Name bullying

[Janoschi]

Just thought I'd ask this question, seeing as the subject of potential bullying crops up in nearly every post.

Do you think it's actually the case that a child would be bullied for their name these days, considering the wide range of names now on the public radar thanks to TV, Hollywood etc and the greater cultural diversity around us?

Are the worries based on how things were at school for you? Which is 20, 30 years out of date.

Or are kids still being bullied over their names?

Just interested!

I don't think kids bully over names any more. They are more likely to bully over academic prowess or lack thereof, and/or the wrong trainers in my experience (primary teacher, and DS is in Y2).

DS has been teased for a) being too clever and b) not being one of the "tough" boys and c) talking about Lego and Doctor Who too much (!)

We live in London where children from many cultures have some wild, weird and wonderful sounding names. Name-bullying just doesn't happen. In other areas it might be different though.

That's what I was suspecting but didn't actually have much knowledge. I do run art workshops in Y1 and Y2 primary schools sometimes and have come across classes full of Owens, Connors and Olivias but usually with a weird name thrown in for good measure and they don't seem to be treated any different. The ones who got comments were the ones who smelled or pinched or trashed other kids work - social stuff basically.

I have a weird name and ws never bullied for it either. But there seems to be this fear of giving babies names that will invite bullying and some posters seem upset that they can't use a favourite name because of this... just wondering if this is actually not something to stress over too much.

I don't think it's the children who pick up on a weird or different name, but their parents.
IME, children take names on face value, it's just another childs name (iyswim)
However, I have heard really nasty comments from parents (whose dc usually have very run of the mill names) in front of the children, about their friends names

God, that's a bit pathetic!

indeed!

I don't think it's as much of a problem now at all, no.

Not overtly bullied, but I think they may be judged on the basis of them. Not sure that children would notice, but adults do.

I've not experienced it in the years I've had children. But we live in Central London and there's a vast array of names, many not from Britain.

I have a very unusual name - was bullied a little on the basis of it being perceived to be "posh" (in Essex). This, I'm sure would have been a non-issue where I live now

However, as I've said in a recent thread, people do have preconceived idea about you on the basis of your name. I also find it quite tiresome to have to spell my name and often explain it (even though it's nice for people to show an interest). I have had many people assume it's a "foreign" name, and it has struck me that I may have missed out on jobs, or been invited for interview, on the basis of that, given that research has suggested that even large companies show bias against people with African or Asian-sounding names when looking at CVs

I'd just urge people to think about a name in the long-term - cute names are great for babies, and also to think about how your flight of fancy will impact on your child

No! I work as a therapist in schools and children with the most 'normal' names get bullied. Children with more unusual names tend to have something interesting about there character. This can often attract positive attention from peers. The bullying tends to be more about academic achievement and social class. Sometimes it's hard to know why a child has been victimised. I do think adults bully about names though "oh that poor child" !

IME, primary school age children totally take unusual names in their stride. Parents' ideas of a rhyme that children might make up are very out-of-date

I should add my daughter has a 'different' name and I expect the next will too. Not worried about bullying for it. I am more worried about Facebook and forum bullying (forgot to add that earlier)!!!

"Children with more unusual names tend to have something interesting about there character. "

I very much doubt it, but I suspect their parents like to think so

I don't ever remember anyone be bullied because of their name, my sister has a Mel name so very much open to Smelly Melly but I dont ever remember her being teased about it

I've taught in inner London for ten years and have never come across a child being bullied for their name.

Not even little Zulfucker (I kid you not).

Not enough challenge, there, tether ....

I once knew a Rubab

and an R'Marni

Zulfucker is just brilliant. Though Fucker is a common enough surname in Germany. I treasure the memory of rounding a corner in Berlin one dark evening and seeing a big shiny silver executive coach parked outside a posh hotel. It had the word FUCKER written in 3ft high reflective letters down both sides. Herr Fucker maybe wonders why his coaches are popular for stag nights!

As to Asian/African names getting short shrift in interviews, wouldn't this be more to do with surnames though? Michelle Mombayou might have more trouble than Aliyah Jones, for example? Though it's damn depressing if this is actually the case.

yes. I'll try and find the link

I think that if you named your child something stupid like Dick Head for example, they would get bullied or at least teased mercilessly. Unusual name...? Probably not unless it was really daft.

here

and in Canada!

Good point about forenames vs surnames. My maiden name looked Asian too (although it's quite an old English name)

It's certainly less prevalent. I've noticed a bit of teasing (not bullying) over unisex names where boys have been told they have a girl's name, especially when a boy and girl with the same name have been in the same class. The only other example I can think of is where parents gave their dd a name that can be used in a pejorative way (G-y-p-s-e-y) and she's grown into a hard little girl, out of necessity sadly, far too early ime.

I don't think 'bullying' happens over a name (that's much more complex) but I don't understand why you would want to give a boy what is commonly perceived to be a girl's name, for example, or initials that form a word you wouldn't want to be called, etc. It's just putting a open invitation for teasing on a plate.

Yes I agree about giving kids awful R'Marni or Dick Head style names. That is clearly cruel. Not so much in primary school maybe but later on in life for sure.

But UNUSUAL names ie Rixt (Dutch girls name) apparently aren't such bully-magnets as some posters assume, I guess.

There's a massive difference between cruel and unusual.

I think there's always the potential for some kids minded to pick on names to do so notwithstanding that the name might be the most innocuous name going. A friend of mine has a son named Peter. Nowt wrong with that you might think. The kids at primary school call him Pizza!

I think that goes to show it's impossible to predict a bunch of 5 year olds. The parents might've worried about Peter being slang for penis, but probably never in a million years thought up the fast food connection!

Wonder if there's a kid out there actually called Pizza...?

I just think, as long as you are naming a person, who will grow up, and not trying to make a statement about yourself, then you'll be fine.

One of the worst names I can think of, that I have heard was Maverick. On the face of it, fairly "cool", but really saying a lot about the parents' values.

What if Maverick decided to become an accountant?