Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

My close friend hates my baby's name.

92 replies

butterbeerfloat · 13/10/2014 17:33

Just a bit of a rant really.

I'm pregnant again after a miscarriage and since the first pregnancy we've had our boy and girl names picked out.
20 week scan we discovered we're having a little boy ( !) in a few weeks time, and we have been calling him by his name to each other (me and DH) the whole pregnancy. It's what we see him as and know him as and we adore the name.

Anyway a very close friend of mine asked his name and we told her and her DP... they both pulled faces and tried to get us to change our minds?! Kept on suggesting other names, then when I said we're not looking for alternatives, this is his name.. She said reluctantly "no... use it as a middle name instead then maybe?"

Erm. WTF.

It's an unusual name, more common as a surname but certainly not a ridiculous "out there" name. Also even if it were, what right has she got to try to get us to change it!?

I asked my DM and DSis what they thought of the name, not letting on it was the final name, and they both said they loved it despite the fact they're both quite reserved and tend to favour classic names.

When he's born he's still having it, but I'll always know this friend hates it and tbh I've been feeling like shit ever since said conversation. I'm so shocked by this reaction, has anyone else had a similar experience?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

DearGirl · 13/10/2014 20:04

When my best friend was pregnant she told both me and another friend; and we both weren't fans of the name and said so however now we are the proud godmothers of said baby and we love him [and his name] to bits.

CadmiumRed · 13/10/2014 20:10

Has she shown herself to be completely lacking in taste and discernment in any other ways, or is it just baby names she has no clue about?

Amazed she was so rude!

Take no notice.

wanttosinglikemarycoughlan · 13/10/2014 20:14

I love Sullivan and either Sully or Van are great
And I usually dislike all the names on these threads

OpiesOldLady · 13/10/2014 20:15

I made the mistake of telling my group of friends the name we had chosen for our DS - Seth. They hated it and were incredibly vocal about it. I was devastated - I was hugely pregnant and hormonal. As it was, when he was born he really didn't suit Seth, but that was beside the point.

OpiesOldLady · 13/10/2014 20:16

Oh and I love Sullivan btw.

Original poster

butterbeerfloat · 13/10/2014 20:20

Wow all these comments are so lovely to read, thank you so much everyone!

sidsgranny that made me laugh, my Nan's advice was always "Oh tell them to bugger off!"

Voyager I love unusual names! I bet they're beautiful, shame you can't let on!

DearGirl Oh no! That gives me hope that the name will at least grow on her though when it's attached to the little man

OpiesOldLady Seth was our second choice and may well be DS2s name if we ever have a second! (Or maybe even DS1 if he doesn't suit Sullivan?) Beautiful name. Ooh I will agree, the hormones definitely make it feel more insulting!

I'm so glad it doesn't seem to be as "out there" as she made out, we were going to keep it regardless but these comments have made me think her reaction was more daft and bizaar than offensive now!

OP posts:

tabulahrasa · 13/10/2014 20:22

If a friend told me a name they'd picked while they were still pregnant and I thought it was truly an awful name...I would say so, because at that point they can still change their mind, it's not too late to save poor baby Adolf or Myra.

So I'd imagine she was actually trying to be a friend.

But, Sullivan is ok, so she's clearly just got bad taste, even if she means well.

Olaffles · 13/10/2014 20:23

I had a very similar situation OP when I was pregnant from a very good friend. I'm now not in contact and that seemed to be the start of it, realising that the friend was so rude and didn't have my interests at heart. Maybe I blew it out of all proportion, but when the long awaited baby arrived I decided I didn't want negativity in our lives. Shallow maybe, but how I felt at the time!

pieceoftoast · 13/10/2014 20:24

Sullivan is a brilliant name! Sully! I love it! We are also expecting DS2 and have had him named since we found out the sex but DH and I are keeping it to ourselves as we did with DS1's name; MIL very likely to be critical and if we announce it's his name after he's here she'll have no say.

Sully! Absolutely love it! Really unusual imo but very lovely.

TessTackle · 13/10/2014 20:24

I love it OP: stunning.

wanttosinglikemarycoughlan · 13/10/2014 20:26

I love Seth too
I also like Jethro
It is incredibly rude to make those comments when you said you had already chosen the name and didn't ask for opinions

slippermaiden · 13/10/2014 20:30

I love that name, so you go for it!

OpiesOldLady · 13/10/2014 20:55

wantto I love Jethro too, and that was on our boys list as well! In the end we went for Tate which really suits him.

squoosh · 13/10/2014 20:55

I don't like Sullivan but if a pregnant friend told me this was the chosen name I'd say 'oh, that's lovely' as that's the polite thing to do.

Behoove · 13/10/2014 21:00

I think it's a nice name too.

Original poster

butterbeerfloat · 13/10/2014 21:06

Tabulah That's a good point which has made me keep zipped until he's actually here now! Although we presented it that it was his name we had chosen rather than "what do you think of this" kind of conversation, but totally see what you're saying.

Olaffles I know how you feel! Not actually about this friend in particular as although she offended me I couldn't stand for her not to be in our lives - but there are other "friends" who I think I was more putting up with than enjoying spending time with. Now with Sullivan coming along I feel like a cleanse is in order as I don't want these people around him!

Ooh will you tell us yours pieceoftoast?

Thank you again for the positive responses!

Exactly squoosh I think that's exactly what shocked me, it's ok if not everyone loves the name as it's not one of those super popular ones, but the response was so not what I expected!

I've never heard of Jethro but love it! I like that it ends in an o

OP posts:

tabulahrasa · 13/10/2014 21:18

If it helps any...I'd only try and persuade good friends out of a name, acquaintances I'd just say oh yes, Cabbage is unnusual and just laugh after I'd left

But, I can't see the issue with Sullivan.

CadmiumRed · 13/10/2014 21:26

as long as you don't call any DS2 Gilbert.

Original poster

butterbeerfloat · 13/10/2014 21:29

That made me laugh tabulah poor baby Cabbage

Gilbert makes me think of Gilbert Grape! I think DS2 would be Seth, Sullivan and Seth sound sweet but we're getting ahead of ourselves!

OP posts:

BlueStarsAtNight · 13/10/2014 21:30

I quite like Sullivan. I don't know that it's one I would use myself but it's very cool sounding.

I think your friend was definitely very rude; I would't necessarily say she has awful taste, surname type names aren't to everyone's taste and that's fine, but she certainly could have reacted much better! Even if she said it's not exactly to my taste but I'm glad you've found a name you love and I can't wait to meet him, or something like that, it wouldn't have been insulting. I know friends who really aren't keen on my DS' name just because we have different tastes and that's absolutely fine.

ToomuchIsBackOnBootcamp · 13/10/2014 21:31

I think it's a cracking name, very cool. Only issue I would have would be if your surname was Tullivan or something ... It isn't, is it?

SanityClause · 13/10/2014 21:31

Jago is another nice "O-ending" name.

Not that I'm trying to put you off Sullivan.

DancingDinosaur · 13/10/2014 21:33

Sullivan is a cool name. A really cool name. I love it.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 13/10/2014 21:37

Sullivan is bloody brilliant!!! If I didnt already have The Name for ds (due next week) Id be floating Sullivan to DH.

Marvellous choice.

Lindy2 · 13/10/2014 21:40

I think making negative comments on someone's baby name choice is very bad manners. They tell you the name. You say "how lovely". That's polite.
I would class it as the same as when you are first shown the newborn. New mum or dad shows you the baby. You say " how lovely " regardless of whether baby is cute or a mini Winston Churchill.
Sullivan is a nice name though. I'm not just being polite when I say that!

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread