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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Is it worth changing DD's name?

39 replies

Redladybug · 28/04/2017 17:14

DD has a middle name which we've ended up calling her on a day to day basis.

She has a lovely first name which is quite long and that we still completely love! But we call her by her middle name.

Is it worth getting her name legally changed so her middle name is her first name on her birth certificate/legal documents?

She hasn't started school yet - would it be possible to put her middle name as her first name on the register etc?

Thanks

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afatalflaw · 28/04/2017 17:23

You have the option to choose a 'known as' name at nursery and school, although this would probably be more usually 'Tom' rather than 'Thomas' for example rather than a totally different name. It could cause confusion or irritation in the future with an explanation needed every time ID is required but I have known people in similar situations. One girl at uni was Mary but bc said Jane her parents just changed their minds and called her a totally different name. It is your DD who will have most of the hassle in the future.

thethoughtfox · 28/04/2017 17:27

I would change it. She will face a lifetime of confusion and explaining.

OlennasWimple · 28/04/2017 17:32

Depends really - I know quite a few people who are known by their middle name, mostly fairly posh people who have been given family first names but are known by something else on a day to day basis

FluffyMcCloud · 28/04/2017 17:34

I know several people who are known by their middle name. It's not that uncommon, I wouldn't bother changing it.

RTKM007 · 28/04/2017 17:35

I knew a COLIN PAUL who was always called Paul

Didn't even know his first name til I saw his initials and DH told me his first name

Everyone just knew him as Paul

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 28/04/2017 17:35

Many people are known by their middle name OP, I don't think it's a big deal, but by all means change it.
Personally, I'd leave it, her full name obviously sounds nice.

PotteringAlong · 28/04/2017 17:36

Leave it. I know lots of people known by their middle name.

TimeToMoveOnUp · 28/04/2017 17:39

Change it.
At hospital/anything medical she will be called by her first name, disorientation even as an adult.
If she joins the police/law/armed forces she has to use her given first name. We know someone like this and it's difficult depending on the profession you choose, some you just cannot go by the "given" name. The person we know would change it if it wouldn't offend their parents.

elpinguino · 28/04/2017 18:00

DH uses his middle name on a day to day basis and it doesn't cause any problems, even at school he was known as his middle name rather than his first name. I also know a surgeon who goes by his middle name at work and for everything professional, it's only confusing in that his full initials are used as a hospital code, but the name doesn't cause any problems at all.

QuietNameChange · 28/04/2017 18:23

I know people that are always called byy their middle names. My mother, for example... I don't think there's anything weird about it.

If her full name is nice? I wouldn't change it.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 28/04/2017 18:25

Leave it.

Loads of people are known by their middle name.

User2468 · 28/04/2017 18:30

It's quite common to be called by a middle name rather than your given first name. I'd leave it as is to be honest.

OffRoader · 28/04/2017 18:33

I'd leave it!

Also in a worldvdominated by social media it'll be good for her to have a different 'professional' name for work and her everyday 'known as' name for everything else.

Do tell school which name to put on all her books and which you want them to teach her to write. We often have 'know as' children whose parents then say they want all labelling etc. to be in their official name and it all gets confusing. Some even change half way through the year. So 'David' suddenly becomes 'James'

Bumbumtaloo · 28/04/2017 18:37

It's so common in my family I don't even know who is who anymore . My nan, gramp and all of my aunts and uncles on my mums side weirdly she is the only one who doesn't have a middle name go by their middle names not their given names.

I also have friend who goes by her middle name simply because her middle name didn't sound right as her given name.

user1493022461 · 28/04/2017 18:41

At hospital/anything medical she will be called by her first name, disorientation even as an adult.If she joins the police/law/armed forces she has to use her given first name

Nonsense, at hospital she will be called by whatever name she gave them, the one she uses. Same as anywhere else. And you can use any of your legal names in any of those jobs.

Bringmesunshite · 28/04/2017 18:41

Leave it. My brother is nearing 60 and goes by his middle name. Never been a problem. Ever. And he's travelled the world . He explains to those who need to know it and just shrugs off the use of his first name by any bureaucrat he briefly deals with. No identity confusion. Totally manageable.
By coincidence, my family and friends know me by a nickname and officialdom and work colleagues know me by my official name. No biggie.

Bringmesunshite · 28/04/2017 18:42

It's also handy on social media - I can't be found by the public that I deal with every day.

PaperdollCartoon · 28/04/2017 18:45

I know a few people known by their middle names, it's fine. Just tell school she's know as "middle name" before she starts so they can put the right name on things!
My sister is always known as a diminutive of her name, had no idea it wasn't her 'proper' name until she went to nursery and didn't know the name written on her peg.

LobsterMac · 28/04/2017 18:45

Primary school principal here - no issue to us at all. Let them know what name you prefer and they'll use that at all times. The only time you'll see it is on official documents.

whyIsARavenLikeAWritingDesk · 28/04/2017 18:48

My dad and his brothers are known by their middle names, mainly because they have obscure first names but it's never been an issue and they are in their 50s & 60s

SunshineAllTheWhile · 28/04/2017 18:51

I am known by my middle name - similar situation, my parents just never ended up calling me by my first name!

It's annoying for anything official (I also prefer my middle name), doctors, dentists, school (school was pretty annoying I must say!!) and can be confusing for all involved.

I would change it just for things being straightforward for you DD as an adult.

On the hand, my husband is also known by his middle name (first name is a family name) and he's not bothered by it!

Most importantly, huge congratulations OP for the safe arrival of your lovely baby girl!

Topseyt · 28/04/2017 18:54

It is your choice, but as one who is known by her middle name I beg to differ from those saying leave it.

I have had a lifetime of explaining, and of having to remember when I must respond to my first name instead of my usual one. I find it a total pain in the arse. I wish that my names were the other way around.

Change it now, while it is relatively simple. I sure wish mine had been changed while it was only on birth certificate and medical records. Now I am 50 and it would have to be changed on so many thousands of things that I cannot face doing it even though I would like to, so I feel stuck with it.

Even my parents do now question why they did it.

MinniesAndMickeysNeedCounting · 28/04/2017 18:56

We changed our dd name last year, we use her middle name and she wanted it to be official name, so we've just switched middle and first round.

Not sure about it causing problems with Dr appointments etc but I know it annoyed my dd when she got called in by the dentist and Dr etc by the 'wrong' name.

We let the school know that she was known as middle name at school but official reports from school had to come home in original name.

Craiconwithit · 28/04/2017 19:03

Change it.
My DM was known by her middle name all her life but the staff in the hospital kept calling her by her first name despite my protestations. They swapped shifts and kept forgetting to update the paperwork and when she lapsed into a coma, I felt distraught that she wouldn't know they were talking to her when they attended to her needs.
I know she had often previously complained to me that her parents had saddled her with an awful first name (not suggesting OP has) and she wishes they'd only given her the middle name.

OutrageousFlavourLikeFreesias · 28/04/2017 19:05

Why not leave it for now, but make sure DD knows she can change it herself when she's older and you won't mind?

That way she can choose what works best for her.

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