British name or foreign (Italian) name for dual-nationality child abroad?

[LeeMiller]

Hi all, we're just starting to think about naming our first child. I'm British and DH is Italian, we live in Italy and are planning to stay here. Our baby will have an Italian surname. I would like a middle name (although it's not common here and should probably be short as child will legally have to include it in signature etc, so it will be used more than middle names usually are in the UK). We want a British element to be included in the name somewhere. My name poses problems here (loads of middle names so too long for forms, it's not spelled phonetically, lots of Hs etc) so we'd try to avoid those by choosing familiar/classic British names that are easy for Italians to pronounce.

We have a rough shortlist of names, both British and Italian, but we can't decide how to combine them. Our choices are:

a) British first name and Italian middle name

b) Italian first name and British middle name
c) 'International' first name pronounced the same(ish) in both countries and British middle name

DH prefers an Italian first name as it's easier for the child, whereas I have a common English name and would have loved something foreign and unusual growing up, so favour a British first name.

I'm curious, people bringing up kids outside your home country, what option did you choose and how has it worked out? If you grew up with an obviously foreign-sounding name, did/do you like it?

(Our current shortlist includes James, Joseph, Jude, Max, Cosimo, Amadeo, Leonardo and Lucy, Rose, Rosamund, Rosalind, Charlotte, Eleonora, Clara, Alida, Livia and Lucia - particularly if you're Italian, what's your perception of those names? )

Sorry that was so long!

Thanks user those are wise rules, there's so many things to take into account. Few names have the same pronunciation, I might cross Leonardo off my list for that reason actually. :-(

Can I be cheeky and ask as an Italian what you think of the names I mentioned in my post? Especially if any sound truly hideous! It's so hard to understand the cultural connotations and perceptions of names, and I'm afraid to ask people in real life in case they tell me they hate something and I end up using it anyway, so I'm basically relying on my DH's taste!

How about

Rebecca
Francesca
Martina
Marta
Luca
Giulia
Tessa
Max
Davide
Antonio
Francesco/Franco
Maria
Sofia
Clara
Sara

@Sgtmajormummy's names are lovely but you know Beatrice and Laura will be pronounced differently by Italian/English people. Doesn't matter unless it matters to you, though.

Stmajor that's outrageous! I will make sure DH goes with a copy of the rules!

I like all your names, especially Silvia, but I'm not so keen on the way Laura and Beatrice sound different in each country. DH has vetoed Isabella ("Isabrutta") and Silvia, I know too many Emmas. I don't like Nora and Ella is a close relative so not sure about Eleonora for those reasons, though it's one of my favourites, so elegant. I like Alida (after Alida Valli) but not Ali, and worry that Clara and Lucia are a bit old-ladyish here, and not in a good way.

Thanks Seamus. My favourites from your list are Clara and Max. I Love love love Francesco and Francesca but they are ridiculously popular here, same with Sofia, and I always hated having a super common name.

For me Laura and Beatrice sound too different in English and Italian, also Iris which I think is pretty. My favourite Italian boy's name is Cesare but I know my British family would butcher it!

I do understand the associations OP! I could never give my DD the name Elena because every Elena I've ever met has been a total shit. Ditto Isabella.

Cosimo for Florence would be perfect . We're a bit further up north and the connotations are a bit different. My DD has a Tuscan name, so far I've not met another child with the same name, although I heard one with the diminutive version the other day.

Rebecca is nice and sounds the same. There have been lots of Emmas lately (DD had 3 in her class at primary) and for some reason Lavinias as well (which always remind me of pot pourri). If you want to avoid really common, as in you call them at the park and 20 children turn around, avoid Giulia and Sara. Sooo bloody common and unimaginative. For the boys you've already binned Luca/Lorenzo/Francesco but there are a lot of Alessios and Matteos around as well. It seems that a lot of Italians feel safer giving their child a name that everyone else has, as if they have no desire for individuality. I've never really understood it.

