friends and the same name

[veryexcitingtimes]

I'm 12 weeks and other then immediate family no one knows as scan is this week. I've had names picked forever and we have a shortlist as it's very important the baby has a name reflecting my cultural heritage which is different to DH and the country it will grow up in.

Now my BF from home has announced to us she's pregnant but less far along and has picked my top 2 names....

Now my baby is due first so all good and no one owns a name. However she's going to think I've stolen them. She has already been annoyed at a separate friend who has used her previous favourite boy and girl names.

Help!

You've both got a long way to go yet. Either one of you could change your mind. But if you love it that much then use it.

Stick to your names- you will regret it if you change them, especially if you've loved them forever. Nothing wrong with them having the same names anyway, and they may be different sexes. What you can't do is 'claim' the other name so if you have a girl you can 'save' the other for a boy. I would let her know now that you plan on using the names so that she can look for others if she wants to be different. They're not 'her' names but she can't stop you using them!

Spot on OP, nobody owns a name.
I would tell her your intentions now, rather than naming baby and saying nothing. Great minds think alike, springs to mind 😄

Definitely tell her now.

None of my DC's are called what i thought they would be so it may turn out not to be a problem anyway

Stick to your names, they were your fave names, and you are due first. If she is a good friend she will understand.

tell her what ur thinking now so she doesnt think u r copying her x

You are 12 weeks pregnant.

There's a long time between now and birth for you to go off the names you've chosen.

Keep quiet until closer to the time.

You never know, you could find a different name you love

How popular are the names? If they're very popular names, I wouldn't tell her. But if they're more obscure names, I'd tell her now.

Tell her those are the top names on your list too so she is prepared. Hope one of you has a boy and one has a girl!

Thank you all for the reassuring messages. I've said those are lovely names I have always had on the list. I'll tell her I'm pregnant this week and hopefully she'll be pleased.

Names are well known but not popular as where we are from but very unusual where I live now. I wouldn't mind if she picked the same names and as above it might not be a problem if a girl and a boy.

I know I have a long way to go but think the name shortlist if pretty set so it's likely to be at least one of those names.

Can someone's child name really ruin a friendship?? Seems absurd to me ...

Just use the name if you like it. There will be hundreds of other kids with the same name.