Middle name, does it really matter?

[FoodieMum3]

We are expecting ds in 3 weeks or so and we both think it would be a nice tribute to FIL to give our son fil's name as his middle name.

The thing is, I really can't say I like the name. It's just a bit, 'meh'. But I'm also thinking, what exactly is the point of a middle name? It will hardly ever be used and I think in general, people choose family names, would that be right?

How did you all choose yours and is it very important to you?

PS I'd rather not say what the name is but just think of a typical English man in his 60's, it was probably the most common baby name when he was born

Personally, I like the idea of using family names as middle names. I think it creates a nice link within families and it's nice to have a 'story' behind your name. I was named after my dad's great-grandmother, and my middle name is a family name on my mum's side that has been passed down through a few generations.

We'll probably use a family name as a middle name for our little one, none of the names on the potential 'middle name list' are names I love enough to consider as first names, but I like the meaning behind them and I think it's a lovely way to honour people who are/have been important to you.

also, just to add that middle names are a useful way of distinguishing between people who have the same first name and surname. For example, it's probably not unreasonable to think that two Amelia Browns or two Oliver Smiths were born in recent years share a birthday, given the popularity of those names. A middle name my be the easiest way of differentiating between in certain situations - for example, medical records. I've come across this more than a few times in work situations... so I think a middle name is definitely useful!

I don't think middle names being family names are important at all. Middle names should be as alternative for the child to use if he/she wishes to when they are older and that's what should be thought about when choosing them.

If it helps I've not got a middle name and never missed having one. You could just save yourself the trouble of deciding!

I think they should be family names. Dd1 has my gran's name so dh got to pick dd2's middle name. I'm meh about it but it's his gran's name so I can't complain.

I think you can do whatever you like,

Use a middle name because you like it
Use a family name
Give a name that is a link to your heritage.

My DSs middle names are for friends of ours. My DDs name will have MIL first name as middle name (Harriet, MIL doesn't like it, and uses her middle name in day to day life!), and I really want to put another name in that will be a link to my home country. It won't be everyone's cup of tea and I will probably have to sneak it past DH, as I think it will be a cute nn as well for her, and want it to be part of her official name.

My DD has my Mils Name for her middle name and I hate it. (Similar to you -the same female name given to practically every woman of her generation) I agreed to it in the recovery room after being awake for over 30 hours and a 23 hour labour.
DH now often calls our dd by both her given names and in the early days my MIL annoyed the hell out of me boasting to everyone that her middle name was after her. She even gave me into trouble for failing to introduce her to people with her full name.

So I'd say, if you have any doubts about it... Don't do it. I wish I hadn't.

Both DH and myself have two middle names, all of which are family names. I really love the idea of having family middle names. My middle name is the same as my mother and grandmothers too, which I think is sweet.
I know what you mean about them possibly being 'meh' though. My most favourite relative, my grandfather, is named Noel - and I am very keen on giving it as a middle name even though it's not my favourite name ever.
I think it's a lovely tribute to a special family member. As long as you don't HATE it!

Can't you do a similar version if it?

Is it a name you can change or update?

My middle name is a family name. My brothers middle name is just a name my parents liked.
DD's middle name is that of a close friend.
I like the idea that middle names are meaningful and have a history or family link. But do what you want, plenty of people don't have middle names and don't miss out!

Our eldest has DH's first name as a middle name and the girls have a variation on their Godmothers name. We didn't use my own name because in all honesty I'm not that keen on either my first or middle names...
it's a bit of a tradition in his family that we both liked

DS1's MN was my grandfathers. DH actually mentioned it when choosing names and I thought it would be great.

DD1's MN was my second favourite name at the time so I chose it for her MN.

DS2's MN was my uncle's name. I really love it.

DD2's MN was MIL's choice. We let her choose as we thought it would be nice and it is a lovely name.

We used family names and they are important both to us and our DC. But bear in mind that second middle names are often omitted from forms and records, so the order is important if you don't (or maybe do...?) want one to get lost.

Thanks for replies. We've decided to do it, we know it will mean the world to FIL.

DS middle name is DH's middle name, FIL middle name, his dads first name. You get the picture. DD has my Nan's first name as her middle name. It's lovely to give them a family name.

My daughters middle name is my best friends name.
She's on the other side of the world, has tried and failed to have a family of her own and in the absence of religion (so no godparents) we decided to give our daughter her name. We decided quite early on and I told my best friend when she was born, cue lots of tears.
Middle names can be whatever you want them to be but I do think some kind of significance is a nice tribute.

Our dc all have family middle names

One of them I don't like (possibly because I dislike the relative) but the dc in question has two middle names so I focus on the one I do like

Tbh their middle names are rarely used anyway