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Baby names

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Original poster

My close friend hates my baby's name.

92 replies

butterbeerfloat · 13/10/2014 17:33

Just a bit of a rant really.

I'm pregnant again after a miscarriage and since the first pregnancy we've had our boy and girl names picked out.
20 week scan we discovered we're having a little boy ( Grin !) in a few weeks time, and we have been calling him by his name to each other (me and DH) the whole pregnancy. It's what we see him as and know him as and we adore the name.

Anyway a very close friend of mine asked his name and we told her and her DP... they both pulled faces and tried to get us to change our minds?! Kept on suggesting other names, then when I said we're not looking for alternatives, this is his name.. She said reluctantly "no... use it as a middle name instead then maybe?"

Erm. WTF.

It's an unusual name, more common as a surname but certainly not a ridiculous "out there" name. Also even if it were, what right has she got to try to get us to change it!?

I asked my DM and DSis what they thought of the name, not letting on it was the final name, and they both said they loved it despite the fact they're both quite reserved and tend to favour classic names.

When he's born he's still having it, but I'll always know this friend hates it and tbh I've been feeling like shit ever since said conversation. I'm so shocked by this reaction, has anyone else had a similar experience?

OP posts:
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Original poster
butterbeerfloat · 13/10/2014 17:35

Oh and needless to say, ever since, we've told everyone else who has asked that we know the name but it's a secret until he's arrived.

OP posts:
trainersandaches · 13/10/2014 17:37

Rude of your friend. It's none of their business. (Dying to know what the name is!)

CactusSeven · 13/10/2014 17:38

Bet your friend has got it earmarked for her own child Wink

Behoove · 13/10/2014 17:39

Depends on the name. Maybe your "very close friend" is trying to do the right thing by you as a friend should?

Lindy2 · 13/10/2014 17:40

They were being really rude. Your baby and therefore your name choice. Don't let two rude, inconsiderate people spoil something special for you. Stick with the name you like but keep it secret now until baby arrives. That way you don't have to put up with people who feel the need to comment.

Bowlersarm · 13/10/2014 17:42

People are much more vocal with their opinions before a baby is born. Once it's here it's a done deal. Maybe they think they can change your mind, who knows.

We didn't tell anyone, just announced it when they were born.

GermanHouseCat · 13/10/2014 17:58

Will you tell us the name?

ApocalypseThen · 13/10/2014 18:58

I don't understand the view that nobody has a right to express dislike of a name you've chosen. So what? It's only an opinion. Not one that you necessarily want to hear, but still, what difference does it make whether your friend likes it? Why care what she thinks?

pictish · 13/10/2014 19:01

I'm not sure why you are so bothered by this. She doesn't have to like the name.
My best mate was appalled at ds1's name. Bovvered? Nah.

CrispyFern · 13/10/2014 19:03

I only told people the names I had chosen because I knew I didn't care what people thought.
You have to be confidently at that level before you put those names out there!

Original poster
butterbeerfloat · 13/10/2014 19:46

Apocalypse that just seems so strange to me, I'm more of the thinking that of course everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but if telling someone yours is going to deliberately insult them, especially over something like this which is obviously a personal decision, then it's a better idea to keep it to yourself! Why would you want to insult your friend? (Not you personally, but anyone expressing their dislike of a chosen baby name like this, obviously it's not good to lie either but a smile and nod would have been way less offensive!)

I need to take a leaf out of your book pictish . I think from anyone else I'd have felt the same as you but for such a close friend to be so against the name when it's already the one we've landed on just bothered me, she was really fighting for me to change it too which left me feeling Sad .

You may be onto something Behoove as she's really not the malicious kind so it may just be that she was trying to sway us onto picking a name that is "better" for want of a better word!

I definitely felt the same as all of you who've responded in the "how rude!" kind of way, I went home stunned and after time of stewing over it I became more and more insulted tbh!

Thank you for all your replies though! Oh and his name is Sullivan Smile

OP posts:
puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 13/10/2014 19:49

Do you call him Sully? Makes me think of Monsters Inc Grin In a nice way though

WheelbarrowWoman · 13/10/2014 19:52

Sullivan is GORGEOUS!

Original poster
butterbeerfloat · 13/10/2014 19:52

My DH says the same puds ! I always say Sullivan though, and my Mum said she knew someone called Sullivan who went by Van which goes well with our surname too Grin

OP posts:
MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 13/10/2014 19:52

Ooh I think that's adorable!! Will he be Sully a la Monsters Inc?

VeryStressedMum · 13/10/2014 19:53

The only thing that matters is that you and your dh like the name Smile Sullivan is very nice

Bowlersarm · 13/10/2014 19:54

I wasn't expecting to like it, but I do. I really like Sully.

VoyagerII · 13/10/2014 19:55

Well as a parent of DC with unusual names I have had every reaction under the sun. My mum was horrified at DD's name but it just made me more sure! :o Go with what you love. Your friend is rude, even if she can't muster up any approval it's not on to start telling you not to use it! However, you might find she gets used to it and apologises later when she realises it's a fab name for your baby :)

Original poster
butterbeerfloat · 13/10/2014 19:57

Thank you so much! DH always calls him Sully, as does the only other friend I've told his name too. So far I'm the only one that calls him Sullivan!

You're so right VeryStressedMum that's exactly why we decided not to change it even after their reaction, we love it and that's what counts!

OP posts:
slithytove · 13/10/2014 19:57

I like it, and I think if you put it forward as a "this is his name" as opposed to "we are considering", then it is definitely rude to venture a negative opinion, let alone repeatedly try and talk you out of it.

Our DS was named at the 20 week scan too.

Original poster
butterbeerfloat · 13/10/2014 19:58

Now I'm curious to find out your DCs names Voyager!

OP posts:
sidsgranny · 13/10/2014 19:58

Wow, I love that name! Not one I ever would have thought of but really lovely. Tell your friend to bugger off ! (Am wishing I was able to have DS2 now....!)

MaryWestmacott · 13/10/2014 20:02

oh lord I was expecting something terrible from your OP! I'm not a fan of surnames for first names, but that's just me, it's hardly offensive/bully material!

She's not really a friend, just be a bit busy until little Sully arrives, then announce it, get lots of "how lovely" comments and just ignore her.

VoyagerII · 13/10/2014 20:03

Sorry can't reveal them, as I would totally out myself! But I can tell you that although they are even rarer than Sullivan (which I also love) most reactions are positive, and they seem to like their names too. Hence why I'm telling you not to waver! (Not that you are)

FloatingPorpoise · 13/10/2014 20:04

Like it too - don't change the name change the friend I would never have thought of it, it's a really nice, but unusual name which is rare for boys' names.