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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Made the mistake of telling people what name we like...!

127 replies

Nixen · 21/03/2018 07:17

My DH and I both love the name Felicity.

I’ve struggled a bit emotionally with this pregnancy anyway as we had a loss last year and my family are not respecting my wishes not to shout the news from the bloody roof tops. I get that they are excited and that is lovely, but I feel very uncomfortable about the contents of my uterus being discussed with everyone they meet.

I made the mistake of telling my mum we liked the name Felicity and she has said ‘if it’s girl I’d like you to reconsider your name... kids can be cruel blah blah blah’ and some other shit about how when people asked her what names we were thinking and she said Felicity they were like ‘oh’ rather than ‘that’s lovely’ ... like I should give a shit what some random person from her work thinks?

It has really really upset me and I now don’t want to discuss anything to do with names with her. She keeps suggesting other girls names and it’s really getting to me. I was so upset by what she said and it’s making me feel dreadful thinking when baby comes she will hate the name - oh and she says my dad and brother don’t like it either

(the boys name we told her is a family name which everyone is happy with... but we actually know we are having a girl - she doesn’t yet!)

I know it’s DH and my choice, but it’s making me feel shitty and just adding to me really not wanting to discuss my pregnancy with her full stop. Any advice?

OP posts:

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Luckingfovely · 21/03/2018 08:10

Just say no.

No, I am not discussing it with you again.

No, it is our decision.

No, I do not want to hear your opinions.

No, you should not be discussing it at work.

No. No. No.

notacooldad · 21/03/2018 08:20

Oh god, we had this from my parents 20 odd years ago.
I mentioned that if we had a boy we may call him George. My mothers response was oh, you can't call him that , they All will say Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie.
If I said We are thinking of calling him Jack she would say, oh you can't call him Jack, they wil All say..... etc.
( there was a big emphasis on the All, as if the whole world would mock the name)

I just snapped and said who are all these people and why will they say these things.
DS needed up having close friends through school called George, Jack and all the other names we consideredand guess what? Nobody said any of the things mum predicted!

We never said a with DS 2 until after he was born. It made life easier.

crazymumofthree · 21/03/2018 08:22

My mum hates our first sons name, Theodore (Theo/teddy for short) of course we ignored her and I still think it's a gorgeous name!

ForkIt · 21/03/2018 08:23

‘Change your mind’, each pregnancy I gave my mum a name to stress her for the duration... then changed my mind at delivery. Each time she was very pleased with the name she’s initially hated

GayAllen · 21/03/2018 08:32

I can’t believe how awful people can be and I can’t believe how patient some of you are in the face of such rudeness.

I could have told my mum we were planning to call the baby Lucifer or Adolf and she’d have said something like “Ooh different!” or “Oh! Yes! I like that! It’s due a comeback!”

I miss my mum.

AnyaMoondial · 21/03/2018 08:34

Felicity is a fab name op. Congratulations on your pregnancy.

lovechocolatetoomuch · 21/03/2018 08:36

I can’t see anything wrong with Felicity at all! People are so strange

BiologyMatters · 21/03/2018 08:40

Find a really awful name that she will hate more and swear blind that that will be the name. By the time little Felicity arrives your mum will be grateful that she's got a nice name.

MrsMozart · 21/03/2018 08:40

A beautiful name.

Your daughter. Your choice.

RoryHatesCoffee · 21/03/2018 08:43

Bloody hell if people think the name Felicity is unusual they'd be baffled at my DCs name.

Since when is Felicity anything other than a classic, lovely name?

Personally I love it OP. Your mum was beyond rude. Even if you told her your choices (bad move!) what the hell is she doing telling her friends

Mermaid36 · 21/03/2018 08:47

One of my girl/girl twins is Felicity
Her nicknames are Fliss and Fifi (Fifi is because her sister couldn't manage Felicity at first)

GreatThingsWork · 21/03/2018 08:47

I love Felicity. I have a niece and a lovely friend with that name.

Original poster

Nixen · 21/03/2018 09:13

You’ve all made me feel a lot better, thank you! Both for the lovely comments about the name (reassures me I’m not an idiot and it IS a lovely name) and for giving me ‘permission’ to say no and stand up for myself a bit!

