Fallen out with husband over babies name please help

[Ahayes]

My husband and I had been trying for a baby for a few years, after having IVF, we were lucky enough to fall pregnant the first time. We now have our beautiful baby boy.

My husband is half French half Italian and I am British. My husband has been adamant from the beginning that the babies first name go well in both English and French. I have not liked any of the names that he does and vice versa. My husbands middle name is Blaise which I love and would like to use as a first name but he would like to use it as a middle name. He really likes the Henry for a first name but I don't particularly like it. Now when I have said I wouldn't mind Blaise Henry at first he agreed, but after trying the name he has said he doesn't feel it works and want to us the name Blaise as a middle name to continue as a tradition. My father is welsh and I quite like names like Owen etc. but this won't work since he wants both French English sounding names. So where do I compromise? I have chosen the name blaise because, as he has requested goes well in both English and French, I like that it's unique and quite masculine. Please help, my son is now 8 days old

pooka the Op, chose Blaise and she won't move about it!

So he wants the tradition of Blaise as a middle name-so why can't you pick the first name?

I admit I do like Sebastian & Max-but if you don't, that's it!

I love the idea of a Welsh name.

But the dh likes Blaise. It's his middle name. He is putting foot down over it being middle name rather than first, and putting foot down over Henry being the first name, having already specified that the name must be anglo/French.

Henry Blaise is the name he wants. So I would stick by my query about where is the op's preference in this. She likes Owen too. She likes Blaise.

Perhaps the best thing is to go right back to the drawing board here. Ditch Henry. Ditch Blaise. Find another anglo/French name. Perhaps introduce a welsh name in recognition of her heritage.

I'd also wonder whether the dh is going to insist on pronunciation as on-ri rather than hen-ri. Henry doesn't actually strike me as being the easiest anglo/French compromise name as the pronunciation is different.

Me - I like Emil. :)

Please post your DH's list and your list and let us vote

Husbands list:
(Blaise as middle name) last name Is Italian
Christian
Henry
Sébastien
Max

My list:
Owen
Evan
Tristan
Graham (but Canadians will pronounce this graam, I think)
Others I like have been taken by family that just recently had sons.

Christian and Tristan are rather similar in sound, can you choose together from those?

I am sorry to say this, but I much prefer your DH's list, sorry.

I like Sébastien, Max & Tristan.

All lovely with Blaise as a mn.

Emil is nice in French, in fact I prefer most names in French.

Of the names suggested by posters I think Adam goes really well with Blaise.

Alexander Blaise?

I'm not keen on Blaise for a first name. You just have to keep going and writing lists till you get there in the end. You could ask for some family input. (But only if they agree with you.)

Which do you prefer?

Henry Blaise
Owen Blaise

You shouldn't just give in to what he wants, if you can't agree scrap everything and start again or you will end up resenting it.
Fwiw I love Blaise,
Owen Blaise would be my choice if Blaise is definitely out as a first name.
But I really do think you need to forget the lot and start again after a few days with new options.

I prefer Henry (sorry op!). Have you thought about the Welsh name Ieuan? (Yiyoon). I like the sound of that and think it works well with the middle name.

Owen Blaise is lovely,

Whose choice is surname? DSs have DP surname so I got priority on first name. DDs got my surname so he chose their first names.

I prefer Owen blaise.

Assuming that your ds with have the Italian surname I think Owen (your side) blaise (your dh's French heritage) and surname (your dh's Italian heritage) seems to cover all bases.

I am aware I am probably lowering the tone slightly, but there is a Harry Potter character called Blaise Zabini (Slytherin) whose mother was considered to be a 'black widow'.

Just thought I should mention it with the whole Blaise plus Italian surname thing.

And doesn't leave one partner having full control/ownership of all parts of the name..

Ideally though I think you both need to go back to basics and come up with more options if you can't agree on the ones you have so far.

from the OP, so one side doesn't have ownership of the name. The OP suggested Blaise as the first name, her DH said OK to Blaise but as a second name let's chose something we both like as a first name, but they can't...

BTW Blaise is not a very nice french name. Henry Blaise sounds better than Owen Blaise, even if on the whole Owen is the better name.

I suppose the surname will be his with all the children, I haven't changed mine but I'm sure he wouldn't be happy with them having my last name. His last name is Italian, and mine is very english

Before any decision is made I think you need to be honest with yourselves about how and where you are going to live - if you are going to live in England then the boy needs an English/Welsh name that might play well in France. If you're going to live in France he needs a French name that nods a little bit to the Pays Du Galle.

Growing up in England with a name like "Blaise" would be a nightmare for a boy.

"Max" is not a name - it's a abbreviation of Maximilian and being given an abbreviated name like "Tony" or "Mike" is not a good start for a kid let's be honest...

And... hang on a minute - a half French, half Italian guy hooks up with a Welsh girl and then wants to dictate a name that works well in English and French ??? Where's the Welsh ? Where's his respect for your heritage ? And where's the Italian? And where is his head if he thinks he can make a big fuss about his national heritage while ignoring yours - and this baby's ?

Where will this boy grow up and go to school?
Will his Father teach him French and Italian from day one (and throughout his early life)? Is there family to consider ? Or is it just macho stuff of the father wanting the son to reflect him from day one?

Let me tell you that Blaise would be a VERY, VERY tricky name for a boy to go through school with in England...

Montgomery is the obvious name to please all parties - a place in France, a place in Wales and a fine old traditional name in England.
(and by the way, living with the name Monty has been pretty good..)

Otherwise...
Morgan (trad' Welsh name and famous French rugby player)
Hugo
Zak (no-one on earth can mispronounce it) but must be christened Zachary or Zachariah so he has the choice later in life...
Theo
Xavier
Aled
Bryn
Marc
Gwilym (or Guillaume) or make up a compromised spelling... One of the oldest names in Both Welsh and French.

and if you're feeling a bit Stone Henge and spiritual - Emrys - sounds GREAT in a French accent.

a nice Welsh name like Iestyn or Ieuan might work?

I don't see either one of you compromising, so I think you should each draw up a list of ten names and each gets to strike two off the other's list.

You use the lists to come up with both a first and a middle name. You will both have to act in good faith here and not include outrageous names that haven't a hope along with the only two names you like (so no list should include eight names like Ethelred along with Owen and Blaise for instance, or Sebastian and Blaise, if you get my drift). Maybe you could agree that Henry and Blaise are off limits since they are bones of contention?

I think you also need to be practical as MiniMonty suggests, and consider both the background and the future milieu of the child.

There are some circles where Blaise would go down well and some where it wouldn't. If you're not from an Old Catholic Family whose ancestral pile boasts a priest hole then I would forget about Blaise as a first name.

This is the fiirst of many parenting challenges that lie ahead ( and quite a small challenge at that).

If you are finding it difficult to find a middle ground over choosing your baby's name then you better brace yourself for the years ahead.
Couples have to revisit this idea of finding a middle ground many times when raising a baby, whether it's ofer discipline/diet/bed times/ sleep overs/ curfew times/ nights out alone/ who takes time off work.

I would you suggest that you take some time to re-evaluate the ground between you if you are finding something as simple as naming your child so difficult.

There are bigger challenges ahead.