Baby name 'regret' - 6 months old

[CyrilSneer30]

Hi all,

I have a gorgeous 6 month old called Caspar Felix. During the entire pregnancy he was going to be named Felix Caspar, but as he arrived on Christmas Day we decided to swap the names. Ever since, I've been unsure on his name - I hate the looks and the 'that's...unusual!' comments I get whenever I introduce him, and I wish so much I'd stuck with what I wanted when he was born and called him Felix. Honestly, I think I'm holding a massive grudge against DH for forcing me to decide on his name when I was clearly not in a state to do so (EMCS) and also felt a bit railroaded as I was aware that quite a few members of my family disliked the name Felix. Thinking back to the few days post birth I was in such a daze, I just went along with what other people wanted.

I do like the name Caspar, and think if I already had a Felix I would be happy to use it for another son IYSWIM? I'm just worried I'm becoming a bit obsessive about it. DH won't even entertain changing his name now. I guess I just wanted to ask - which do you all prefer? I'm not sure whether I want to keep making a fuss to make DH consider changing it, asby 6 months I feel that it is now his name and not mine to change.

Huge apologies for the rambling post, I just feel a bit dismissed every time I mention this to anyone IRL but to me it's important and I think about it most days. Help!

I work in a primary school and have NEVER heard anyone get teased about their name. It just does not happen any more - I remember it happening when I was at primary school but there is such a huge variety of names now that nothing seems weird! There's a Caspar in the class I work in. He's gorgeous.

Caspar is a ghost !

I think this is less about which is the nicer name, and more about you resenting DH for influencing your decision when you were at a vulnerable time and refusing to let you change your mind afterwards. I think it will be hard for you to learn to love the name Caspar in these circumstances.

I think you need to have a serious chat with DH about this. Not about the names but about how you feel about his behaviour.

I much prefer Casper. Felix is a cats name.

I went to school with a Kaspar and he was one of the loveliest people I've ever met. That's the connotation for me so it's all good.

is he your first? both mine have unusual names that I love but I did have a wobble about them being picked on in school. then they started school with an array of other unusually named children and I realise that nowadays it's relatively normal to have an unusual name and the kids don't care at all. Caspar is a beautiful name and not on the ridiculous scale at all

I prefer Caspar too!

It's lovely, and agree with the other posters that Cas is a fab nickname.

Unusual is a good thing, I doubt people are commenting negatively.

I wonder why you've picked up on the one poster who said they didn't like it when everyone else said they do?

How are you feeling generally other than worrying about your baby's name?

I know 2 Caspers (Hants village) , they don't get teased (what for?! ), one is Polish and one English.

Lovely name, a bit unusual but not weird or made up. And international!

Thank you all for taking the time to reply! Unfortunately pickerel I think you've hit the nail on the head - the more I think about it my feelings are probably connected to how the name came about as opposed to the name itself. Felix also had wonderful connotations to me so I'm just gutted I didn't get to use it.

Caspar isn't my first (we do shorten to Cas which I also think is a pretty cool NN), but I absolutely adore DS1's name so think it's partially also guilt that I haven't been able to bestow a name I feel the same about!

Much as they're both lovely names I am surprised so many of you prefer Caspar to Felix - as I've said though I think my feelings towards the name are massively biased due to the connotations it has for me. As some of you have said it's probably me being overly sensitive to the comments about it being unusual!

In what country is Caspar an unusual name? The most common spelling (Kacper) is top 200 in England and Wales. People who think it's unusual clearly don't get out much.

Besides it's lovely as is Felix but I think I slightly prefer Caspar

Sorry but Caspar is a ghost and Felix is a cat. I really don't like either name.

I really like the name Caspar!

If you are unhappy though OP I personally don't think it's odd for you to use his middle name as his given name. Saying that though, I have a lot of people in my family who are known by their middle name so perhaps I'm odd

Caspar is an awesome name and a country mile better than Felix.

