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Original poster

My close friend hates my baby's name.

92 replies

butterbeerfloat · 13/10/2014 17:33

Just a bit of a rant really.

I'm pregnant again after a miscarriage and since the first pregnancy we've had our boy and girl names picked out.
20 week scan we discovered we're having a little boy ( Grin !) in a few weeks time, and we have been calling him by his name to each other (me and DH) the whole pregnancy. It's what we see him as and know him as and we adore the name.

Anyway a very close friend of mine asked his name and we told her and her DP... they both pulled faces and tried to get us to change our minds?! Kept on suggesting other names, then when I said we're not looking for alternatives, this is his name.. She said reluctantly "no... use it as a middle name instead then maybe?"

Erm. WTF.

It's an unusual name, more common as a surname but certainly not a ridiculous "out there" name. Also even if it were, what right has she got to try to get us to change it!?

I asked my DM and DSis what they thought of the name, not letting on it was the final name, and they both said they loved it despite the fact they're both quite reserved and tend to favour classic names.

When he's born he's still having it, but I'll always know this friend hates it and tbh I've been feeling like shit ever since said conversation. I'm so shocked by this reaction, has anyone else had a similar experience?

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Original poster
butterbeerfloat · 13/10/2014 21:43

Our last name is a one syllable name so a nice full stop to Sullivan IYKWIM Grin

Thank you! Couldn't agree more BlueStars exactly that.

Jago is another one I've never heard of! Not sure I know how to pronounce it? Confused

Ahh good luck ThinkIveBeenHacked ! What name are you going for? Smile

OP posts:
BigfootFilesHisToesInYourTea · 13/10/2014 21:44

It's not to my taste. The dictionary definition of "sully" is what would put me off.

MyFabulousBoys · 13/10/2014 21:46

People are rude fuckers. We had this with DS1 and DH was convinced by others after ok'ing it and my fav name became DS middle name.

Never again. With DS2 we told everyone his name was going to be Derek and challenged any fucker on their rudeness if they questioned it. It wasn't of course but no one knew until after he was born. My mum still told me she preferred others but I ignored that I think. Or I may have been cross. Can't remember

Anyway my point is ignore her. And don't tell anyone else.

Original poster
butterbeerfloat · 13/10/2014 21:46

Lindy that's my viewpoint too! They could have discussed all the way home how much they didn't like the name, but to say it to us and try to get us to change it was harsh! Although I'm starting to think the PPs are right in that they thought they were being friends if they think it's a bad name, but really it's not their position to say so when we've already decided it's final!

OP posts:
ThinkIveBeenHacked · 13/10/2014 21:48

Butterbeer we are going with Travis. Seth was also on our shortlist.

ByTheWishingWell · 13/10/2014 21:50

She was really rude, although she probably thought she was being helpful.

She'll come to love it when it's attached to him though. When my brother told me what he was naming his son I laughed because I thought he was joking. Shock Blush I now absolutely adore my nephew and his name. My mum also wasn't impressed with DDs name- when we told her it she just said 'oh. That sounds a bit...foreign'. Grin She loves it now though (or she's too polite to say otherwise)!

Original poster
butterbeerfloat · 13/10/2014 21:52

Hahah I just googled it "damage the impurity of or to make dirty" Oh dear!
I never actually knew that, I've not heard Sully be used in that way before although maybe we'll stick to Sullivan or Van Wink

Awh no MyFabulousBoys it's a shame they made you demote your favourite name to middle name Sad Glad you stuck to your guns with DS2.

It's all sort of on the same theme as how people feel they can tell me I'm "huge!" or I'm "the size of a cow!" and have been since I was about 26 weeks pregnant, apparently looking like I'm "about to pop!" - people think they can say such strange things when you're having a baby!

OP posts:
Original poster
butterbeerfloat · 13/10/2014 21:55

Travis is lovely! I've only ever come across characters called Travis never anyone in RL so that's really nice. I think because both me and DH have VERY common first names (I was one of 6 others in my year at school Angry ) it's always been important for us to call our DC something more unique.

