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Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Baby names

My son is 9 months old but doesn't suit his name. I hate it...

92 replies

Pebbles1000 · 29/06/2016 20:49

I'm really upset but I'm not sure if it is fair to change his name. It doesn't suit him but I know that's a stupid reason. It was the only one we could agree on. My partner refused to use any other name but now claims he never said that, so I would love to use the name he said that I couldn't.

He is called Louie, we do have problems with the spelling but no pronunciation problems, luckily.

He just doesn't suit it but I don't know if that's because I have my heart set on the other name.

Everyone says I shouldn't but I don't know :(

OP posts:

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DerelictMyBalls · 09/07/2016 14:17

for you, OP, you sound so sad and worn down. I hope you manage to find a resolution.

manlurking · 09/07/2016 08:04

I haven't read the whole thread. I had a couple of friends at secondary school that went by their middle name. How about adding Samuel as a middle name, it may be more acceptable to your partner, then either you can make the change or the baby can later. Samuel is my favoured option for our little one due in the autumn!

OliveV · 08/07/2016 15:05

I think it's odd for a partner to declare that the OP "...isn't allowed..." if my partner didn't like a name/didn't want to change it, he'd say so, but he wouldn't say it like the OP's did...

handonhip · 07/07/2016 09:48

Wishing you well OP, whatever you decide.

handonhip · 07/07/2016 09:45

Fair enough, perhaps both signed it, I have no idea. I don't know too many women who would tell their partners they 'weren't allowed' to do something, however. Problematic. And I don't think the OP suggested Louie, no.

2nds · 07/07/2016 08:08

Handonhip if two people have signed the birth cert then the two people must agree on the name change, he's not agreeing so no she's not allowed to change it.

For all we know she might well have been the one who suggested Louie in the first place.

If this had been a man posting this problem Bobo I think most mnrs would be telling him to 'sick it up'.

handonhip · 07/07/2016 07:52

I agree; Samuel Louie is the way to go. You really are allowed. And Sam is a great name. Good luck, OP.

BoBo90 · 07/07/2016 07:06

Firstly I think your oh is coming across bad here but it's important to remember that we are only hearing one side of the story so we can't judge him based on that.

If you flipped the situation and you had picked the name you loved and 9 months on your oh wanted to scrap it and pick a totally different name would you be happy???

The only fair way to change it if you must is to rule out Samuel and Louie and come up with a name you both like together. It's not a one person decision.

Personally I would just come up with a cute nickname!

2nds · 06/07/2016 23:36

I wouldn't change it.

As a child I never liked my own name and I was adamant that I would change it myself when I was older. Now I'm older and I have no intentions of changing my name.

You said he doesn't look like a Louie, but what does a Louie look like? A name suits a personality too but your son's personality is yet to come through. What's to say you change it and years from now he tells you he would prefer his original name, or you change your mind and think he suits his original name.

Hellochicken · 06/07/2016 23:09

Maybe OPs partner really feels he is "Louie" and will be equally sad to have to call him Sam?
You both have to decide.

It isnt too late to change it.

I think it would be very reasonable of you to change it to Louie Samuel even if you stick with Louie day to day.

Are you planning on having more children?

I am loving 3 of my childrens names and okay with 1 of their names. Don't love it, wouldn't have picked it, DH loves it. After 2 years I liked it less, now coming up to 4 years, and couldnt change it. It really is an ok name and there are lots of positives to it, which I try and remind myself of if I feel regret. I think DH loves all 4 DCs names though. This is a compromise I am willing to make, there was no name both of us loved, or we would have gone with that.

Lottielou7 · 06/07/2016 22:58

Op, why can't you change it? If you think he doesn't look like a Louie then I think that's completely reasonable, especially if the name was chosen before he was born.

I chose some names for dd3 and when she was born, I felt none if them suited her. Her dad has never been involved so I got to choose her name with my mum! Her eventual name does suit her.

Onenerfwarfrombreakdown · 06/07/2016 22:51

Partner sounds like a controlling overbearing unreasonable arse. You're "not allowed"? Really? That's not on, with no proper discussion or even compromise on Samuel as a middle name for you. He doesn't have your best interests at heart OP. Have a long hard think about if you want to go through the rest of your life having crucial decisions taken away from you or bad choices forced on you.

