Classic vs modern? Me vs DH?

[leesonmeeson]

I'm 7 months pregnant and DH and I are trying to decide on names! Yeah, not going very well. We don't know the sex of the baby so we're trying to pick names for both sexes so we're prepared.

The problem is that he likes classic names and I don't. For a boy, I love the name Xavier. It's always been "my name". Anytime I've thought about my future DS he's been called Xavier. DH likes George. I do not. (No offence to any Georges out there! Haha!) For a girl I'm more open, I like Mila but I'm open to suggestions. DH likes Heather. His mother is called Heather.

Luckily I don't have a fued with my MIL like most MNers seem to but we don't really know each other. We live in different countries now and I've only ever met her twice. Both times she was nice enough to me, polite, but we didn't spend any time together or bond so I would feel weird calling my child after her, iyswim? Plus it reminds me of Heather from EastEnders.

I've suggested that I pick the first name and he picks the middle name but no, he's admant that he wants either George or Heather. What to do? Please help!

Don't pick Heather as a first name. It's an airhead name from the 80s, not a classic -- well maybe a classic airhead name. As a second name it would be ok, and you would also avoid the confusion of having two people with the same name.

He really can't have his way on both names. He just can't sit there and be adamant and basically not give you a look in in the naming of the baby you are carrying and going to give birth to.

Mila is lovely imo.

How about writing a list of 10 names each besides Heather and George and seeing if you can bring yourselves to like any of them.

Erica means heather btw.

Our compromise was boy DH named, girl I named but we both wielded the power of the veto!!

How about Georgina or Georgia for a girl?

If your DH likes classic names and you like other names then can you find a halfway point? Something classic but unusual/underused at the moment?

Xavier George.

Mila Heather.

Much prefer your names!

That said, I like George enough for a first name, but not Heather.

How is it a "classic" name?

Hannah, Harriet, Cecily, Laura, Louise...anything but Heather!

Agree that Heather is not a classic name, it is very dated to the 80s. It may come back some day, but if you really don't like it then I would stand firm on this one. George is a different matter, that is an ok name. Him being insistent on calling a girl after his mother is a bit unreasonable. What if you said well I want to call her after my mum?
It is your baby too and he is not reasonable to only have two names that he will consider. You need to get a wider list, both pick some you quite like and cross off the ones you really really hate and see if you can find any middle ground. Try printing off the top 100 lists for the last few years for some inspiration, and both be prepared to be a bit open minded.

Anyway you are the one who will be pushing the baby out. That doesn't give you the right to pick a name you know he hates but he can't think that he has full rights to make the name choices.

I like Heather. Although possibly I'm the only one. Just to play devil's advocate - maybe because you rarely see your MIL and she lives in a different country it is particularly nice to name her Granddaughter for her. Having said that I would not agree to call a DC a first name I didn't like, although would be more flexible about middle names. DH kindly agreed to Johanna for a middle name, but I put my foot down at Barry - even for a middle name. Your DH is not being reasonable to be so inflexible about all names except George and Heather. Buy a naming book and each make a list then rate the others list - hopefully there'll be some crossover!

I really like Heather actually. It's a nice 'nature' name without being too twee and flowery - similar to Hazel, Willow and Rowan which I also love. I don't see it as an 'airhead' name personally. Mila is lovely too though.

I think your DH is being a bit inflexible on insisting on only those two names - fair enough if he doesn't like Mila/Xavier but surely he can compromise a bit, there can't possibly be the only two names that he likes!

I like Heather a lot, too. But not relevant since OP not comfy with it. I'm sure you'll find a compromise, Mila could be short for Emily or Amelia, for instance.

Your's are much nicer. Use DH's as middle names.

Which pronunciation of Xavier would you use? I know 1 Zah-vi-ay, 1 Zay-vee-er & 1 (American) Ecks-ay-vee-er! Personally like the first (French) way best, shortens nicely to Xavi (Zah-vi).

agree with kat2405. Get some top 100-300 lists and/or baby name books and both of you independently come up with your own shortlists of say 20 or even 30 names you both like. See if there are any the same and go from there. Has your DH even looked at other sources for names? Seems like he hasn't gone very far (i.e. his Mum!) for inspiration. He also has to be open minded about things and whilst he is doing it independently he should try saying the names aloud etc not just dismiss them upon sight on paper.

I quite like George, in fact prefer it to Xavier but Heather does nothing for me, mind you neither does Mila either. There are 1000s of names out there you'll find something.

It's a shame your other half doesn't seem to be very imaginative with his name choices - it's nice for your little one to be their own person and not have the exact same name as their grandma.

Saying that, how about Heath for a boy or something similar that uses her initial, that sounds like a bit of a compromise? Good luck!

I was also going to suggest Heath for a boy - sounds modern to me, and if it's a girl next time, you can hardly call her Heather!

I also like Georgia for a girl. Not that it matters what I like!

Love George and Xavier, how about Alexander nn Xander?

Not a fan of Heather, I'd use it a a mn if your DH is that insistent! ..and what about your darling mum's name?!!!

Love Mila Time to put your foot down me thinks

Oooh yes, as suggested in a couple of places above, what about Heath for a boy, and Georgia/Georgina for a girl?

If you like those names, then you are sticking to his choices, but making them a bit more modern which is more your preference?!

I guess it is a bit of a long shot - what do you reckon OP?

Erica means Heather [mind I dont much like either ]