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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Isabella renamed Isabel by older aunt

69 replies

mummananna · 06/04/2018 00:41

My granddaughter who I have under Special Guardianship, so is in effect my daughter, is called Isabella. Although popular it is a pretty name but we tend to call her Bella although we know she wants to be called Izzy (which we had tried to avoid!) The thing is an older relative (great aunt on my partner's side) keeps calling her Isabel and today on a family visit presented her with a table mat with Isabel on it which she bought from the gift shop at a farm we visited today. I am feeling very sensitive about this as my gd is sensitive but has learned to be polite and not say anything. Now she has a table mat (which she doesn't have to use and probably won't) with the wrong name on it! She had to pretend to be pleased with the present and not therefore be honest. Throughout the evening I referred to my gd as Bella and then tried saying pointedly Isabella. I don't know if she got the message but am hoping she did! As no child likes to be called the wrong name! Do you think I am being too sensitive?

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PopcornDawn · 06/04/2018 00:46

Well I think you're being unfair to criticise your relative for using the wrong name, especially as you've said yourself your gd wants to be known as Izzy but you call her Bella.

CrazyOldBagLady · 06/04/2018 00:49

Did you visit the gift shop with the aunt? Did you not tell her it had the wrong name on it? Why are you using the wrong shortening instead of the one your (grand) daughter prefers? Sorry for all the questions but it all sounds a bit odd.

JustPutSomeGlitterOnIt · 06/04/2018 00:52

Although popular it is a pretty name but we tend to call her Bella although we know she wants to be called Izzy (which we had tried to avoid!)

Why have you tried to avoid Izzy?

As no child likes to be called the wrong name!

... But you doing Bella/Izzy is... fine?

Just don't use the placemat.

bridgetreilly · 06/04/2018 00:52

Stop with the 'hints' and say it like a grown-up: "Her name is not Isabel, it's Isabella."

JustPutSomeGlitterOnIt · 06/04/2018 00:53

This is weird.

blueskypink · 06/04/2018 00:55

As no child likes to be called the wrong name! Do you think I am being too sensitive?

Does it actually bother your gd? I have one of those names that can be spelled in various ways and there's a similar name which used to be more common decades ago. Older people used to quite often call me by the similar name when I was growing up. Didn't bother me in the slightest!!! Not one teeny bit. And I'm quite a touchy person!

So yes, I do think you are being too sensitive. Just lose the table mat and don't give it another thought.

crimsonlake · 06/04/2018 00:56

Am I missing something here, you admit yourself you call her by a name which is not her favourite?

RebelRogue · 06/04/2018 00:58

So you're annoyed that the relative calls her something that is not her name while calling her something that is not her name and she would rather be called something that is not her name either?

PrincessHairyMclary · 06/04/2018 01:05

Did she purposefully buy the placemat with the wrong name or did she simply want to buy her a gift and that was the closest spelling. My DD has an unusual spelling and if she wants personalised items has to get an alternative spellings no it's not the end of the world.
Children will get called all sorts of things throughout their lives, different shortenings and nicknames once they are at school I really don't see the problem. There are about eight different spellings for Isabella/ Isabel and if you are going to get hung up on it it's going to be a long battle everytime someone spells it wrong in birthday cards etc as she gets to school.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 06/04/2018 07:00

If your daughter wants to be called Izzy, and you are aware of this, then you're as bad as the Aunt, how unfair.
Also teach her to be less accepting of anything she feels uncomfortable with, to be quietly confident, and to politely challenge unusual events.
Sitting there saying nothing to please everyone, will get her nowhere in life.
Very odd thread.

strawberrypenguin · 06/04/2018 07:08

1 - I'd have said got your gd to say - thank you but my name Isabella. It's not rude to tell someone they are calling you the wrong name.

2 - you are doing the same thing. She wants to be Izzy but you're choosing for her and insisting on Bella.

You don't say how old she is but my 6yo gets very upset if we use the full version on his name and has done for years. You should respect her wishes too, Izzy is a perfectly normal shortening.

