Should you not use your fav name due to fears of bullying in future?

[KathyLou1981]

Feels like I'm being weak. Some say it will make him individual and any bullying strengthens. Others that my vanity could cause future problems for child. So hard to know what to do?!

Any name can be a target for bullying.

George - Georgie Porgie. - implying fat child
William - Willy

Also, name meaning.change over time.
Eg. Adrian - nn Aids - not the best nickname to have during the AIDS situation in the 80s

We considered Leo but didn't because Tony Blair named his child Leo. I thought it would become popular, but it didn't.

I think if you love the name, and it's not silly crazy, more unusual rather than weird, you should go for it. I think also if it doesn't have a wacky spelling, then that's another plus.

My eldest son has a boy in his year with a name from the Middle Ages. He doesn't get bullied, it's just his name.

My DD's name is fairly unusual for a girl. Much more common as a boys name in the UK. I was told when she was 2 days old by a family member that I was setting her up for a lifetime of bullying. Shes 3 now and we still get the odd look when we tell people her name but I couldn't imagine her being called anything else. I did spend probably the first year of her life wondering if we should have named her something else, though.
Is the name you've chosen an unusual name or an unheard of made up name? I understand your reasoning for not wanting to share the name, but as has been pointed out, if you are too embarrassed or worried to share on an anonymous forum are you really going to feel comfortable shouting this name across the playground/park/ wherever?

Can I just also point ouy Zowie Bowie changed his name to Duncan.. If you would think someone could carry off a strange name it would be David Bowie's son...

Another if you can't post it on an anonymous forum you can't name a child it.

The whole unusual name leads to bullying is BS!!!! If a child is going to be bullied it will be bullied regardles of whether they're called tom or buzz it will be because their coat is a different colour or because their lunchbox is different to everyone else's or they don't watch the same tv shows as the other kids. If you like a name then use it! I have an "unusual" name and am so glad I was never Chloe.B or Beth.H at school. Give your child the name that you like! They will thank you for it! I have learnt many life lessons through having an "unusual" name, like it is good to be individual and it is ok to do in life what you want to do rather then what society encourages!

I don't want to share the name because everytime I mention someone says something negative

There's your answer.
Bullying doesn't strengthen, it can mess up your self confidence and sense of self worth for the rest of your life.

What a pile of horseshit, Babykr

How about using it as a middle name so they could choose to use the unusual name in the future if they wish.

I am also intrigued to know what the name is.

I disagree, babykr

As others have said, it really depends on how 'out there' it is. I don't think in general kids these days see an unusual name as a reason to bully - they are probably less conservative than we are, and certainly much less than our parents' generation, when it comes to names. I still wouldn't call a child Fanny, or Titty, or Gay (not an uncommon name for Irish men in the 50+ age-group). But as long as the name isn't one with an obvious other meaning, I'd probably go for it.

But please tell us the name first.

Well I am speaking from experience floggingmolly and CocktailQueen I was bullied all through school, severely bullied, it wasn't ever relevant to my name, apart from the occasion i overheard a classmates mother making a rude remark about my name. Giving your child a name outside of the top 100 isn't a sure fire way to get your child bullied. Children don't know what names are normal and different, unless you're naming your child toothbrush or racecar. The only problems you will encounter is from grown adults, mainly women!

No one's saying that a name could automatically lead to bullying Babykr or denying that other factors come into play when a child's picked out.

There's a world of difference between having an unusual name, or an uncommon one and being given a name that meets with unanimous negativity.

The OP won't say so we have no idea where in the range between Hitler or Cruella and Buzz Lightyear or Fanjorina her chosen name might be.

Find 3 or4 similar styled names, put your chosen one in the list and see if anybody says 'ooh, they are all ok apart from that one'...?

Gerald?

I have an unusual name for my age group, and I longed to be Sarah C or something. My sister had possibly the most popular name of the mid 70s and was there were 8 in her school year, three of whom had the same surname initial.

Strangely, my name is pretty mainstream now.

