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Baby names

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Original poster

MIL and name

82 replies

bettybets · 31/07/2012 15:09

We talked baby names with my MIL and my DD1 middle name is named after my mum, after talking we said we would use MIL name as the middle name for DD2. However i didnt really think about it and now i really dont like the name.

Really worried about telling MIL as she can be really funny and i know she will go on about this for ages. She has already told some people that DD2's middle name will be her name.

i feel awful, but i really dont want to use her name.

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IHeartKingThistle · 31/07/2012 15:17

Oh dear. Awkward for you - but I feel a bit sorry for your MIL here to be honest!

It's your baby and you can name her what you like, of course. However, if it was me I think I'd still use it. I'd be worried about it causing rifts and I'd feel too guilty! She must have been chuffed that you were going to use her name.

Could you have 2 middle names? Or a shortened version of MIL's name?

Olympicnmix · 31/07/2012 15:19

Can you say what your MIL name is? Does she have a middle name? Perhaps we can suggest a happy compromise?

Original poster
bettybets · 31/07/2012 15:25

Her name is lynn...

OP posts:
SpottyTeacakes · 31/07/2012 15:26

Yes, does mil have a middle name? Or could she help choose a middle name? I feel sorry for her too!

SpottyTeacakes · 31/07/2012 15:26

That's a nice middle name Smile

TheSurgeonsMate · 31/07/2012 15:28

Like KingThistle I'd just use it.

I think that this is one of the main uses of middle names, to share the love and make family connections. In fact, my own dd has a family middle name meant to connect to my mother which it turns out my mother doesn't like. I mean, it's not a great name, but I'd have expected her to be pleased with my effort there rather than moaning about it!

If you think middle names are also about choices for the child in later life then just bung in another. We go that part wrong too, actually. Perhaps I'm not the best person to ask.

Catsmamma · 31/07/2012 15:28

well, you have set a precedent!

and backed it up by discussing middle names....i think you are done!

CalamityJones · 31/07/2012 15:29

I feel it's really a bit mean if you've promised her and she's excited about it. Lynne is a pretty name.. can't you try and come round to using it?

FluffyJawsOfDoom · 31/07/2012 15:30

I think it's a bit late now you've said you'll do it, tbh Confused

Yama · 31/07/2012 15:33

Lynn is fine.

I have a family member's middle name. I don't really like the name but like having the link with the family member. Hope that makes sense.

HugeMedalTally · 31/07/2012 15:33

I think you should use it, even if you don't like it much.

You said you would, and even if you hadn't, you used your mum's name first time around, so it seems only fair to use her name this time.

Andeven if you don't like it, it is fairly inoffensive, at the very least, and people rarely use middle names, anyway.

ChunkyPickle · 31/07/2012 15:36

Middle names are great for this sort of thing. No-one really uses them, they just sit there. I'd just use it.

Original poster
bettybets · 31/07/2012 15:38

The thing is i really dont like my MIL she is a trouble causer and not a nice person. At the time i said we'd use it was when all the trouble we've had with her was in the past and i'd had a good evening with her.

My mother is annoyed about it and feels i am being pressured to use it from her, knowing she will fall out with us.

I really wish i'd not said it to her now

OP posts:
Olympicnmix · 31/07/2012 15:38

Madelynn?
Evelyn?
Anne Boleyn

osterleymama · 31/07/2012 15:40

I think you should use it, it would be embarrassing for her if you back out now that she's told people. It obviously means a lot to her and it's only a middle name.

SpottyTeacakes · 31/07/2012 15:43

What does your dh think?

Original poster
bettybets · 31/07/2012 15:44

he knows it will cause trouble if we dont use it.

He says 'well you've said it now'

OP posts:
seeker · 31/07/2012 15:44

You said it, you can't change your mind now. It would be very unfair. And it sounds vindictive as well-you started by saying you didn't like the name- then went on to say you didn't like your mil!

birdofthenorth · 31/07/2012 15:48

I think Lynn is a good middle name & it wouldn't be worth upsetting mil by ditching it. I have set the same precedent by using DM's name as DD1's mn. If we have DD2 I will feel obliged to use DMIL's as an mn- it's Judith, which is harder to live with for a baby than Lynn in my mind! We might get away with Something Jude instead, I hope. But Lynn is fine, I think.

What first names do you have in mind?

Original poster
bettybets · 31/07/2012 15:53

isabel

OP posts:
Kayano · 31/07/2012 16:04

My mum is Kathleen

So we used Caitlin as a middle name (pronounced like Kathleen in Ireland but said Kate-lynn by many)

Could you not do something like that?
You should use it

Oh and your mum should butt out. She didn't have a problem with you using her name so to winge about using family names and 'pressure' is a bit lame

DizzyGoldBee · 31/07/2012 16:10

I think you're going to have to use it, well not have to but really, I do think you should as you have said you will already. It's not like her middle name is something like Ermintrude after all! (apologies to any Ermintrudes out there!)

TheSurgeonsMate · 31/07/2012 16:21

Good point kayano - your Mum shouldn't be trying to pull the ladder up after herself!

Nancyclancy · 31/07/2012 16:30

I think you should use it! I don't like my mil but would feel a bit mean if I was in the same situation.

RabidAnchovy · 31/07/2012 16:30

Well if you used your mothers name as a middle name and you have told your MIL you will use her name as a middle name this time then I think it is mean nasty and petty to change your mind now, also I bet your own mother was not feeling that you were pushed in to using her name.
A middle name does not get used that much, use it and get over it