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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Baby name 'regret' - 6 months old

87 replies

CyrilSneer30 · 01/07/2017 23:00

Hi all,

I have a gorgeous 6 month old called Caspar Felix. During the entire pregnancy he was going to be named Felix Caspar, but as he arrived on Christmas Day we decided to swap the names. Ever since, I've been unsure on his name - I hate the looks and the 'that's...unusual!' comments I get whenever I introduce him, and I wish so much I'd stuck with what I wanted when he was born and called him Felix. Honestly, I think I'm holding a massive grudge against DH for forcing me to decide on his name when I was clearly not in a state to do so (EMCS) and also felt a bit railroaded as I was aware that quite a few members of my family disliked the name Felix. Thinking back to the few days post birth I was in such a daze, I just went along with what other people wanted.

I do like the name Caspar, and think if I already had a Felix I would be happy to use it for another son IYSWIM? I'm just worried I'm becoming a bit obsessive about it. DH won't even entertain changing his name now. I guess I just wanted to ask - which do you all prefer? I'm not sure whether I want to keep making a fuss to make DH consider changing it, asby 6 months I feel that it is now his name and not mine to change.

Huge apologies for the rambling post, I just feel a bit dismissed every time I mention this to anyone IRL but to me it's important and I think about it most days. Help!

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Lilmy3 · 02/07/2017 00:10

Not a big fan of Felix but love Caspar. It's just more interesting

Buntysoven · 02/07/2017 00:16

OP there is only 1 negative comment for Casper in all these replies. I know a 9 year old Casper. He's a lovely boy often called Cas ( not by his mum!) and has never been teased for his name. Please don't worry. He can call himself Felix when older if he doesnt like it but I bet he will.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 02/07/2017 00:24

I adore Caspar! Not so much a Felix fan though.

hophop333 · 02/07/2017 00:37

I personally prefer Felix and can totally understand why you might want to change it but names do grow and you might get used to it. Also, it only matters what you and your husband think, and he really needs to listen to how you are feeling.

Just to give a personal account of a similar situation just in case it helps. I was named X H Surname (for example), my parents decided that I just didn't suit it and they didn't like it...so my name was changed at around the same age to H X Surname. It was never an issue at all for anyone and as I never remembered being called otherwise. On all documents I ended up being H X, driving licence/passport etc.

They never did it officially, which if I am honest was a little annoying down the line because I had to get it changed by deed poll to rectify my differing birth certificate! So what I'm trying to say is, if in your heart you feel like you need to make the change then do it now before it really is too late and be confident in the importance of how you feel!

IntegritasAdSalutemVocat · 02/07/2017 00:47

I think Caspar is a lovely name but if you want you could just have him known as Felix, my dad is Mark Andrew but everyone calls him Andrew

SuperBeagle · 02/07/2017 00:51

Caspar is much nicer than Felix, IMO. Cas(s) is a cool nickname.

And if you're worried about it being too unusual, Felix is also unusual.

BadToTheBone · 02/07/2017 00:55

I like both names. I also know brothers Caspar and Felix.

ExplodedCloud · 02/07/2017 01:00

Everyone he is mates with will shorten it in his teens. Caz sounds better than Fee, Lix or Feels.

Jooni · 02/07/2017 02:21

I absolutely love both names OP - you have great taste!

Honestly, if you're really not happy with it and this is something that's been bothering you for a while and not improving (and not linked to other issues like PPD), I don't think it's too late to change it at 6 months. Especially since it sounds like you'd only be swapping the first and middle around. If it feels right to you and would stop this playing on your mind every day, it might be worth seriously considering. I'd personally change it officially rather than have him go by his middle name, which I think would be a pain in terms of registering for things etc.

I don't think you need to worry about him being teased though. As pps have said, Caspar is a great name and not too out there at all. It's actually barely more unusual than Felix when you factor in both spellings, and I've come across a pretty even number of both.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 02/07/2017 02:45

I think Caspar is fast becoming my favourite boys name, actually. Not sure if DH would go for it, though!