The foreign sounding name has me intrigued WishingWell you're right that once it because their name not just a name it does change everything Smile

OP posts:
Linguaphile · 13/10/2014 22:28

What on earth is wrong with Sullivan? Lovely name, OP. Disregard your 'friend'.

tabulahrasa · 13/10/2014 22:31

Grin I would feel I had to say something if a close friend was planning to call their baby cabbage though, lol.

Sullivan is more, oh, different, hmm I think it's growing on me. My nephew has a surname as a first name and I was a bit unsure about it (I didn't say that at the time as it's not actually awful) and within a few days I really liked it.

So even though I think good friends should be mostly honest over polite...only if it really is awful and Sullivan isn't.

PetulaGordino · 13/10/2014 22:32

"someone called Sullivan who went by Van which goes well with our surname too"

is your surname helsing?

unhappyfatmama · 13/10/2014 22:38

The name we have chosen for our ds always gets looks.... the person that did our 20 week scan actually laughed!! Fortunately dh and i really dont care and appreciate it is an unusual name.

MokunMokun · 13/10/2014 23:24

I was thinking Morrison but then Sullivan Morrison is a bit if a mouthful.

How does it go with your surname OP? We have a surname with four syllables so stuck with shorter names.

birdofthenorth · 14/10/2014 12:07

  1. Don't tell people before the birth! Then they have to lump it and aren't so bloody rude

  2. Sullivan is a cool name. Sully is a cool nickname

  3. He will have a fab blue furry namesake (google Monsters Inc!)

flowerygirl · 14/10/2014 13:21

Sullivan is a brilliant name, I love it!

When I was pregnant we thought about going for Truman if it was a boy. We suggested it to people and EVERYONE hated it, including my midwife who said 'don't do it to the poor child'. I wonder what people would have said if we had chosen it and kept it a secret...like I did with my girl's name, which everyone says they love Grin

Next time I'm keeping names a secret, people just think they're being helpful if they give their honest opinion!

siofrabeag · 14/10/2014 13:37

I think that's lousy op about your friend - you should also say "that's a lovely name" even if you don't think so - Sullivan is cool (speaking as someone who's maiden name is O' Sullivan ;) ) I also know a Callaghan and he's 'Cal' for short - that was his mother's maiden name and I think it's sweet tribute- also love Flynn - Sully is very cute :)

mymummademelistentoshitmusic · 14/10/2014 13:55

Tbh if my close friend or relative wanted to call a child Sullivan I'd feel obliged to say something. It is awful. Truly. There are loads of lovely names out there to suit each taste, why saddle the poor child with that. I think your friend is being just that - a friend.

DunedinSunshine · 14/10/2014 14:02

I have a good friend whose son's name is Sullivan, often called Sully. It's a great name. Sully is better than Van, in my opinion, if you decide to shorten it. I don't think the negative aspects of the word's meaning in other contexts resonate with many people.

HenriettaTurkey · 14/10/2014 14:20

I love it!

Homebirthquestion · 14/10/2014 16:04

Oh what a disappointment. I came back on here to find out what the monstrosity of a name was. It's great! Love it.

Minesril · 14/10/2014 16:09

I love the name. You'll need to play him lots of Gilbert and Sullivan!

Legionofboom · 14/10/2014 16:42

I'm curious if your friends said why they didn't like the name.

I think it's one thing to say to a close friend 'I think that name could be a mistake because xyz' (depending on the reason given of course) than it is to just say 'oh no, don't use that name I don't like it'

Subhuman · 14/10/2014 16:49

Call your friends by a different name to their own and then claim that its fine cus you don't like their name and they can still use it as a middle name.

TortoiseUpATreeAgain · 14/10/2014 17:01

I thought maybe it was going to be something awful, but Sullivan is fine. Very strange behaviour from your friend (OK, she might not like it, but it's scarcely Adolf or Wangdoodle).

VoyagerII · 14/10/2014 17:27