Surname?

[PirateQueenie]

This probably sounds like a petty issue to some - just wondering if anyone's been in the same boat or how you resolved it.

My partner and I aren't married, although we know we will be one day. The thing is I don't know whether I will change my name in marriage anyway - my mum didn't, and I'm named after a historical figure so love my full name. Now what name do we give baby? Loads of people have said well you've carried the child so therefore your name. And although that's true, my partner is just as deserving to use his name surely? I know how gutted I'd be if I didn't share the name with my child, so I know he'll be just as upset not to?!
As I said, probably a none-issue to most people, but we really can't decide without one of us left upset....
PS - the double barrel thing just wouldn't work for us as we both have unusual and longish surnames as it is 😕

I like the idea of using both names in the surname but without a hyphen. It's what people do as standard in plenty of other countries. For some reason, the hyphen makes me want to say the names more quickly and "together as one" than without. And without the hyphen, it's kind of like having one of the names as a middle name like PPs suggested, but without any chance of it just being unknown and forgotten about.

For example, I may be crazy here, but

Olive Thompson Smith

sounds nicer than

Oliver Thompson-Smith

to me.

Either way, I agree that it would be weird not to share your surname with your child, and given that neither I nor my OH would want that, I can't see any reason not to use both (with or without a hyphen).

We see these threads pretty often and some people are so against using both (and they always claim its because of their specific surnames not sounding perfect together), but really it's the perfect solution.

Ace - Yeah I agree with the two surnames over the hyphen for sure. My surname begins with O'... (Irish) and my OH's is a very rare Dutch (i think) name. Mine is 3 syllables, his two. I guess it could work, I just feel like it'll be a bit of a mouthful and not sure which order would sound best

I think it's something lots of people obsess over when in reality, other people are barely going to notice/care. Okay, they might think "wow that's a long name" the first time they hear it, but then they'll soon get over it.

FWIW, I think an Irish O' surname sounds better coming after the other one, in my humble opinion.

Make up a new name for everyone. Much better and you can chose something really good.

A swerve OT here -

I've got a different name to my DCs and if I'm traveling alone with them I'm often asked to provide birth certificates and our marriage certificate at border points - and it's most often happened to me at bloody Heathrow too!