FartnissEverbeans · 02/07/2017 05:53

I absolutely love both of those names! I'd use Caspar myself if it wasn't for the fact that my DS is so white he's almost translucent

I've been a teacher for ten years now and I've taught kids named both Caspar and Felix. There were quite a lot of Felixes (Felii??) in SW London - in fact I'm pretty sure I had two in a class at one point.

I meet more Caspars now that I teach at an international school. It's not common but we have a few at our school. One has two siblings with beautiful Persian names.

Do not worry about school - kids take names in their stride and I've never known a child get teased for their name (in spite of what posters on this board would have you believe). Caspar isn't really tease worthy in any way either. I think you've chosen a beautiful name, though Felix is gorgeous too.

autumnkate · 02/07/2017 06:14

Caspar is a million times better than Felix imo

GinIsIn · 02/07/2017 06:16

I like Caspar! Are you sure people are actually being rude about it or are you a bit sensitive because you feel unsure about your choice? Saying a name is unusual doesn't mean someone hates it or is mocking it, for example.

I think if it's really upsetting you, you could change it, but it all depends on your son - does he know his name? My DS is only 18 weeks and already responds to his so I wouldn't want to confuse him by changing it.

When we chose his name I was newly pregnant, and it wasn't in the top 100. During my pregnancy it shot into the top 50. Our other choice was very popular in the area we lived in and we didn't know any with our first choice so we went with it. We moved towards the end of the pregnancy. Turns out the name we gave him is MEGA-popular here and he will be the 6th at his nursery. It doesn't matter though - it's his name, it suits him, and I'm not changing it now, even though it does rub me up the wrong way a bit.

OrdinaryGirl · 02/07/2017 06:24

Adding my voice to those who've said Caspar is a lovely name! Lots of wise thoughts on this thread. How are you feeling about it now OP?

NosyJosey · 02/07/2017 06:36

Generations have been known by their middle names. Don't worry it's too confusing if it hasn't caused problems for the last few hundred years or more.

Both are 'different' names as you put it, and your family didn't like Felix either, so I suspect we would be having this conversation even if you didn't change it at xmas.

They are both unusual, but probably becoming more popular and I suspect if you hold on, in a few years there will be loads of them in class with your future younger children, but Casper will be the only one in his year IYKWIM.

Neither name is for me I'm afraid, but I have ridiculous guidelines over what I would name a child. Your choice, but neither is a made up name, so people should keep their negative opinions to themselves.

ApplesOranges · 02/07/2017 06:40

Caspar is much nicer than Felix in my opinion

Lovegaultier · 02/07/2017 06:46

I prefer Caspar too. I don't know why people are reacting to it.

I don't like Felix at all and I just think of the little black and white cat.

WowserBowser · 02/07/2017 06:50

I like both names. I find people can be really unimaginative with names.

People are probably just surprised it's not a cutesified version of an old man name.

Which ever name you go with you have to have more confidence with. They really aren't that unusual. They aren't names people have heard of. As for school, kids don't give a shit what anyone is called.

WowserBowser · 02/07/2017 06:51

*haven't heard of

Footle · 02/07/2017 07:07

I know a small Kasper with Scandi heritage. I'd have loved to use it for one of my sons but it was a bit close to another name in the family. Felix is a bit boring to me.

Do you have much contact with children , and schools? Caspar really isn't any sort of 'out there' weird and unusual name. You've made a great choice.

errorofjudgement · 02/07/2017 07:23

Kasper is also a popular Polish name judging by my DDs school friends. There are a couple in her Year group at secondary school.
(Also in Wiltshire if that helps)

Bluntness100 · 02/07/2017 07:28

Casper is a fine name. Felix, I'm sorry, reminds me of cats.

chalkyc2 · 02/07/2017 07:33

Do you ever shorten it to Cass or Cassy? We considered Casper, but it didn't go well with our surname, and ended up with Cassius - we often shorten it to Cass and I still love it....

Oldgranny · 02/07/2017 07:33

My dgs is Felix x

DrSpin · 02/07/2017 07:33

I'm regretting my DS's name, for what it's worth, he is 7 months. It's such a big decision and names are so loaded. You also get so many reactions to your babies name when you tell people - it's easy to doubt your choice.

I like your sons name.

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