Middle names. WWYD?

[SquedgieBeckenheim]

We are expecting DD2 in March. We have yet to agree on the first name, I've decided, just need to get DH fully on board but are thinking of middle names.
DD1 has my sisters name as her middle name, a family tradition. There are no more sisters to carry this on. We feel very strongly about middle names being family names. So that leaves mothers or grandmothers. I really want to use my mothers middle name as DD2's middle name (there is a backstory as to why, but that would make this post too long). It is the name that goes best with my preferred middle name, and it's the name that DH prefers as a middle name. However, I get the feeling DM wouldn't like that - she says her names are "boring" (direct quote!)
I don't want to appear to be preferring one side of the family over the other, but do want to honour family and carry on that tradition of middle names being family names.

Could you speak to your mother to see how she would feel about it? It sounds like it is ideal if you and your DH both like it and it has meaning to you. Even if your mother doesn't love the name she might be touched that you want to honour her in this way.

We are planning to do similar and use family names from my side as middle names. In our case our DC will have DH's surname so we have decided using family names from my side redresses the balance a bit.

"I don't want to appear to be preferring one side of the family over the other"

Did you take your husband's surname when you married him? Are you giving your children his family surname?

If the answers to those questions are both yes, you are already giving preference to his family over yours. So knock yourself out, pick a middle name from your family - it's only fair.

Ideally you would both like the first name equally, though

Navy DH likes my mothers middle name as the middle name too.

zazie we haven't directly asked DM about using her middle name, she just has always said her names are boring and she wishes her parents had given her nicer names. However, if we do use it and she doesn't like it, I can always say it's after one of my favourite childrens books instead!

name Yes, I did take DH's surname and our children have his surname too. I do like the theory of middle names coming from my family on that basis! As for first names, we picked DD1's together. This one is proving more difficult, but apparently DH is coming around to my favourite name.

It's so much harder naming 2 of the same sex!