Using DSD's middle name as first name for baby

[Thomasina76]

Only hypothetical but DH and I are TTC and talking about possible baby names. The only girls' names I have ever liked are Emilia and Clara, with Clara being my favourite. Unfortunately, Klara is his 14 year old daughter's middle name so he won't let me use it. I sort of agree but, on the other hand, middle names are used so infrequently that I am not sure how much of a big deal it would be. Her first name is Emma so Emilia is also out. Just means we'll have to go with a name I'm not mad on if it's a girl. Such as shame as I alwasy wanted a girl I could call Clara. DS would have been Clara if he's been a girl.

It's not a sacrifice because you don't already have it. You don't even yet have a child to give the name to.

There will be plenty of sacrifices you will have to make for your DSC though. If a nice name for a hypothetical daughter is an issue then I wonder how you'll find all of that....

I should have known it would descend into the usual MN shit throwing fest.

Dozer, it may be a given to you. It's not to me. I thought it worth checking as I love the name. The answers confirmed my initial thought not to use it. So shoot me.

On your first point - have you actually read the first post where it says it's hypothetical? Or can't you be bothered?

The only way I would do this is if you said, "I'd love to call her Clara after you but wouldn't think of it if you didn't like it"

Mind, as you are saying Clara not Klara, that's less convincing!

As others have said, its not about usage of middle names but about identity.

I like those names too, others I like are Nina and Naomi.

What's the third name you both like somewhat?

How about Eleri instead of Eleni?

Elodi is another one I've heard

Somerville, I already have 2 DCs thanks so I am well aware of what sacrifices are needed to raise children, thank you. I have made a fair few myself.

So now I am being accused of being fixed on my DSD's names. How very strange given that we had both these names for my DSs and didn't get to use them. Nothing to do with being fixated with DSD. How very odd.

Thanks DoitJulia, Carla is pretty but not mad on it. Not made on Eleri or Elodie.

I have 2 DDs, OP. Neither of them are called names that I liked growing up or pre-pregnancy. Honestly wouldn't give it any more thought until you're pregnant and you know it's a girl.

Charlotte nn Carla

Selena

Helen

Camilla

Camellia like the flower

Suggest you find another partner/husband to conceive with.

Then you're sorted.

Lara instead of Clara, or Lena or Leni instead of Eleni?

Coincidental that both your favourite names happen to be similar to your DSD. Weird.

This is baby names! This is my happy place! Please all play nice!

I've had a favourite name since I was young, would've not used it of course if similar to any DSS but op was just asking if it was definitely not possible!

And I would have been accepting but disappointed, as op is

Not that weird at all. Emma is a fairly popular name and it's not even the name I like but similar to.

Thanks HostofDaffodils, that's a great suggestion. Maybe leave the post if you have nothing constructive to add?

Lara is a good suggestion, thanks Sophronia.

I am indeed going to now park the issue - DH and I were just musing the other night about baby names (clearly we are the only couple who have had this conversation and noone else contemplates, what if etc) and I wanted to know if there was any way around it. Clearly there isn't.

Might it be worth looking at names that have similar meanings, Thomasina? For example, one meaning of Clara is bright - and there are other names with similar meanings - Claire, Eleanora, Kalea, Laine, Morgan.

Or is it more the sound/feel of the names that you like?

Thanks YonicProbe. it does amaze me how certain posters are just determined to be nasty. Like they have to find a way to attack other posters. Really weird - I really tend not to comment on posts unless I have something positive to add, not to just attack someone.

Sorry OP but you can't use Clara if your DSD already has that name - albeit as a middle name.

We all have to make allowances for others when it comes to naming our DC. My favourite boy's name is one my DH simply couldn't stand. Tough luck for me. Then we agreed a name for DS2 and some friends of ours had a baby boy and named him that name - so back to the drawing board for us. My elder brother named his first DD the name my younger brother had always wanted to use for his DD - he had to go for something else. It's just life. Find another name that you love. It's not the end of the world.

I know it's not the end of the world, thank you.

Bizarrely my exH had his Dad's name as his middle name.

Then his Dad went on to have 2 children (ex's step siblings) who were actually called Dad's name and female version of Dad's name.

Think Anthony/Antonia or Peter/Peta.

Was a bit strange but no-one seemed that bothered.

Agree with pps really in that I definitely wouldn't use it and I definitely wouldn't overthink the whole name thing. It's just a name; it really isn't the be all and end all as I think you realise.

I love Clara too. Other names on my girls list are:

Annabel
Eden
Esther
Harriet
Abigail
Bethany
Francesca
Verity
Hope
Faith
Robyn
Nancy
Edith

Anyway, you might have a string of boys, so don't lose any sleep over 'losing' your favourite names. I'm sure you won't .

Thanks all. I have 2 DSs so have really been around the houses with names. I don't think we will discover one that we are not aware of but, should we ever get pregnant, will have to come to like the name we chose. I'm sure we will and will probably grow to love it even more than Clara. The other name we have that we both like (but are not mad on) is Ines. (DH is Spanish). Think it's really pretty and goes well with our other children's names. DH is v keen on Maria-Ines though which is way too Catholic for me though so having to dissuade him from that one!

Honestly, If I was DSd I wouldn't give a shiny shit.

Most people don't even use their middle names.

My brothers middle name is the same as my cousins first name. I share a middle name with my grandmother and a cousin.

It's a middle name ffs people are acting like you're giving her the exact same first name and dressing them the same, total over reaction.

I was set on a girls name for years before we had DD. One look at her and I really didn't like the name I had chosen (Lily). We called her Elaina-Rose. It's strange but it's happened to a few friends too.

Its because you're a stepmum that you're getting these responses. Mumsnet hates hates hates stepmums.

My dss would be thrilled if we used his name as a middle name for his new brother. Nobody heres knows your family, dsd might think it's a lovely idea.