Upset by MILs response

[accidentalgrownup]

So with DC1 we didn't tell anyone our name thoughts as we didn't want their opinion.

Unfortunately we've just been to MILs & DC1 let slip my favourite name for DC2 - Sebastian. Que her saying 'you can't call him THAT... people at school will nickname him bastard'

Erm... no, no they won't, fuming!!! Now she's put DH off no doubt. Can't believe she said it in front of DC either. She's not my favourite person at the best of times but today it's really riled me tbh.

Just wanted to rant!!!! Arrgghhh!!!!

What the actual hell...?
Sebastian is a lovely name. If anything it would be 'Seb' or I had a friend who had a child nicknamed him 'sebby'.
I refuse to let anyone shorten my ds name.
Don't listen or let her get to you.

Sebastian is a lovely name! What a load of bollocks that he'll be called bastard . There would be a lot of 'bastards' about, in that case, as it's a very classic name.

Hope your DH ignores her. Silly comment from her.

Why would they call him bastard? She's really overstepped the mark btw. What a cow.

There must have been a comic or something-I remember my father saying "He's called Sabastian- and a right little Seb-arr-stian he was too"

Can't remember any other context- but maybe your mil remembers that too? But I would bet that it's only her and my dad-and my dad's dead!

Thanks for your replies... thought maybe I might be getting a bit over emotional but obviously not.

Can't talk to DH about it yet we're in the car with DC. At least we don't see MIL very often is all I can say!

Ugh! It's a lovely name OP, don't let her put you off!

If your DH so much as HINTS that he's gone off the name thanks to MIL I would hit the roof. Sebastian is lovely. Don't see MIL again until Sebastian is 8.

So if someone sees what they think of as a problem with a name they keep quiet about it? Or does that just apply to mils?

Maybe she knows someone it happened to? Did you ask her why she thought it might happen?

Don't let her put you off. MIL said the same about shit things about our DC's names too. They're opinion is irrelevant. Sorry MIL's!

*THEIR

So if someone sees what they think of as a problem with a name they keep quiet about it?

Yes, of course that's what you do! It's the op's favourite name for her new baby. Different if she wasn't sure about a name and asked for opinions. If someone said their favourite name for their baby irl, I would never say anything negative about it, (unless there was a serious and obvious issue with the name that the parents didn't know about). So rude.

Personally Bert I wouldn't be horrible about a name if I knew someone liked it DIL or friend.

I also wouldn't use the word bastard in front of a child.

If someone said their favourite name for their baby irl, I would never say anything negative about it

Yeah, I honestly think you'd have to have some sort of social issue to not realise this.

I agree in general. But if you genuinely thought the parents had missed something?

For example, a friend of mine wanted to call her dd Minnie, not knowing that in this area it is a very commonly used word for a little girl's genitals. Do you all think I shouldn't have told her that?

My DN is called Sebastian, I think it's a beautiful name.

Tell her you have changed your mind and you have decided to call him Dick.

See what she comes up with then.

We also know a Tarzan and a Batman.

Family is always so opinionated ! It's a lovely name. We're intending on giving our baby a "foreign" name as my bf is not British. Thought my mum was gonna keel over lolz (but bless her, she's lovely)

Bert

It would need to be a pretty serious and obvious issue for me to comment. I've never heard of Minnie to describe genitals, so I can't really comment on that one, but if it's really commonly used in that context then I might have said something.

On the other hand, Millie means female 'chav' (horrible words sorry), where I come from, but I still know at least one woman named Millie from there. Afaik nobody mentions it and if a friend from home was going to name their daughter Millie, I wouldn't comment on that, no.

I too have this problem, ive found people to be very rude when you tell them the names you like, im certain people would not be so rude and opinionated once the baby is here and has already been named.
This being the reason we have stopped telling people our short list names. Don't ask "have you got any names yet" if you are going to be rude about the answer.

Ps I love the name Sebastian, it is up there on our list too x

Poor you OP. I think it's a really lovely name but ffs it's no one else's business!

We are preempting this with my MIL & telling her the name soon -I'm 27 weeks- so we don't get responses when she's here which upset me more as I'm knackered / hormonal.

Wish people would just be polite though and keep their unwanted opinions to themselves.

Wonderful name, always makes me think of

Tell her very firmly- pity you don't like it, as that will definitely be our baby's name! And refuse to discuss the matter again (change subject if needs be).

My mil begged my husband and I not to use a particular name for our son, sent dil to our house again on her behalf to say how upset she would be if we used it.

It made me realise how much I loved the name and knew I'd regret it if I pandered to her. Ds was born, we used the name and she's never mentioned it. And it's made me much more confident that I don't need to do everything she says just to please her (nothing pleases her anyway) but things are alot easier now. It's your baby, your choice and in the long run it doesn't matter if she hates their name!

I taught a lovely boy with this name, I think its classic and timeless, if you called him bob kids would nickname him, so that's a battle tour not going to win. Good luck stick to your guns I did.