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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

DH wants to name DC2 after himself

99 replies

ShadowStorm · 03/07/2013 22:28

Question - would anyone do this?

DH has declared that if DC2 is a boy, he thinks that DC2 should have his name (first and middle), as DH has a good name. DH's name is lovely, but it's DH's name, so I think this it's a bad idea to recycle it for a DS. Firstly, I'd like DC2 to have a first name that they don't share with a close living relative, and secondly, we've already used DH's first name as DS's middle name. So, we would potentially have the following situation (names have been changed):

DH called Andrew Luke Storm
DS1 called Matthew Andrew Storm
DS2 called Andrew Luke Storm Junior.

DH insists that the "Junior" on the end of his name would make all the difference

I'm concerned that DS2 would feel that we couldn't be bothered to give him a name all of his own, especially as his first name would also be the same as DS1's middle name, and would get a bit hacked off at being known as DH junior.

Am I being daft here? Or am I justified in telling DH to think again?

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defineme · 03/07/2013 23:03

It's just macho shit.

lottiegarbanzo · 03/07/2013 23:08

Such a weird idea. Why would you even consider agreeing to that?

Ragusa · 03/07/2013 23:24

No, I would never do that unless it was the cultural norm.

Original poster

ShadowStorm · 04/07/2013 00:08

DH claims that he's not being egotistical

Apparently all the other boy's names I have come up with are either silly, or DH has met an unpleasant person called by that name. Given that "Andrew" isn't uncommon, it's amazing that he's never met a nasty "Andrew"....

(And incidentally, yes, he did suggest that if DC2 was a DD, that she should have my name. We have since agreed on a different girl's name if DC2 is a DD.)

OP posts:

BOF · 04/07/2013 00:20

Just tell him NO. It's completely unreasonable.

I would go so far as to say that I wouldn't marry and have children with a man if I knew he would deprive me of naming my children.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 04/07/2013 00:24

Quite apart from anything else, I would worry that DS1 would feel like he wasn't 'good enough' to be DH's namesake - because the whole named-after-oneself thing IS very egotistical, and also has connotations of Here Is My True Heir - and that you just gave him the middle name hoping that DS2 would be more worthy.

Also, it's a naff idea in its entirety. There are more than three good boys' names in the world.

PerchedOnMyPeddleStool · 04/07/2013 00:25

No.
Reverse the names if you must give a 'given' name.
Luke Andrew
Or even
Luke Oscar/Paul/Bartholomew/Joseph
Whatever.

Just don't make DS1 unimportant enough to NOT take the name and DS2 unimportant enough to not have his own name. Geddit?!

PerchedOnMyPeddleStool · 04/07/2013 00:27

Crossed with tortoise, she had the same idea of 'not good enough'.

lottiegarbanzo · 04/07/2013 00:29

He just sounds completely lacking in imagination.

You've got to stop the 'you come up with suggestions, he shoots them down' approach, as it means you do all the work, he makes the decision. So, a list each, swap, remove dislikes but leave at least five likes and maybes, then use those ten to arrive at an agreed short list of five.

K8Middleton · 04/07/2013 00:30

Wow. How massively self obsessed and unoriginal of him.

You are obviously not wrong. You have to stop him... for the sake of your unborn child

TigOldBitties · 04/07/2013 00:35

I don't think naming after a parent is weird perse, its quite traditional.

However I think the fact that your first child was a boy and you didn't do this but used DHs name as a middle name would make it totally bizarre to use it for your second. Maybe if you had a DD first but no it would seem like you didn't think DS1 was good enough for the name or something.

If its really important you could use the Andrew as a middle name again but I mean Andrew isn't a special name it's just an average run of the mil type name. Your DH needs to get over himself, the ship sailed with your DS1.

lottiegarbanzo · 04/07/2013 00:37

As for adding 'junior', you haven't said he's American but if not, it is 'I've watched too much American telly to know my own mind anymore' and naffness personified. Sorry, that sounds really unkind but I've never heard of this being used in the UK.

Agree with others too, that if ds2 is 'dad junior', ds1 will feel like 'unsuccessful trial run'.

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved · 04/07/2013 00:39

I actually think it sounds like you (he!) don't think your first born is up to much!