BlackberryandNettle · 06/07/2016 22:41

I think you should LTB

crayfish · 03/07/2016 22:25

If you really don't like it then now is the time to change it. A 9mo doesn't really know their name properly yet but if you leave it much longer then he will. I'm confused why your partner isn't more willing to compromise though, especially if this is bothering you so much.

I caved and gave DS my MIL's maiden name as a middle name, a decision made about ten minutes after he was born (I blame the gas & air). I really wish I hadn't as I don't like MIL, but you can ignore a middle name I suppose. If it was a first name I would change it.

RepentAtLeisure · 03/07/2016 22:09

Of course you'e allowed to change it, don't mind the facetious comments. On this site you have to factor in that about 25% of us will be PMSing, so if you only get 25% unreasonable comments you're doing well!

Samuel and Louis are very different names, and if he looks like Sam to you, get on and sort it out. My DM didn't get to give me her name choice and I don't like the fact that all my life she called me by a name she didn't like. Be very matter of fact with your DP - he's Sam, not Louis, and he's young enough that we can correct the mistake. Once he's past his first birthday it will be harder, and more confusing.

CanadaMoose · 03/07/2016 19:52

I have a cousin called Chelsea, whose name was changed when she was just under a year old. Her parents didn't think her original name suited her, so they changed it. If your son is a Samuel, don't keep him a Louie!

paddythecat · 03/07/2016 19:22

I agree, change it

If not, you'll only regret it. Samuel is a lovely name. Samuel Louie is great

mayoketchupchocolate · 02/07/2016 23:31

My parents legally changed my name when I was about 2 years old, and I have had no adverse effects, I can't remember ever being called the first name to be honest! They were just going to change it unofficially, but certain family members kicked up a fuss about it, as they changed it from a pretty girly name to a much more typically boyish name, so they were faced with opposition and a point blank refusal to use the new name, so they decided to do it officially so that no one could argue!

I don't like my sons name, and he's 3.5. I really wish we hadn't used it. I sort of felt pushed into it because DH was being insanely fussy at the time and hated all of my suggestions. I really wish I hadn't caved though. I hate telling people his name because I really don't like it. I never use the full version, only ever the nickname, which is a bit odd and not really a name in itself!

hippiedays · 02/07/2016 23:14

If you can, change it but change his first name and use Louis as his middle name. I wanted to and tried to change my child's name (by using her middle name) and everybody simply ignored it and continued to call her by her first name which I have always really disliked. I panicked when naming her as I didn't 'love' any name. I liked the meaning of her first name so just named her that. I grew to really dislike the name but she is now stuck with it.

Batteriesallgone · 01/07/2016 18:57

Louie could be spelt Louie or Louis BUT Louis could be pronounced Louie or Lewis so it depends what's more important, spelling or pronunciation. Personally I would keep Louie so people are clear how it's said, people nearly always clarify spelling even for more straightforward names

Pipilangstrumpf · 01/07/2016 16:33

Oh, I see. Yes, the French spelling Louis is probably more traditional, but I know quite a few non French Louises that pronounce their name Lou-is. So it may solve one problem, but creat another .

mouldycheesefan · 01/07/2016 15:55

Because the op says she keeps being asked how to spell it so a more traditional spelling may help with that.

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Pipilangstrumpf · 01/07/2016 15:43

Why should the op change Louie to Louis? The latter is the French version and, unless pronounced the French way Lou-ee, it will be pronounced Lou-is, like the City of St Louis in Missouri. Louie works much better outside of France imo.

Porcupinetree · 01/07/2016 09:33

I feel so sad that you named your son a name you didn't like, I understand that relationships are about compromise but I just find that situation so sad.

Are you going to be assertive enough to make other (arguably more important) parenting decisions against the wishes of your partner or is it all pretty much that he gets his way by default?

mouldycheesefan · 01/07/2016 07:53

I would at least change the spelling to Louis.
Well ypu jointly decided in a name and now your partner doesn't want to change it I don't find that unreasonable.
Add Samuel as a middle name and change the spelling. That is a compromise for you both.

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