and British middle name

DH prefers an Italian first name as it's easier for the child, whereas I have a common English name and would have loved something foreign and unusual growing up, so favour a British first name.

I'm curious, people bringing up kids outside your home country, what option did you choose and how has it worked out? If you grew up with an obviously foreign-sounding name, did/do you like it?

(Our current shortlist includes James, Joseph, Jude, Max, Cosimo, Amadeo, Leonardo and Lucy, Rose, Rosamund, Rosalind, Charlotte, Eleonora, Clara, Alida, Livia and Lucia - particularly if you're Italian, what's your perception of those names? )

Sorry that was so long!

Thanks! I like how they sound too. Will spend a bit of time repeating them with the surname and different middle names.

I wonder how anyone ever makes the final decision, it's so hard!

Hi. We are in the same situation (Brit mum, Italian dad with a vowel, living in Italy!) We opted for Italian names for a few reasons:

• I didn't want them to have to spell their names every single time.
• I didn't want their names to be continually mispronounced (and my favourites Edith and Arthur sound awful with Italian accents)
• I preferred having an Italian name with an Italian surname.
• Most (but not all) children that I come across with English names (I'm a teacher) have no British link at all and it just sounded cool to the parents - but they tend to be the kids that can't speak English at all and have names like Alan, Nicholas, Maicol....

We mainly chose names that have a British equivalent e.g. Giorgio / George and seeing as I speak to them in English I always actually use their English names as do the British relatives. It just seems natural to do that now. We also have one name that is written the same in both languages e.g. Beatrice but seeing as you can't register a pronunciation no-one can claim that we have chosen either a British or Italian name!

As for middle names, we decided against them as there still seems to be some confusion over whether you have to use them or not. I think the "comma" rule has been eliminated but, as you know, in Italy it is hard to get a straight answer!

One alternative is to include a middle name at baptism (if you are thinking of doing this). That way you get to include another name but not officially iyswim.

Btw I wouldn't get too worked up about names being popular. My daughter has a very common name and yet she still hasn't ever had anyone in her class with the same name. My son has a less popular name and there are three of them!

I am an immigrant and we gave our children names from my home country (foreign to where they are growing up) but 100% pronounceable in both countries.

I wanted them to have a link to their heritage. Its never been an issue since like I said, we made sure that they're easy to pronounce in both languages.

Thanks Nuthatch for your thoughts! You sound like my twin, my favourites also include Edith and Arthur, but definitely NOT the Italian pronuncation!

Yes, my DH made the same argument about Italians using British names - no-one would assume a link with his/her identity anyway, and often the names chosen here are a bit tacky/trendy/random and therefore not seen as especially classy, though I think it depends on the name.

Also very true that you can never predict how the popular names thing will shake out in real life! Though I think if you're named, for example, Francesco, then you can be confident that you'll know several more. A major reason for avoiding the current most common names for me is that as a teacher I know lots of little Giulias/Saras/Lorenzos etc and I'd prefer names that I don't already associate with a specific child or children. Adult associations don't bother me so much unless they're very negative.

Do your DC like having two different pronunciations? My nephew doesn't, which has put me off that strategy. But that could easily just be a phase he'll grow out of. I guess there's no guarantee they'll like the names you pick either way!

I'm not sure we'd go for baptism so I think we'll include a middle name. To comma or not to comma is the question now!

Thanks Lionall. Heritage is important for me too, I'm leaning more towards a British middle name now but I definitely feel I need something from my culture in there somewhere. And easy to pronounce is key... I have plenty of experience of Italians butchering my non-phonetically spelled name to appreciate that!

Dh is British, and I am European, and we chose "international names" that are pronounced similar in Spanish and English

The sort of names we liked were
Michael
Gabriel
Rafael
Matteo
Leon

Anna
Sofia
Annika
Valentina
Erica

Do your DC like having two different pronunciations?
Well, they've never complained about it! It feels more natural to us to use the English name when we are talking in English. At school, DS gets called by his surname anyway to avoid confusion and his friends often use it too - which I think is a bit weird but he is cool with it.

wonder how anyone ever makes the final decision, it's so hard!

You meet the baby.

Ludovico is nice, as is Alessandro. Matteo and Enzo are both simple to pronounce.

For a girl, I like Livia (I know a half-Italian one in the U.K. and I don’t think anyone confuses it with Olivia), Lidia, Valentina and Melissa.

I feel your pain at finding a name that suits both families, we struggled too for our DC. We live in a country where foreign names are not accepted, and local ones often sound very odd to British ears!

I'm a supply teacher. If you or your children are intending to come back/come tot he UK I doubt Italian names would be a problem.

I've learned to say before I take a register to correct me and I have got quite good at guessing eastern European names which seem to have a lot of extra (to me) 'z' and 'k' letters.

I also knew two children called Angel, who were 'Angel' in the UK and 'Ang-hill' in their parent's country.

OP

What you are forgetting is that some children pop out and look like a name.

At school, DS gets called by his surname anyway to avoid confusion and his friends often use it too
I guess this shows how little control you really have over nn etc after all the agonising!

You meet the baby.
People here seem to announce names when they're barely pregnant, but certainly as soon as they know the sex! I think I'll try to keep quiet until after the birth though in case I change my mind, and hope DH's family don't go too crazy waiting!

People in the U.K. are very tolerant and open-minded about names, which is not the case in many countries, including the one where I live. Life is much easier in that case if you have a name that is recognisable and that people can pronounce easily. For that reason, if I were you I would choose an Italian name as you are living in Italy, but one that can be shortened to something international if necessary eg Ludovico/Ludo, Gustavo/Gus, Antonella/Ella ...

What you are forgetting is that some children pop out and look like a name

Not forgetting so much as lack of experience naming a person. Also I'm trying to remind myself that I'm naming an adult not just a cute little bundle!

You're right, the UK is pretty diverse and people can usually cope with lots of different names, or find a shorter version they can say, though there are a few Italian names that people struggle to say or spell.

Thanks everyone, you've really helped me think through my ideas and priorities in terms of naming a dual-nationality child (even though you've basically talked me round to DH's position! ). Much appreciated.