SavoyCabbage · 06/04/2018 07:14

How old is she? I agree with Sugar. Being polite is one thing but it would have been ok for you or her to point out her name isn’t Isabel.

FrancisCrawford · 06/04/2018 07:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hannah1992 · 06/04/2018 07:22

My dd is called Isabella too. The only person that calls her this is me. She has various names that family call her including, Izzy, Bella, bell, iz, and my mums tizzy toes. Doesn’t bother me at all. She’s 2 and when she’s older I fully expect her to express if she doesn’t want people to call her whichever and I expect the person to respect that.

My older dd is lilie. My mum called her lil pops from the day she was born. She 7 now and a while ago she said to my mum please call me lilie lil pops makes me sound like a baby. From that day she’s been lilie.

Asking people to call you the right name or however you choose to shorten it is not rude

Awrite · 06/04/2018 07:27

Please call her Izzy.

And being assertive is no bad thing. Girls are taught too much to override their own feelings to be polite.

PopcornDawn · 06/04/2018 07:30

OP
Do you agree with all of us who are saying you're doing exactly the same thing as the Aunt, using a name your gd doesn't want to be known as?

Why did you start this thread then disappear?

GruffaloPants · 06/04/2018 07:53

She sounds like a lovely polite girl.
Why give her a different nickname to what she prefers? Seems odd and rude.
Just tell the aged relative "you do know it is Isabella, with an 'a'?". Though maybe "Isabel" is her imposed nickname.....

BedtimeTea · 06/04/2018 07:54

Ignore the aunt.

I would call your gdd Isabella. But not Bella since she doesn't like it.

NerrSnerr · 06/04/2018 08:34

What's wrong with Izzy? Of course the Aunt should use her real name, but you should call her the nickname she has chosen.

Ladywillpower · 06/04/2018 09:24

Yes I think you are being too sensitive if you know that she would like to be called Izzy but persist in calling her Bella!

Original poster

mummananna · 06/04/2018 10:07

Hi, sorry to appear rude by not responding earlier. It was very late when I posted and I did go to bed soon after. This morning, I tried to post on my phone but my comments got lost. First of all, I do appreciate the varied responses and points of view. I was not with my sister in law, Isabella's great aunt as she went off to buy presents on her own for her grandchildren. No, it was a one off family outing so we have not visited the gift shop before with her. My gd is 8 and has only recently started to think of changing her nickname to Izzy but has said she will wait for the proper changeover until she gets to secondary school so I do tend to call her Isabella as Izzy is hard to get used to and she knows that. I appreciate the reply that it would be good to teach her to be politely honest rather than polite and I will work on this, thank you as it extends to other matters. And I'm sorry that my post came across as weird - it was just what I was feeling and sensitive to my gd's feelings but she is ok anyway this morning. And I realise that there is a large variation on the name Isabella and its shortened versions. So many points of view - thank you for all!

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SleepingStandingUp · 06/04/2018 10:13

My gd is 8 and has only recently started to think of changing her nickname to Izzy but has said she will wait for the proper changeover until she gets to secondary school so I do tend to call her Isabella as Izzy is hard to get used to and she knows that.

Honestly the oddest conversation I've ever heard about nicknames. She's going to wait 3 years to be called a name she likes because you don't like it.

lou1221 · 06/04/2018 10:18

She's 8, so year 3/4, that's a long time for her to be labelled with a name that she wants to alter. Her full name will always be on the class register, she can choose what she would like to be called by. I work in a school, if my pupils ask to be called by a shortened version, then of course I'll call them by that.

Original poster

mummananna · 06/04/2018 10:27

Thank you everyone for your varied responses. It was late so I did go to bed after posting. Did not mean to disappear.

I do most of the time call my gd by her full name as she has said she will wait for the new shortened version untll she gets to secondary school. So we are changing over and she is ok about that as we have called her Bella since she was 15 months old. And she was always happy with her name.

OP posts:

Original poster

mummananna · 06/04/2018 10:31

Hi, it was her idea to wait until she gets to secondary school. She is called Isabella by teachers but obviously her friends find shortened versions! I am fine with the change.

OP posts:

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