OP posts:

jess91 · 21/03/2018 09:17

Sorry you're going through this, OP! I'm in a similar situation right now except the comments came after my daughter was born.

We hadn't discussed names with anybody, only saying that we were taking our final few choices to the hospital and deciding when she was born. When we announced her name, my MIL asked what the other name was and said it would have been a better choice. She said the name we chose is "common", she knows of two children born recently with this name and is shocked that I went with it seeing as I work with children. I have never me a child with either three of the names we strongly considered for our daughter.

Coincidentally, the middle name we'd chosen for our daughter is Felicity. Unlike your mum, my MIL loves it and wants us to use it as our daughter's first name instead. She is also insisting that she will call her Flick for short (with or without the name change) I know that you love Felicity so I don't want to offend you (or anybody else) but I'm not a fan of the nickname Flick (or many of Felicity's shortened forms) We already decided that we wouldn't use it as a first name because of that reason.

Sorry to hijack your thread with auxin a long post but I just wanted to say that you're not alone. We've been left with a bad taste in our mouths over the comments and have debated changing her name to one of our other options, putting her first name as a middle and eliminating the opportunity of Flick being used. Our poor baby is weeks old and doesn't currently have a set name.

It's quite hypocritical for me to say but you should stick with Felicity if you love it and no other name lives up to it. Your family has time to come around to the name if you're firm about it now. If you don't mind them using nicknames then maybe you could suggest that they can use one to address her instead as a 'compromise'? Not that you should have to compromise at all but it might be enough to get them off your backs. We're going to say the same to MIL if we do stick with our original choice.

bridgetreilly · 21/03/2018 10:20

Felicity is gorgeous! Stick to your guns, OP!

Freezingheart · 21/03/2018 10:22

I like it! Everyone it feels like has a negative opinion about names before the baby comes, then afterwards they’ll tell you it’s perfect.

Nobody liked our dd name when we shared it. No I get told repeatedly what a great choice it is.

Go for it! I know a Felicity and she’s lovely.

Notso · 21/03/2018 11:21

I preferred to know my families true thoughts on my children's names. It helped me know how strongly I felt about the names. I'd rather know their thoughts and that are not discussing my baby's name behind my back.

panetonnebraxton · 21/03/2018 11:31

I understand there's probably a whole complicated background behind your relationship with your mum here, but just try to step back a bit. It doesn't matter what she thinks. It really doesn't matter. It's your baby. Just ignore her.

LoislovesStewie · 21/03/2018 11:36

It's a lovely name, it sounds classy, will never go out of fashion and goes with lots of other names. I mean second names, Anne, Jayne, Marie, etc. Ignore them!

FartnissEverbeans · 21/03/2018 15:48

My family HATED the (unusual but short, easy to pronouce/spell, classic) name that we chose. They only strengthened my resolve to use it!

Nobody even mentions it now - it's just his name.

Felicity is gorgeous and I don't see any teasing potential in it so I don't know what your mum is on about.

PasstheStarmix · 21/03/2018 15:51

What a beautiful name OP. I made the rule of telling nobody what we were going to call ds. I said we had afew names in mind but nothing solid even when we had the name. Everybody I know is far too judgemental and any name I said would have been ripped to shreds. I just announced ds’s name with his first pic ‘Meet....’

DairyisClosed · 21/03/2018 15:51

Felicity is a completely normal name. No potential for teasing.

Hurricanelily · 21/03/2018 16:19

Felicity is a great name! I love the nickname, Lissie. Go with your choice and don’t worry about your mum’s opinion. It’s your baby.

Chienrouge · 21/03/2018 16:21

I have a 4 year old felicity. We’ve never had anything but positive comments about her name. Not that I’d have cared anyway, I love it and that’s all that matters . She loves her name too BTW.
Congratulations!

ILookedintheWater · 21/03/2018 16:23

You're naming your child 'happiness'. How bloody lovely.

I have a lovely friend with three lovely daughters and her youngest is a 'Fliss' for short. It's a gorgeous name.

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