DH wants to name DC2 after himself

[ShadowStorm]

Question - would anyone do this?

DH has declared that if DC2 is a boy, he thinks that DC2 should have his name (first and middle), as DH has a good name. DH's name is lovely, but it's DH's name, so I think this it's a bad idea to recycle it for a DS. Firstly, I'd like DC2 to have a first name that they don't share with a close living relative, and secondly, we've already used DH's first name as DS's middle name. So, we would potentially have the following situation (names have been changed):

DH called Andrew Luke Storm
DS1 called Matthew Andrew Storm
DS2 called Andrew Luke Storm Junior.

DH insists that the "Junior" on the end of his name would make all the difference

I'm concerned that DS2 would feel that we couldn't be bothered to give him a name all of his own, especially as his first name would also be the same as DS1's middle name, and would get a bit hacked off at being known as DH junior.

Am I being daft here? Or am I justified in telling DH to think again?

DD has my name. Its a family tradition, and I don't actually use it, being called by my manky middle name. Its a lovely name, and There are lots of different shortenings, so everyone has the same name on their birth certificates and an individual personal name.
If DHs name is similar with different derivations, then use it and pick a shortened version.

My DH is called Keith, so no son of mine will ever have his DFs name!

@ Hec.

I'd do a compromise but I'd not allow the same name as DH. I think it's weird.

You could insist to your DH he needs to write to the bank and utilities and have Snr. added to his name for everything, see if that puts him off?

I would never do it personally, goes against my values of individuality too much.

I have known 2 Juniors (never knew what their real names were. 'Junior' suited them, although I'm not sure how it would suit an older man and at what age they would start using their real names.

Op if you don't like the idea, don't just go along with it. Tell your dh that it isn't happening.

I would use his own arguments against his name and say that whilst he is obviously a very nice Andrew that you also knew lots of horrible Andrew's while you were at school (I'm assuming you can immediately remember some that you've forgotten about if necessary ) and thus if he is automatically allowed to disqualify all the names you suggested on that basis, then you are too - and thus Andrew as a first name goes out of the window. Nothing he can say - unless he wants to let you have the names that you like back on the list too!

Or - and it galls me to say this - how do you get on with your MIL? If you get on with her well and can prime talk to her in advance, could you say that as he obviously thinks that his parents are better at choosing names than he is (you obviously have no problems with choosing names, sounds like he is the one with the problem!) then maybe he should talk to his mum and find out what other names that she likes and maybe he will like one of them. This will obviously only work if you get on well with his mum and you are able to prime her with some of your favourites beforehand! If she is of the vicious old bat MIL variety then steer clear

I would also start talking to your husband about how you are going to go about choosing compromise names as it is fairly obvious that neither of you like each other's first choice of names - so you'll need to work out a fair process so that you both end up with a name you don't really want quite like rather than one of you loving and one hating the name...

(and agreed - another vote here against reusing his own name - dreadful thing to inflict on a child. Before even looking at name books we decided on 'rules' for selecting a name - ie no current close family names, no friends/friend's kids names, nothing beginning with either of our initials - or DS1's initial for ds2, etc etc. Meant we both knew where we stood when thinking of names)

Im named after my mum (dads fault! ) and please don't let him - it's caused the utmost confusion all my life.

They called me separate names for the first 3 months of my life and then agreed to disagree and so I am called a shortened version of my middle name. It's been the bane of my life!

Bit keen on himself. It excludes your family altogether. Out of interest is he an only child, was he a younger son who resented an older sibling getting their dad's name?

It may not end there if you do have a DD btw.

Andrea
Charlotte
Francesca
Frederica
Georgina
Josephine
Michaela
Nigella

The point about DS1 potentially feeling overlooked and second best if a DS2 is named entirely after DH (when we didn't do this for DS1) is a good one, and something I hadn't considered.

DH adores DS, so this line of argument could very well help to bring DH to his senses (and help me avoid days and days of conversation along the lines of "But whyyyyy don't you want to call a DS2 Andrew Luke????"). DH is generally reasonable, but from time to time, like now, he can get very fixated on things and a bit blinkered when it comes to whatever it is he's fixated on.

And any DD would not be called the equivalent of "Andrea". DH's bright idea for a girl's name was to use my entire name for a DD. I vetoed this, but it seems from the whole boy's name thing that he's assumed this is more to do with me not wanting to share my name than how I think it would impact a DD.

Ugh, no way! Sharing the surname is enough for me. I prefer DC to have unique names as they are unique.

If I were you, I would give dh's middle name as your ds2's middle name. All fair and square.

Shadow, you don't need to bring him to his senses. You don't want to call DS2 this. So don't.

Urgh, I've just though, can you imagine gasping your DH's name in an intimate moment and the image of your toddler DS rising unbidden to your mind instead? Would put me right off my stroke...

If I met somebody who'd named his son after himself I don't think I could stop myself from laughing, sorry. Bad idea imo.

Wow DH LOVES himself doesn't he?

Lancelottie's thought has to be the best argument against this!

Very strange.
Very egotistical
Very unimaginative.

And not all Andrews are nice. My stalker was an Andrew. He sent me unpleasant emails and called my office to let me know he had figured out where I worked.

I think the point about poor DS1 wondering why daddy didn't 'share' (euuugggh) his name with him is a very good one.

Or just fold your arms and tell him no.

Your DH is a strange one, ShadowStorm.

Being rather negative......
Imagine if you and DH separate on bad terms and you have to go around calling your son by the same name as your ex....
Ridiculous self-centred idea.

My brother has the same name as my dad and his dad. It has never occurred to me that it's a weird thing to do, but it is now I think about it.

Unfortunately my husband has the same name, as does my brother's best friend and several extended family members, which can get a bit confusing but I have just realised the extent of this weirdness, thanks to this thread

It is an awful idea.
How important does your DH think he is? Does he expect Andrew Luke III, IV etc.?

I read something a while ago saying that naming after yourself can cause all sorts of problems because it makes it clear that you expect the DC to be like you on some level, and they may rebel, and try to be as different as possible, or they may feel a failure when they can't be like you.

Let your DC be individuals. Not tell them they have to be copies of you.

Is your dh 81 like my FIL?

He is called David Robert.
One set of twins are called Robert David and....David Robert.

Ridiculous.

my dh has the same name as his df

still confusing now

especially when I am with my lovely mil and we are both married to 'name'

I wouldn't like that at all

I think the middle name being Luke would be great and choose something new for his first name.

I'd be happy with Luke Andrew though.
in that case both boys would've the same middle name, but he has dad's middle name. I think that's a good compromise, if he can't budge otherwise.

yes it's his kid too, but the junior thing is a bit OTT.

perhaps he is hoping for a girl and would be happy with Andrea Lucia?

good luck OP

Um, he's already named DC1 after himself. And that's enough.

I put my foot down on this (breaking x generations of tradition!) so DS has his dads name as his middle name instead.

It doesn't matter now, and to some people it wouldn't matter at all, but DP has all sorts of issues with banks, insurance etc. not looking at birthdates or initials and getting him and his father muddled up.

The best was when a bank refused to speak to anyone (DP has his mums middle initial), him, his dad, or his mum because none of their details exactly matched the account they were trying to sort out. They had to all go down together and wheedle the bank manager into fixing it!