Naming concention is that It's supposed to be the first born to be 'so-and-so junior', so by leap frogging him it makes it sound like he wasn't worthy of carrying his fathers name. Nice.

Startail · 04/07/2013 00:41

No, I know one family with Rob and Robert and, as far as I can make out, it's Dad that's shortened. Very confusing.

Middle names fine (so long as it's not a terribly dated name) DSIL and me are fine our mum's and DD1 has never complained at having my NN as her middle name.

DH, however got his much older fathers and got teased each sept. when full names were read out at school. Not Alfred, but in that vein.

Theyoniwayisnorthwards · 04/07/2013 00:48

My DP's parents did this with his younger brother, his brother now says if he had a son he might do the same. They all live about 2 mins apart and see each other daily. So it would be 'Bob' 'Bob junior' and 'Bob junior junior', can you imagine the confusion?!

Angelina7 · 04/07/2013 00:53

How about naming him;

(a new name of choice) Luke Storm

Luke (new middle name of choice) Storm

.... Everybody's happy???!!!! Xx

K8Middleton · 04/07/2013 01:13

Or just point out dc2 has his name. His surname. Unless he wand that up for debate too..?

Angelina7 · 04/07/2013 01:17

True, and Storm is the best one of his names anyway and if it is a boy he will always have that surname.

TalkativeJim · 04/07/2013 01:28

Crass

Embarassing

Reflects very poorly on your DH (everyone will secretly think he's a self-important arse)

And boring!! Takes all the fun out of naming

And, worst of all - if it were your first child, it could be entirely down to the self-importance thing (as above), But for your second son??? Nooooo. Way odd. Everyone will be wondering why - most of all the children themselves. And while your eldest would be relieved not to be the one with the crap, probably slightly unfashionable not-even-properly-your-own name, he will also always wonder why he wasn't chosen to be saddled with it.

Just no.

TiredyCustards · 04/07/2013 07:09

Tacky beyond belief! This man must be stopped.

NooMyx · 04/07/2013 08:05

I personally would absolutely veto that idea. It would definitely make me think that
a) the baby's dad was quite full of himself.
b) the parents couldn't be bothered to think of a name for their second child.

I wouldn't like children sharing a middle name either, but that would matter a lot less, I guess. I'd probably push for a whole new name as first name, then "Luke" as middle name, if having his own name in the mix in some form was that important for DH.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 04/07/2013 08:13

So not only does his eldest child have his first name as a middle name, but he wants his second child to have his entire name?

He does realise they are separate people from him, doesn't he?

Perhaps suggest a compromise. They can have identities all of their very own, but he can make them wear a hat that says FATHERED BY ANDREW LUKE STORM - MANLY OWNER OF SUPER SPERM on it, and on the third friday of every month he can stroll through town with his bollocks in a wheel barrow and a tshirt with pictures of his kids on it.

ChasedByBees · 04/07/2013 08:13

If I felt my DH wanted to do this and vetoed every other name, I'd register the baby before I left the labour ward with a name of my choice. I'm not usually so unilateral about decisions but this would be a special case.

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 04/07/2013 08:13

Don't stick Junior on the end even if you do do it, unless you are American! Otherwise in 30 years time you'll inevitably find you have a grandson called "Andrew Luke Storm" III :o

We did think about using DH's name for our DS2 as we have a huge problem finding boys names (girls are much easier), as we have tried to make them work in all the languages that feature in our families, as well as having all the usual requirements and oddities parents have when choosing a name :o DH's name has a common short form used in all the languages but he is known as the long form, so we would have called DS2 by the short form, which would have limited confusion. DH's name is also commonly used for babies/ children now, so wouldn't stand out as a "Dad name" :o DH doesn't have a middle name though and we would have given DS2 his own middle name.

In the end we decided against it just because it looked so unimaginative! But we ended up giving DS2 a name that didn't meet our language criteria, so he does stand out as "not from" where we live due to his name... Probably doesn't matter these days but DH was worried about it - he thought people who met DS2 independently of us later would judge him based on his first name.

If your DH's real name has a short form he doesn't use and that you both like you could compromise by using that? not the same middle name too though, that's just weird :o

OhTiger · 04/07/2013 08:20

My exH suggested this. My response was "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NO.". As yours should be.

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