Jayden

[LBNM19]

Finding it really hard to pick a boys name, I've got a little boy called Louie and thinking of Jayden for this one could be shortend to J or middle name will be Joseph as that's my dads name so Jayden Joseph could also be JJ. Honest opinions please :)

I live in a village where there are a wide range of socioeconomic groups.
In the local primary school we have children who have parents that are GPs, farmers, care workers, shop assistants and unemployed.

There are three Jaydens in the school. Of those three families none of the parents work and one couple take methadone.

My observations.

You're a brave woman.

Fid I think it would be bloody marvelous if there were just names rather than "high court judge" names or "tradesperson" names.

I was told that ds1 name was a tradesperson name.

Mind you , I am happily WC and do not aspire to be viewed as MC.

My observations.

Some people are so intent on making themselves feel good about themselves that they make idiots of themselves on the Internet.

Ds1 has a friend called Matthew. He is a drug dealer.
He has a friend called Matthew who is a A* student.

Which stereotype of a name should I chose for Matthew?

Chose whatever stereotype you want for 'Matthew'.

you are an idiot if you think it has the same connotations as some other names. Because it clearly doesn't.

Lewis, as in the Welsh name, is Lewys. I know two children called Jayden - one is a girl, one is a boy so it's not a name I'd ever use as I dislike unisex names.

Sounds like you have a nice circle of friends usual.

Tantrums I think names like Jack, Harry, Charlie, did/do work everywhere from the working man's club to the MCC but now those have been done to death and since the millenium fashions have diverged again.

but people do look down on MC people, there's plenty of sneering on MN for a start. I had it myself from WC exILs, mocking my accent (for example) in a way I wouldn't have dreamt of doing to them - because a) it didn't matter (I was dating/married to their son, FFS!), b) because it's fucking rude and c) because it's horribly snobbish. All done in good fun, of course, but humiliating all the same when you're a shy 18-year-old.

It's a 2-way street and there's fault on both sides.

But you posted to tell the OP that some people might mistake her for a WC person if she used the name Jayden. Like being WC or thought of as WC limits your chances in life.

No I didn't. I said it was not seen as a 'middle class name'. I certainly didn't go on to say the next part - that is what you have supplied.

But as we are being honest, I thought the problem was - and which explains peoples really quite extreme reactions on this thread - that being WC (and poor) DOES limit your life prospects. You are less likely to live in a nice area, less likely to get access to good health care, less likely to get a good education.

Look at the differences in life expectancies between some different London Boroughs.

And this is appalling. That social mobility seems to have stalled or even gone backwards. And people are digging themselves more firmly into their camps, their tribes, no one wanting to come out or mix or give anyone a chance.

that is why I agree with Fid - I am not pushing MC names. I said quite explicitly I liked Joseph because it is 'classless' or 'classic' - I forget which. A name like that doesn't put a 'stamp' on you.

some of the words used on this thread against people identifying as MC have been utterly hateful.

But I guess that's ok because its only MC people you are slagging off.

Ok spero

There is one 15 year old boy called Tyler. He is an A* student. Has ambition to go into politics. Great kid, caring, nice, funny

Then there is the other Tyler who is a school refuser and hangs around causing trouble.

Which stereotype shall I pick for that one- seeing as how I am an idiot for using a "nice" name like Matthew to make my point~?

Spero gave her honest opinion based on her work experience. The rest if this thread is about some people not liking what they hear.

OP asked for honest opinions. Spero gave hers. I don't see a problem here.

You people would hate to hear my headhunter DH talk about names and how they limit people's opportunities in life. Gawwd, we had a tough time choosing DC's names

This is why I used the example of names that often popped up in care proceedings and have so pissed people off. Because I am afraid there ARE some names that crop up more than others. This is a fact and no amount of hating that fact or slagging me off changes it I am afraid. Would that it did. You could call me whatever you liked.

'Tyler' is not one of those names. I could list them if you like but that is probably not a good idea as it will increase by 100 fold the number of people who wish really unpleasant things to happen to me on this thread.

I dont' really understand this level of fuss and nastiness.

It seems to me that some of the people being attacked have simply pointed out a fact which is proven by this thread's very length and content: Jayden has become almost a parody of a name, with very definite connotations.

Just this name. Goodness knows why, but it is. That's a world away from having some sort of sliding scale where all names are judged on their 'class'. The point of what some people are trying to say on this thread is that it's just Jayden. And that's a valid point to make to OP.

You could look at it another way and say that the perfectly nice name of Jayden (and it is a perfectly nice sounding word) has been ruined by a combination of the weird class obsession in this country combined with culture's love of creating a shorthand.

Tantrums names don't get reputations based on someone 'picking' a stereotype for each name out of a choice of two convenietly different children. Come off it.

I love how people are being deliberately obtuse on this thread. If you can't accept that certain names have certain socio-economic associations, regardless of whether such associations are unfair, misguided, pointless or a bastion of an unfair class system, then you live in a different world to me.

Spero has pointed out cold, hard facts. Not judgments. Facts. You may not like it, you may wish to change the status quo. But don't shoot the messenger.

Don't stop Tantrums she is clearly on a roll.

I can play too. I know several Sophies. One has a pony but the other one looks like trouble. I don't know how I am going to contain the cognitive dissonance.

im not "on a roll" Spero

Im asking why knowing several children in a class with this name means that all Jaydons are judged in the same way?

I wonder why there is a problem with choosing a name that you like, because somehow it has been deemed that all XYZ names are bad because they appear WC

I wonder why a dc named Tyler cannot become a high court judge

I wonder why seemingly intelligent people are happy to perpetuate this stereotype and warn people that their child will be judged as somehow inferior because they have a name that is WC or Chavvy or naughty or the name of a child of a drug addict?

It never fails to amaze me how people cannot just look at the child and make a judgement. Rather than assuming all sorts about the parents, the family, their employment history, their financial status.

Im asking why knowing several children in a class with this name means that all Jaydons are judged in the same way?

And here we have the problem with this thread in a nutshell. You are obviously an intelligent woman. You can at least operate a computer.

Read through what you have said again.

All that I and others have been saying is that some names have connotations. Some people will judge. Some people are twats. But why make your child's life harder than it needs to be if you have a choice between two names and one has less baggage?