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Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Baby names

My son is 9 months old but doesn't suit his name. I hate it...

92 replies

Pebbles1000 · 29/06/2016 20:49

I'm really upset but I'm not sure if it is fair to change his name. It doesn't suit him but I know that's a stupid reason. It was the only one we could agree on. My partner refused to use any other name but now claims he never said that, so I would love to use the name he said that I couldn't.

He is called Louie, we do have problems with the spelling but no pronunciation problems, luckily.

He just doesn't suit it but I don't know if that's because I have my heart set on the other name.

Everyone says I shouldn't but I don't know :(

OP posts:

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Batteriesallgone · 29/06/2016 21:23

I don't agree that at 9m it will be strange or distressing for him to change his name. About that age I started calling lo sausage - don't know why I just did - now at 18m it's all I call her pretty much. Not confusing and she knows her name, and answers to that, sausage and her other nickname. I don't think babies are attached to having one fixed name, for a lot of them it's the tone of voice and a loved one calling for them that matters not the name particularly.

OP, I'll be frank, it sounds like you are having communication problems with your OH. Hedging and beating about the bush just isn't on really, not about something important to you. Making it sound like you chose it is very strange. If you don't like the name, change it, but you must make sure you and OH are in full agreement. Is he the kind of nasty person to 'jokily' always bring this up in future as you being a control freak / changeable / unstable? Just a thought.

nectarini1983 · 29/06/2016 21:25

I'm surprised you didn't give him Samuel as a middle name if you love it so much.

What would you do with current middle name (if he has one?)

I'm not digging at you...just wondering why you didn't make sure the name you love wasnt present somewhere?!

mathanxiety · 29/06/2016 21:26

Just change it if you can talk your partner into it. If this is really bothering you then start calling him Sam at home, and get your partner to do the same. See how you feel about it. Then if all goes well, change it officially.

lucy101101 · 29/06/2016 21:26

Just change it if you are so unhappy and your husband is OK with that. The night before my son was 1, DH and I had a whole conversation about my son's name as DH wasn't sure about it and we had agreed that we would change it if we hadn't got used to it. I was always happy with it and DH decided he didn't want to change it after all...

You could give yourself more time to test your feelings, you can change it in two or three months time. Don't worry about what other people will think though!

PartyCityGhoul · 29/06/2016 21:27

I think if you have a name you WANT to call him instead, rather than a more floaty 'not sure but not happy' feeling you probably should.

Can you try out calling him Samuel for a few weeks, see if it 'feels' better? If it does, change it (he's only 9 months, he will adjust quickly and people we get used to it), and if it doesn't, you know it's not the name it's something else unsettling you.

RachelLynde · 29/06/2016 21:31

It won't confuse him at 9 months, just change it and stick Louie in the middle. Better that than a lifetime of hating his name and him knowing it! I has to change my child's name (adopted) and she was a bit older than yours, didn't bat an eyelid. They really don't notice, esp if you start saying 'Sammy-louie' then just drop the Louie and call him Sam. The name we chose was vastly different, I was amazed at how she accepted it. I know older kids who have been adopted as toddlers and had their names changed for safety reasons, again, its not been a big thing. The old name can go in the middle in case they one day desperately want it / feel its been taken against their will.

If my middle name were my first name I'd definitely change it, I hate it! My parents seemed to have some sort of crisis over middle names, lots of nice traditional first names paired with ghastly old fashioned middle names

Pebbles1000 · 29/06/2016 21:36

He wouldn't let me have Samuel in the middle, so I couldn't give him it

OP posts:

SavoyCabbage · 29/06/2016 21:38

So your partner refused to have any other name than the name he wanted and he would not allow you to have the name you wanted as your son's middle name?

Lovethebubbles · 29/06/2016 21:40

Would your OH be happy to change his name to Samuel now?

Pebbles1000 · 29/06/2016 21:43

Well, he said that I'll thank him for it later, as he was making the right choice.

