Same baby name as a friend?!

[Sunflower00devon]

Hi, I was hoping someone would be able to give me some advice / their opinion.

My husband and I are expecting a baby girl any day. We were due 2 weeks ahead of my husbands childhood friend.

My husband and I have had a name for our baby since about the 20 week scan but we decided to keep it secret to avoid family /friend opinions.

We are now 3 days overdue and my husbands friends wife was induced 2 weeks early and we have just found out that they have choosen the same baby name as us - but they have named their baby first.

We dont see them that frequently (couple of times a year). We still want to keep our name but dont want to cause any bad feeling or look as though we have copied / stolen their name. Its not an unusual name. Its in the top 100. Im disappointed that they have chosen the same name but i think its just one of those things.

I would be really grateful of others views on this.

Many thanks

It’s really fine, people choose the same names. I’ve had something similar happen to me recently and I didn’t think any less of the other parents.

There's no issue. Call your baby the name you picked.

I would tell them with your message of congratulations.

Just say wow what a coincidence, we’ve chosen that beautiful name too etc etc.

I don't tthink it really matters if you still really want to use the name. But if it was me, I would question if I still want to use what is essentially a commonly used name.
Do you want her to have more of her name in the same class, clubs, etc? If that doesn't matter, then go for it.
But at the same time, there's so many names to chose from, why not so for something more unique?
I chose something common for my second but not common for his age. So it was rcogniseable but none in his class.

I would message them your congratulations and say something like “oh and we obviously all have very good taste in baby names as that’s what we’ll be calling our little one! Don’t tell anyone though, we’ve managed to keep it a secret for months! Can’t wait for our babies to meet etc etc”

I wouldn’t use it personally, but there is nothing wrong with using it now.

It's completely fine. Imagine if it was the other way round, you wouldn't begrudge your friends choosing the name they love.

Numbsnet the name is in the top 100 - it's not exactly hugely common.

It’s fine but I’d tell them you had planned to use the same name

I wouldn’t use it. There are thousands beautiful of names to choose from, to identify YOUR dd.

I have done this and I have had it done to me. Both fine. And actually our DC with the same name have only met each other once in their eight years of life so we did the right thing!

Unless you have a back up name gonfor it. Just drop them a message along the line of ‘great minds think alike, we were planning on calling the Baby Gertrude* as well.’

• name changed to protect the innocent.

Of course it’s ‘fine’ but would you want your dd to be known as X surname or big X, or can you find another name you love?

Thank you all for your comments. It really helps. It has made my husband and I feel better about the whole situation. Its the only name so far that we have both really liked. I have not used the name as I was worried I may go off it as I tend to do that! We picked a fairly unsual name for my son and people were really quick to pass on their opinions which did make me doubt the name we had chosen. I am so glad we stuck with his name though as it really suits him. Also another reason why we kept this name a secret.

Thanks again for all your opinions and comments xxx

Yes I'd use it still. I'd also add it to the congratulations so it doesn't look like you're copying. "Congratulations! You have great taste in names, it's the one we've chosen too' etc.

My sisters friend named her ds the same as mine 10 weeks after I’d had him. Was a bit as she was going to call him something else until she heard ds’s name but it doesn’t matter in the long run.

if you want them to feel you've no imagination (rightly or wrongly that's what they'll believe) then use the name anyway. I agree, a message of ''congratulations that is such a coincidence'' is the way to break it to them. They will think you've copied them though. Can you live with that?

what's the name?

They will think you've copied them though.

I'm not sure. Someone from my antenatal class had her DD a few weeks after me and went with the same not too common name (with a similar message to me). I took it at face value.

The thing is whether they think you've copied them or not, it's far less important than your child's name. If you love the name you've chosen then you should stick with it.

Totally fine. We changed our minds about ds’s name in the same circumstances and shouldn’t have.

My parents had the same problem. They had friends with Samantha born a couple months before me. So my parents went with a name my dad thought he made up. I was mercilessly bullied for my weird name during primary school. So I changed my first name to my middle name (which everyone already called me by) as soon as I could!! I could have been a good Samantha though!!

Oh! And I never saw their Samantha after the age of about four... the families just drifted apart.

If it's the only name you like just do it. It's an important decision and you cant allow it to be dictated by a friend you see twice a year.

Congrats.

You can call your baby whatever you choose and if this is your preferred name then that’s 100% fine. I always think it’s a compliment that it’s obvs such a lovely name. And who cares if there are 3 or 4 (jnsert name here) in class. Teachers have ways of navigating around this age old occurrence. It’s nothing new. Congrats on your impending arrival. Enjoy her!

as its not an unusual name, don't think its a problem at all. Even if they thought you had copied them, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Let them know when you congratulate them.