MIL and name

[bettybets]

We talked baby names with my MIL and my DD1 middle name is named after my mum, after talking we said we would use MIL name as the middle name for DD2. However i didnt really think about it and now i really dont like the name.

Really worried about telling MIL as she can be really funny and i know she will go on about this for ages. She has already told some people that DD2's middle name will be her name.

i feel awful, but i really dont want to use her name.

I don't think you can use any variations on it as you told her you would use her name not a nod to it.

I would do what you want, and take the consequences. I would explain it away by saying it didn't go with the first name - ie Isobel Lynn doesn't sound that nice because the the repetition of L.

Ideally, I would choose something that represents your MIL in some way - ie her mn, a name like Carolyn, Evelyn etc, or maybe a name of her favourite flower (Rose).

If you feel strongly, I wouldn't just use Lynn. You don't get to name many babies and it is important to like the name you choose.

Go for 2 middle names
have something you like then lynn 3rd.

I think people should get to name their own children. My MIL wanted us to call dd1 'LeShawn' and stopped speaking to us when we said no.

However, you have told your MIL that you are naming dd2 after her and you have named dd1 after your own mother. I don't think you should take it back. It's unkind.

Lynn is a fine name.

I do empathise OP but I am going with the majority of posters here and will say use it. We could be in a very similar situation to you if DC2 turns out to be a boy - I made a promise which I would quite like to go back on now but I won't. No-one will use it anyway and think of the brownie points. Plus if she causes trouble in the future you can use it as evidence of your own selfless genoristy

LeShawn? Seriously? Wow!

Was LeShawn a longstanding family name savoy? Or she just fancied it?

I was expected to let my MIL name my DCs.
I didn't.

Mrs DV, if you HAD let MIL name them, do you know what she would have picked?

My mum wanted me to have a Lucinda, or Nicola. No thanks mum!

She was pretty eclectic in her choices for 12 children. I have never met another man named the same as my OH
Think very posh, very English, begins with an A.

Archibald?
Alfred?
Armadillo?
Artichoke?

Cinnabar - you haven't met many people called Armadillo? Where have you been living? Not somewhere posh, obv.

I don't think you can back out either OP and Lynn really isn't bad at all.

When I was pregnant with DS, DH took our short list to MIL and came back with a different one, from which I was supposed to pick a name. Like hell I did. Now pg with DS2, I told DH that if he even whispers our short list to his mother, I will also pick the surname.

How greedy was she??? 12 children and she wanted to name yours too!

Dead common, me.

I'd say Armadillo is about as uncommon as it gets

It would be SOOOOO pointed to withdraw from your own suggestion, especially when you have set a precedent with the other Gran. If she was upset by it that would be entirely understandable even if she was normally a total sweety, for your Mum to think she is holding you to ransom is not fair.

It may have a bridge-building effect - it could improve relations. :)

It would be a tremendous snub to both her and your dh to not use it.

It shold be lynn too, the only acceptable variation would be lynette ( little lynn).

You could cause a real rift w your dh over this, never mind her. You think she's bad now - nothing comared with how she'll be if you backed down.

Your mum is seriously stirring here and could cause real trouble. i know my mum was v. Jealous of my mil. It never occured to be, but there can be real rivalry bwn grannies, and doing this would caiuse a lot of problems.

And if nothing else you need to show integrity and be true to your word.

She was lovely but matriarch doesn't even begin to cover it.
No to armadillo .
I think it's quite nice in a gwinnie Paltrow sort of way

My xmil wanted me to call dd Lindsay or Helena-Louise and was most put out when I said no.

The ratbag.

But op and her dh have told her they will do it. Totally different to say no I. The first place than to offer to do something, so special and personal, then withdraw it, ESP after the mil is so eased and has told people!

My mother wanted me to call my son Hadyn. No thanks!

My MIL keeps her mouth shut but she did make a cat's bum when SIL and BIL named their DS Owen.