Well, he said he doesn't want his name to be changed

OP posts:

nectarini1983 · 29/06/2016 21:53

So changing it doesn't sound like an option then? Is he on the birth certificate?

sycamore54321 · 29/06/2016 21:54

I only ever see this in mums net, not real life. Like another poster said, are you absolutely certain that your focus on his name isn't a pretext for some other bigger concern or fear of loss of control or manifestation of depression?

I would have hated to learn that my parents changed my name some time later. I see it that the parents have a right and a duty to give the baby a name when it doesn't have one but after that, it ends. Changing a name several months along seems to me to disrespect the baby as an individual, with her own identity, not a possession. I know that I really would not like my parents to have done this to me. I think you should look deeper at what it is that is really bothering you.

Haywirefire · 29/06/2016 21:55

Oh god I really feel for you. I had a mental panic about my son's middle names the day after we registered him. I was deep in the throes of PND and it triggered a panic attack where I thought I was going to die. My husband saw the distress I was in so we ended up changing his middle names - by adding two extra ones to them. Now my son has four middle names. I don't know how long it took me to come to terms with the fact i had screwed up his name even more by doing that. I never admit to anyone it was the result of mad PND irrational behaviour (partly because I never admit to PND) but what I should have done is just removed the middle names altogether. I was so obsessed with doing everything perfectly and getting everything right. If you do change it officially do it for the right reasons. You can also always just call your boy what you want. Kids will happily answer to lots of names. My middle child answered to Bubba for ages as well as his name.
My heart goes out to you. I know how much stress this can cause to a new mum. Ignore anyone who tells you you're being childish. You're taking your responsibilities as a parent seriously.

PresidentCJCregg · 29/06/2016 21:57

Your OH sounds like a charmer.

badg3r · 29/06/2016 22:02

Yes, what President said. Sorry but the name thing sounds like the least of your worries OP.

FWIW I much prefer Sam to Louie. Start calling him Sam and see how it fits him.

Pebbles1000 · 29/06/2016 22:02

I've already said I'm not depressed. I was never happy with his name. I'm just not sure my partner is going to agree, as he keeps telling me how it will soon fit his face

OP posts:

gonetoseeamanaboutadog · 29/06/2016 22:04

Change it if you want to. People will talk about it for a week and then forget about it. Surprisingly easy to get used to a new name.

gonetoseeamanaboutadog · 29/06/2016 22:05

I had to chuckle at your partner's predictions that it will soon fit his face - he might be right but how can he tell?!

RandomMess · 29/06/2016 22:09

Your OH sounds deeply unpleasant

hideouspain · 29/06/2016 22:09

Have you considered changing your partner?

NewStartNewName · 29/06/2016 22:12

If I wasn't such a mardy cow I'd have put it a bit more like sycamore.

JessicaRabbit3 · 29/06/2016 22:13

Your do sounds controlling. Where was your choices here. As for a name growing in I doubt believe a baby suits the name they just come known by it. Took us ages to call the baby Joshua but now it's all we know him by it the last weeks we agreed on Max but had change of heart

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BretonTop · 29/06/2016 22:29

I feel for you OP. I don't really like my youngest's name, and he's 2.5. I cringe inwardly when people say it out loud sometimes. Just hope I grow to like it more one day.

I agree it doesn't sound like your partner has been very fair or kind here. Sounds like he didn't give you any choice at all when naming your son? Can't believe you didn't put your foot down and put Samuel down as a middle name! (My son has my favourite boys' name as his middle name; I just didn't want to use it as his first as it's so common atm).

Believeitornot · 29/06/2016 22:32

Your partner doesn't sound very nice to be honest. He basically played some sort of weird mind game on you.

I would change the name. Then you can rest easy.

tellmeofthetime · 29/06/2016 23:15

Louie Samuel sounds better to me without the two 'L's running together

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