My son is 9 months old but doesn't suit his name. I hate it...

[Pebbles1000]

I'm really upset but I'm not sure if it is fair to change his name. It doesn't suit him but I know that's a stupid reason. It was the only one we could agree on. My partner refused to use any other name but now claims he never said that, so I would love to use the name he said that I couldn't.

He is called Louie, we do have problems with the spelling but no pronunciation problems, luckily.

He just doesn't suit it but I don't know if that's because I have my heart set on the other name.

Everyone says I shouldn't but I don't know :(

[julfin]

I think you really need to talk it through with your partner. Personally I don't think there's a problem with changing the name now (as long as you do what you can to minimise confusion). But it really depends on whether your partner is happy with Samuel and whether he'd be willing to change the name. Have a good long chat with him.

I wonder whether the boy genuinely/objectively doesn't look like a Louie or whether to some extent you just find it hard to use that name when you've never quite let go of Samuel.

[Pebbles1000]

He really doesn't look like a Louie!

He isn't that bad, he has just had a difficult time with things, so he likes his own way

[septembersunshine]

I would change it to Samuel Louie too and gradually drop the Louie over time and just call him Sam/Samuel. I think you should just do it and make your DH understand what it means to you. I guess if you don't do it you will always be caught up with this name thing and it will always bother you.

I'm sorry you were railroaded into calling your DS a name you didn't love.

[nagsandovalballs]

Er, having a tough time does not give someone the right to be demanding and controlling. Wanting to 'have your own way' is unpleasant In a child and worrying in an adult.

[Goingtobeawesome]

He is that bad.

Either change now or get on with it.

Samuel is a fabulous name.

Change it.

[Gummibaers]

If his dad doesn't like Samuel then you cannot change it to that imo. That would be unfair.

Your son needs a name that both parents are happy with.

However, at some point you both need to accept his name and live with your choices.

They're both good solid names imo,

[Gummibaers]

And I agree with a previous poster that Samuel Louie doesn't work that well together. It sounds like Samuel Oouie.

[user1467101855]

He has a name. You gave it to him, he exists in the world with that name, its not on to change his identity later on.

Plus if you are both on the birth cert you both need to sign to change his name, so sounds like you're out of luck there anyway.

[Pipilangstrumpf]

I'm surprised how many of you are suggesting the op changes her son's name without her partner's agreement. Surely, both parents need to want to change their child's name.

But I also feel you owe it to your son to be consistent and don't confuse him by changing what you call him without both parents agreeing to it.

[Pipilangstrumpf]

"He really doesn't look like a Louie!"

Really?!

[Groovee]

I went through this! We'd called ds a name and I felt he didn't suit it. Dh refused to change it and I understood why. But now he's 13 and from about 16 months suited his name.

[Pebbles1000]

I'm not allowed to change it, never mind

[Believeitornot]

A difficult time? So he gets his own way?

You might want to take a look at the relationship boards.

[downright]

It sounds like your partner is the problem rather than your baby's name.

[ProphetOfDoom]

I can't quite get my head around your DP's response. If you dislike the name you've chosen, if it makes you sad & upset then his 'job' is to address this with you - because he loves you & wants your happiness. Who on earth wants a lasting sadness or regret associated with your child's name?!

[Theoldseacat]

I have found your messages a little concerning. 'I am not allowed' in particular. Please don't be offended I don't know you but if you feel you need support with your relationship you can talk to your HV or GP or advice is here www.refuge.org.uk/get-help-now/help-for-women/recognising-abuse/

[mouldycheesefan]

I would at least change the spelling to Louis.
Well ypu jointly decided in a name and now your partner doesn't want to change it I don't find that unreasonable.
Add Samuel as a middle name and change the spelling. That is a compromise for you both.

[Porcupinetree]

I feel so sad that you named your son a name you didn't like, I understand that relationships are about compromise but I just find that situation so sad.

Are you going to be assertive enough to make other (arguably more important) parenting decisions against the wishes of your partner or is it all pretty much that he gets his way by default?

[Pipilangstrumpf]

Why should the op change Louie to Louis? The latter is the French version and, unless pronounced the French way Lou-ee, it will be pronounced Lou-is, like the City of St Louis in Missouri. Louie works much better outside of France imo.

[mouldycheesefan]

Because the op says she keeps being asked how to spell it so a more traditional spelling may help with that.

[Pipilangstrumpf]

Oh, I see. Yes, the French spelling Louis is probably more traditional, but I know quite a few non French Louises that pronounce their name Lou-is. So it may solve one problem, but creat another .

[Batteriesallgone]

Louie could be spelt Louie or Louis BUT Louis could be pronounced Louie or Lewis so it depends what's more important, spelling or pronunciation. Personally I would keep Louie so people are clear how it's said, people nearly always clarify spelling even for more straightforward names

[hippiedays]

If you can, change it but change his first name and use Louis as his middle name. I wanted to and tried to change my child's name (by using her middle name) and everybody simply ignored it and continued to call her by her first name which I have always really disliked. I panicked when naming her as I didn't 'love' any name. I liked the meaning of her first name so just named her that. I grew to really dislike the name but she is now stuck with it.

[mayoketchupchocolate]

My parents legally changed my name when I was about 2 years old, and I have had no adverse effects, I can't remember ever being called the first name to be honest! They were just going to change it unofficially, but certain family members kicked up a fuss about it, as they changed it from a pretty girly name to a much more typically boyish name, so they were faced with opposition and a point blank refusal to use the new name, so they decided to do it officially so that no one could argue!

I don't like my sons name, and he's 3.5. I really wish we hadn't used it. I sort of felt pushed into it because DH was being insanely fussy at the time and hated all of my suggestions. I really wish I hadn't caved though. I hate telling people his name because I really don't like it. I never use the full version, only ever the nickname, which is a bit odd and not really a name in itself!