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Fallen out with husband over babies name please help

55 replies

Ahayes · 07/01/2014 21:38

My husband and I had been trying for a baby for a few years, after having IVF, we were lucky enough to fall pregnant the first time. We now have our beautiful baby boy.

My husband is half French half Italian and I am British. My husband has been adamant from the beginning that the babies first name go well in both English and French. I have not liked any of the names that he does and vice versa. My husbands middle name is Blaise which I love and would like to use as a first name but he would like to use it as a middle name. He really likes the Henry for a first name but I don't particularly like it. Now when I have said I wouldn't mind Blaise Henry at first he agreed, but after trying the name he has said he doesn't feel it works and want to us the name Blaise as a middle name to continue as a tradition. My father is welsh and I quite like names like Owen etc. but this won't work since he wants both French English sounding names. So where do I compromise? I have chosen the name blaise because, as he has requested goes well in both English and French, I like that it's unique and quite masculine. Please help, my son is now 8 days old

OP posts:
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soontobeslendergirl · 07/01/2014 21:52

Congratulations!

I'm not a fan of children being named directly after their parents (middle names are fine) so I se where he is coming from.

So you are looking for another "different" type name that would work well in both France and the UK?

What about:

Dexter
Austin
Gabriel
Gregory
Hugo

or something like Alexander, Benjamin, Daniel, Joseph, Marc, Paul, Sebastian or Thomas would work well.

patienceisvirtuous · 07/01/2014 21:58

Tristan?

patienceisvirtuous · 07/01/2014 21:58

Emile?

Ahayes · 07/01/2014 22:11

I like Tristan, husband only likes a select few; Christian, Sebastian and max. He will have his middle name Blaise, so should I not request Owen as a first name or do I succumb to one from his list?

OP posts:
TalkativeJim · 07/01/2014 22:11

Mabon?

Mabon Blaise goes very well, it's Welsh, and hard to mispronounce!

FunkyBoldRibena · 07/01/2014 22:12

Louis?

TalkativeJim · 07/01/2014 22:13

Um, no. If the middle name is his, then you get more say, not less, with the first. Foot down time, as he doesn't seem to have a problem with doing that! If he just likes those three and you don't, he starts thinking again. Compromise!

justhayley · 07/01/2014 23:19

Take a few day break. Agree not to talk names for a couple of days to let the dust settle - Theres no rush, we didn't name DS till he was 5 1/2 weeks, family were saying how ridiculous I was being and I should just pick something, but we couldn't agree, & I couldn't think straight. Also didn't want to just settle for a name that wasn't HIS name if that makes sense.
He's now Noah and it's really suits him and is just perfect. It wast a name we had ever discussed during pregnancy or early days after birth.
It's stressful but you will get there. He needs to compromise a bit and you need to stay strong and not just give in because you cant be bothered to fight, you'l regret it. Also If husband has the middle name you get more say in the 1st that's only fair.

Congratulations on your baby xxx

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 07/01/2014 23:24

Don't settle on a name you don't like just because your DH does not like your choices either.

You have until baby is 6 weeks old to register the birth - take your time & only go with a name you both like. Trust me, you will agree on one sooner or later Grin.

Congratulations by the way Thanks.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 07/01/2014 23:26

Sorry, no name suggestions at all in my above post Grin.

I like Henry & Max - but also Owen, so not overly helpful.

Would Noah be an option? Or Jack?

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 07/01/2014 23:29

I have friends who couldn't agree. In the end she chose the first name and he chose the middle name. A year on, they both use both names interchangeably. We sometimes call their dc by his 'real' name and sometimes by his middle name. Bizarrely it works well!

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 07/01/2014 23:32

Morgan
Montgomery
I'm pilfering them off a similar thread I remember

Someone on there recommended using a Breton name as it's the perfect combo of welsh and French

MrsFeathersword · 07/01/2014 23:36

Doesn't sound like he is compromising at all?
Dh chose our first dc's name, I chose the middle name. Fortunate enough to have dc2 when we reversed the process. We could never have agreed.

TalkativeJim · 07/01/2014 23:38

Oh yes Breton - how about Yann? Not sure about Yann Blaise though...

Hugo and Gabriel have both been suggested - both excellent I think, also Hector...

Sharaluck · 07/01/2014 23:38

You both need to start again from scratch. Look at all possible names and be a bit more open minded. You need to compromise in a name you both like. Good luck.

Mrswellyboot · 07/01/2014 23:40

Luke

peppapigmustdie · 07/01/2014 23:44

Jack
Elliot
Anthony
Michael
Leon
Jacob

AnotherStitchInTime · 07/01/2014 23:49

Lucas
Nathan
Thomas
Leo
Louis
Raphael
Clement
Paul
Ethan
Adam
Benjamin
Simon
Dorian
David
Bryan
Oscar
Elliot
Jeremy
Vincent
William
Anthony
Robin

Are all names that have been in the top 100 in France that would work here too.

SavoyCabbage · 08/01/2014 00:15

I would stop thinking about it for a while. You have a month yet to decide. There's no need to rush.

Everybody wants you to choose the name because they are excited but it's a big decision and you don't have to make it before you are ready.

natandmat · 08/01/2014 12:35

How about Etienne? I know a gorgeous little boy called this!

freerangeeggs · 08/01/2014 21:24

Ooh Etienne Blaise would be beautiful!

Here are the most recent French top 100 names I can find. It might be helpful.

Perhaps you and your husband could sit down separately and g through them, listing the ones you like, then see if there's any crossover?

Please come back and tell us what you decide :)

Ahayes · 09/01/2014 07:57

I think I am going to have to end up caving in to my husbands wishes. He won't change the order from Henry Blaise to Blaise Henry and he doesn't like any other names I mention. Can I still call him Blaise if that's not his first name? surely he will have an identity problem?

OP posts:
MrsFeathersword · 09/01/2014 08:06

This doesn't sound like a good start to working together as parents, I'm sorry to say Sad
I think you should call his bluff and say you no longer want either name. Why is his word law?

Pooka · 09/01/2014 08:07

Hang on! Where is your input here? Your partner gets to choose first and second names, the order, and to specify that must be french-friendly. What about your history and family and preferences?

atthestrokeoftwelve · 09/01/2014 08:07

I would abandon both names and start again.

What about some Celtic names- the history is common to both Wales and France.

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