"The whole unusual name leads to bullying is BS!!!! If a child is going to be bullied it will be bullied regardles of whether they're called tom or buzz it will be because their coat is a different colour or because their lunchbox is different to everyone else's or they don't watch the same tv shows as the other kids. If you like a name then use it! I have an "unusual" name and am so glad I was never Chloe.B or Beth.H at school. Give your child the name that you like! They will thank you for it! I have learnt many life lessons through having an "unusual" name, like it is good to be individual and it is ok to do in life what you want to do rather then what society encourages!"

I absolutely agree with that! Kids are very accepting of different names and imo it is much cooler to have an unusual name than to be one of four Harrys/Toms.

Yes, some names are teaseworthy e.g. Fanny, Willy, Poopoohead etc , but just because a name is unusual does not make it teaseworthy.

I don't think unusual names lead to bullying.

But they can lead to teasing, which is a pain in the neck. And, as my 3 "uniquely" named step nephews discovered, it is incredibly boring to have to explain and/or spell your name every single time you give it. They changed theirs when they went to secondary school, by the way. Their mother was heartbroken.

"I don't want to share the name because everytime I mention someone says something negative"

Would you like to have a name that people think negative things about every time they hear it?

I think children are now used to a unbelievably diverse range of names so just because an adult would it doesn't mean other children would.

I walked past the Reception coat pegs (4-5 year olds) yesterday and was shocked to see Apollo and Zeus among the Lilly and Ellies. The children in those classes will get used to names like that and not blink an eyelid when Ulysses or Olympia joins their year. (I'm not in trendy N London)
There are names that I would avoid (for example the initials BJ) and the fact that you won't say the name makes me think it's a name that you should give a future pet not a child.

If you can't write it on an anonymous forum because you're afraid of the reaction then don't give it to your child.

You're saying that you don't have the strength of character to stand by your idea and decision so how can you expect a child to be lumbered with it?

All credit to those who name their kids flallullah-applepop and hold their heads up with it. It's daft but I can at least admire their tenacity. And their kids will probably grow up being bold and not realising their name is daft because they are seeing their parents model it as normal.

If you've had a number of negative comments already, don't use the name.

You could name change on here and ask for opinions.

I agree with babykr.

Bullies find weaknesses. Names these days are so yooneek generally an odd one won't raise an eyebrow.

We shouldn't let other peoples reactions stop us doing anything.

I had a lot of negative reactions about DD's name. I called her it anyway. It's been fine- then a celeb called their child it so now it's practically mainstream.

Change your own name to something ridiculous and let your child have one less thing to worry about.

Bullying has caused children to commit suicide, I don't know how you can be so flippant about the subject. It's a nice happy ending story when people say they have been bullied and it made them stronger. That is not always the outcome.

If you can't write it on an anonymous forum because you're afraid of the reaction then don't give it to your child.

^ this

Zowie Bowie has always been called Duncan Zowie Jones. David Bowie's real name being David Jones.

And op - no, being bullied is not "character building" it is soul destroying. To give your child a name you already have serious doubts about strikes me as being very vain and selfish.

My niece has a yooneek made-up name. She's 14 now and hates it, not because she has been bullied but because it sounds 'chavvy' (to her) and she always has to spell/explain it. It doesn't help that my brother went on to have two other children with a different partner and gave them very ordinary names - think Jack and Emily with an older sister called Destynie.

It's not just bullying that you should think about, if you have told 20 people the name and 19 don't like it, the chances are your child might not like it either.

As I understand it Duncan Jones had a period of being known as Joe. When he was in his teens I think and then reverted to Duncan.

Marc Bolan's real name was Mark Feld and his son was named Rolan Seymour Feld, but now goes by the name Rolan Bolan.

It's different strokes for different folks I suppose and it's easier to live up to something a bit off the wall if you're famous or offspring of someone famous.

It's not the being unusual I'd be wary of, it's the 100% negative responses, that's pretty much unheard of I'd have thought. One of my DCs has a name that while not unusual in itself, is uncommon. Over the years a few people have teased, a fair few have asked what it's short for and an awful lot have liked it. You expect to get a mix of reactions really don't you.