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Original poster

MIL and name

82 replies

bettybets · 31/07/2012 15:09

We talked baby names with my MIL and my DD1 middle name is named after my mum, after talking we said we would use MIL name as the middle name for DD2. However i didnt really think about it and now i really dont like the name.

Really worried about telling MIL as she can be really funny and i know she will go on about this for ages. She has already told some people that DD2's middle name will be her name.

i feel awful, but i really dont want to use her name.

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Dogsmom · 31/07/2012 16:33

My ex's mother was a vile woman, I really couldn't bear her so I understand completely what it's like to have a mil from hell however she was still his Mom and he loved her.

If I were you I'd use the name for your husbands sake, he loves his Mom and if it weren't for her then he wouldn't be here and it's nice to acknowledge her even if she's a dragon, she seems to be pleased & proud about you using her name and it would hurt her if you changed your mind.

Linn isn't a bad name either and will only ever be used on forms etc.

Dogsmom · 31/07/2012 16:36

Forgot to add, imagine if you have a baby boy, you could be the MIL one day and have a daughter in law who does the same to you, how would it make you feel?

BigBandwitch · 31/07/2012 16:37

What Lyndsay or Evelyn?

BigBandwitch · 31/07/2012 16:39

oh it's a middle name? that's fine for a middle name imo It's pretty and simple. It would balance out a fancier first name.

CheerfulYank · 31/07/2012 16:43

I've always liked Linnea (pronounced LI-nay-uh here in the States), if that helps.

kasbah72 · 31/07/2012 16:49

Why don't you just give her 2 middle names? You could use some major reverse psychology and say that your first daughter absolutely loved the other name but you didn't want to upset your mil and so decided to use both.

Isabel xxx Lynn would maybe feel like a compromise that you are happier with but not make a massive massive statement against her.

I know how sick it can make you feel when you feel held hostage over names. We never said we would use a family name but the grief we have had with every single pregnancy just because we haven't named our children after our fil is just horrible. If he had been happy with a middle name tribute then I would have done it without any problem at all but only a first name copy was acceptable Sad

Oh, you could also fiddle it so the 2 names sound like a different one when said quickly together iykwim... something like Isabel Maddy Lynn or Isabel Caro Lynn??!

RabidAnchovy · 31/07/2012 16:50

If you used your mothers name as a middle name it is only fair you use your husbands mothers too, after all she is his mother and this child IS as much his as yours

AThingInYourLife · 31/07/2012 17:11

You have committed to using it now.

And use the actual name, not a different name that has a passing similarity.

All the best DD2s have their Grandma's name as a middle name Wink

MagdalenaAlec · 31/07/2012 17:21

Awkward indeed.. TBH I think you should give it a try, aside from your commitment to MIL, it is a nice name and that is what mn are here for.

If you really do not want to use it though, perhaps you can tell her your DD's mn will be after someone from your DH's side of the family (maybe her mother has a nice name? someone who meant a lot to your MIL?)?
Or try to use a similar name as it has been already suggested? (I am thinking about Evelyn too, but also Adeline, Marilyn... What kind of names do you like?)
Perhaps you can also ask her to choose the mn from a list of names your DH and you have approved? She should feel at least as honored..

AThingInYourLife · 31/07/2012 17:32

She's already told people this grandchild is going to be called after her.

She will feel humiliated, not honoured, if invited to help choose another name.

You just can't do this to people.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 31/07/2012 17:37

I am a selfish cow about naming my babies. No one else gets a look in.
But even I think you have done it know. You told her you would AND you have already used your mums name.
I think you should do as you promised.
If you don't you can hardly blame you mil for being 'difficult'

VolAuVent · 31/07/2012 17:57

Could you use some variation of the name that you prefer, or a name which has the "lin" sound in it somewhere?

Ashlynn, Evelynn, Marilyn, Lynette, Belinda, Madeleine, Caitlyn, Gwendolyn, Carolyn, Jocelyn, Lena, Jaquelyn, Linnea?

Or how about a name which has a similar meaning or connection? Lynn means lake, waterfall, pool.

Bethesda (Beth) - a pool in Jerusalem supposed to have healing powers, means "house of mercy"
Tallulah - "leaping water"
Brooke - water or small stream
Zarya/Zaria - water priestess in mythology

CeCeMazycktowinparaolympicgold · 31/07/2012 18:12

If it is any help I used my MIL middle name for DD's middle name as her first name didn't really flow with the first name.

I agree though it is too late to back out now and tbh Lynn is perfectly nice for a middle name.

SurprisinglyCurvaceousPirate · 31/07/2012 18:18

I'm with everyone else OP - you can't say it and then go back on it. It would be humiliating for your MIL.

It's a nice name (certainly not anything offensive and horrible about it) and it will be nice for your daughters to have a special connection to both sides of the family.

As a mum of two boys I would be upset if my DIL was quite happy to use her mum's name for DD1 but then decided against mine for DD2 (despite telling me she would!). Not kind.

FriskyBivalves · 31/07/2012 18:26

You could cheat a bit with Evangeline? We were thinking of that for DC2 until he was born...or Linnet? I'm sure I've come across one of those before. Is it a bird or something ?

NarkedRaspberry · 31/07/2012 18:26

Oh dear. You've said it so I think you're stuck with it. It would be unkind to change your mind. The only way out I can think of is if she has a family middle name you could use or if you could use her maiden name?

Olympicnmix · 31/07/2012 18:29

Isobel Linnet is nice, named in MIL's honour

GnocchiNineDoors · 31/07/2012 18:33

Well, you did say it.

I think you should put it in there. first name, your choice MN, lynn surname.

I know a Lynnanne if that appeals.

AThingInYourLife · 31/07/2012 18:45

The name needs to be Lynn. That is MIL's name.

Not Linnet (great name though, if you gave the child this as a first name, that might be your only way out of the middle name Lynn), not Evelyn, Marilyn, Badgerlyn, Linster, Liny the Elder.

Lynn.

It's a nice, simple, plain middle name. And it's after her Granny.

That's nice.

CheerfulYank · 31/07/2012 19:31

I don't think it has to be Lynn exactly. My mother in law is Suzanne and I would use something like Susannah instead. Or Josephine for my mom, who is Jody.

StewieGriffinsMom · 31/07/2012 19:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lunar1 · 31/07/2012 19:43

I think this is one of those times where you have to pick your battles. I like the name, it will go well with most choices of first name.

You said you would use her name and it is just not worth the fall out if you go back on it.

lopsided · 31/07/2012 19:44

I'm with MrsDV, you told her you are using it, it is just mean to take that away from her.

If you have a small surname especially it will sound really cute. Isabelle Lynn Jones or similar sounds great.

MacMac123 · 31/07/2012 19:46

Lynn is a nice middle name, especially if you add an 'e' at the end of it. Think you'll have to use it now you told her you were going to!

besmirchedandbewildered · 31/07/2012 19:48

Grin Liny the Elder!

(Sorry that's not very helpful)