Yes, there does seem to be a lot of repetition, which is a shame when there are so many gorgeous Italian names (I've spotted some lovely unusual names on funeral notices, so they're not current!). I teach endless Chiaras too, and every baby I know born this year is called Pietro. I definitely find it a bit sheep-like.

I don't want my child to get picked on for a weird name but I'd like something a little less common.

We are going for an Irish first name and a Polish middle name whilst living in England! We’ve decided the kid can have fun with spelling it out! Both are short names though and the Irish name is fairly well known :)

OP I’m British living in France and I want my children to have names that are recognisably British rather than French, but which are easy for French people to pronounce.

I like Cosimo so much I’d also go with Cosima for a girl.

Or Rafaela.

Italian in the UK with a British DH here. Have a boy and two girls and have chosen British/international first names and Italian middle names for all 3. Italian names are often tricky to pronounce here (my Mum kept suggesting Ludovico, ha). And the 'dual' ones like Beatrice or Laura pose pronunciation issues.

Whatever you choose, you MUST have a name sorted weeks in advance. Italians will look at you like you have 2 heads if you say you're waiting until after the birth to pick a name and I speak from bitter experience.

Oh and I think most of your names are lovely - but Rosamund might get sniffed at, and the correct spelling is 'Amedeo'.

I went to school with a guy whose dad was Italian. His parents named him Alan. Wtf? All the gorgeous Italian names they could have picked and they chose Alan??

Personally I'd choose an awesome Italian name and would avoid anything boring but practical. I'm clearly in the minority!

Tatiana, I like Cosima too but DH (who suggested Cosimo as a classic, elegant Tuscan name) said it evokes "an old southern woman with no teeth and a dirty apron"! Not exactly what Nigella had in mind, I imagine! I don't know if that's a regional or national connotation, but I know lots of Italian names favoured by Brits (including me) are the equivalent if Ethel or Doris for Italians.

Willsurvive thanks for the advice, I've noticed that people announce names (and pregnancy news) super early! I adore Rosamund but I feared it might be a bit much, even for a middle name.

Fatniss that's hilarious, it's like all the Italians naming their sons Kevin (no. 50 in the rankings for 2016!)

Thetimehascome I think my desire for a glamorous foreign name comes from 2 girls with Irish names at school, there are some gorgeous ones, and lots are relatively familiar to Brits.

LoveinTokyo is your DP British too? I definitely want at least a middle name that's recognisably British included in the name.

No, he is French. They will have his surname, we live in France and I have to give birth to them, so giving them British names doesn’t seem so unreasonable.

LoveinTokyo very reasonable indeed! DH said he will go with a British first name if I choose for those very reasons.

I like all your name stuff btw but can’t comment on how they will be perceived in Italy.

Clara is my favourite from your list. I also like Anna and Rosa which you seem to have discounted. Have you thought about Maria, Ida or Helena? (Off the top of my head.)

Ida and Elena are close friends, Italians don't really pronounce H so Helena becomes Elena. I think Maria is a bit catholic for me. I do like Clara and also Rosa, but DH likes Rose more. Rosa is considered quite old ladyish where we are, I think.

My friend is called Silvana which works well in English. I think it's beautiful.

Another acquaintance is called Elisa, which is also beautiful. There are lots of beautiful Italian names.

Thanks sakura. DH has rejected silvia/silvana due to associating them with Silvio and Berlusconi, but Elisa is very pretty.

I know some Anglo-French sisters who live in Italy. When faced with a very similar situation, their parents named them Anna, Gabriella and Stella. Their brother is Marco.

I'm Western European, DP British, we live in the UK. I was adamant even before I was pregnant name needed to be pronounceable by both sides of the family. So DD has an international name (already mentioned above). She also has two middle names, one after DP's grandmother and one after my great-grandfather&mother.

There are lots of lovely names which work in Italy and UK. I'd say most Italian names work in the UK to be honest, you might struggle more with very British names. Agreed re Eleonora, it's stunning.

Charlotte works well internationally, and Emma is very British, short and easy to write so might be good for a middle name.

I love Clara, but might avoid it because it's not said the same way everywhere in the UK (Clair-a vs clarah)