FWIW, I prefer Caspar (yes, unusual in the sense that there won't be one in every class, but really not "out there"). But - if his middle name is Felix, it's no problem at all just to call him that. Loads of people go by a middle name; schools just ask you to underline the name used at home. So - you write Caspar Felix on forms, but underline Felix....and that's the name they will use/put on the register. I have a friend, Paul, who is actually Stephen Paul - because his mum thought it sounded better than Paul Stephen. But he's always known as Paul and always has been. Very easy to change at this point if you want to...because there isn't actually any change involved, if you see what I mean.

People who give you strange looks or criticise your choice of names are twats.

It's not ok to criticise how someone feeds their baby, puts it to sleep or what nappies they use, doing so makes you a twat, same with names, if you don't like it you keep your mouth shut.

For what it's worth I think Caspar is lovely, keep your head up and give your son the confidence to rock his name as he grows up

Honestly OP (and not to be insensitive because you obviously have personal reasons for loving Felix) Caspar is so much better. Felix seems quite a 'wet' name for a little boy.

Both names are fine. I know a lovely Casper and a not so lovely felix, so that sort of colours my view of them. But if Felix is his second name and you prefer it, just start calling him Felix and introduce him as Felix. Loads of people go by their second not their first name. No reason why your son shouldn't if it feels more 'right' to you.

I teach a Casper! It's a school for troubled boys and still he doesn't get picked on for his name! So please don't worry your son he will be fine! So many people say 'ohhhh don't name them that they will be picked on' but these people often don't have much interaction within schools-kids are a lot more tolerant about names than most adults (especially those on MN🙄) x

My DS has a Kacper in his nursery. Think it's the polish spelling. He's a beautiful little boy and I kept suggesting it to DP for DS2 in the hope that he would say yes.
Do you like Cass? Could you just call him that?
I am not a lover of Felix. I know 4 my age and no little ones, it's quite a 90's cat name.
Caspar Felix sounds great. Felix Caspar not so much.

I remember your original thread from December because I was a bit jealous. Caspar and Felix are two of my favourite names but my OH veto'd both :( I'd love a Caspar Felix or a Felix Caspar, but if it was me I'd go with the former I think.

I think you're getting too hung up on the few negative opinions when you really should be just ignoring those. There will be people with negative opinions about EVERY name. If you had called him Felix, you'd be on here complaining that everyone says "what, like the cat??" As long as you like the name, who cares what anyone else thinks? As he grows up, he is going to become the name. I know people with names that mumsnet would class as HORRIBLE, but I never thought about it when we were kids because that was just my friend Gary, for example!

I mean, you could try to go for a more universally popular name, but there will still be people who don't like it (Henry? Like Henry the 8th, that fat fuck who was obsessed with killing women??) so really you need to just accept that people have different tastes. And that it doesn't matter.

People who give you strange looks or criticise your choice of names are twats

Yeah I have to ask what kind of people you're spending time with, OP. Our DS1's name hovers around 350th in popularity in the UK (far less popular than both Felix and Caspar) and nobody has EVER given us a strange look or criticised his name. Regardless of how they actually feel about it, that would be super rude.

If DH is on board with you calling him Felix, call him Felix.

You don't need to worry about changing it legally straight away. Lots of people go by their middle name and it's completely fine. You can put Felix on his school papers etc. He only needs to be known as Casper on his passport.

I think if you all call him Felix and that becomes his name, your DH will probably come round to changing it legally at some point. Or Felix can do it when he's old enough.

It doesn't matter what mumsnet likes best. You need to do what feels right.

Caspar is excellent and the best first name choice of the two. I hope it grows on you .

I love Caspar and it's really not that unusual. I get that too with my son's name but don't care anymore.

Both are lovely names, particularly Caspar.
Ignore those who are rude.
I gave my dc an unusual name, had some very off comments, but she rocks it and loves it.

I really like both Casper and Felix! They were both on our list. I'm surprised people you meet think its unusual, there's plenty of polish Kasper/Kacpers around here.