Finding out what someone has called their dc

[MsChanandlerBong]

I'm not a stalker, honest!!

I have a brother that I am no longer in contact with (in fact, none of the family are - very long turbulant story). Anyway, I have found out accidentally that he had a baby last year and I have had a sudden worry that I might call my imminent dd the same name as his child.

As I know both parents names, and the area that the baby will have been born in, is there anyway I can find out what they have named their child? Or are these things kept secret because of data protection?

A weird one I know. Just call it pregnancy hormones but I have suddenly got a bit paranoid about it.

TIA

ancestry.com (or co.uk) you can find some stuff but you have to pay to see certificates etc. and newer stuff. If you know both parents names you MAY (i am not sure but worth a try probs) be able to find something and then search the surname under births. Another way, but def abit stalkery, is look on friends reunited etc. for both parents and if their 'wall' is open they may have put pics up etc and name the baby on it. Other possibilities are local registery offices and things like that but I don't know so much about that.

Ask yourself if it really matters. It's extremely unlikely statistically that you'll pick the same name and, since you have no relationship with each other, there isn't much reason why both having the same name would be a bother.

The only uncreepy/stalker way is to get into contact with him - see if he is on any social networking sites and he friends you so you at least temporarily reconnect. As someone whose family is estranged in a similar matter to yours, having an estranged family member just find out personal details of my life always comes across as creepy/stalkerish unless we've tried to reconnect or I've had it passed on through a mutual friend. If I want someone to know, I'd tell them.

I think your best bet is to go to your regional (or theirs if they live in a different region) records office. Then you can look up their names and see when they registered the name and what they named the baby. This will probably be easier for you as you probably know your brothers details and can search that way. Also the people in the records office will help you find the name if you dont know what your doing, expecially if you say you are doing it for family history reasons. Also if you do it online it will probably cost you money, but there are lots of places on line that will do the search for you.

I know the feeling I have two older half brothers that do not talk to the family now and would love to know if they have had children. I may be doing the same thing pretty soon. Good luck.

does it matter?

Well I have had the "does it matter" debate with myself throughout this pregnancy (since I found out he has had a baby). Probably not. But I (my family) are hoping for a reconciliation at some point in the future. And I would ideally like it if our children didn't have the same name. That said, obviously it would be a pretty incredible coincidence if they were the same (I don't even know the gender of his child). And at this stage there is no real option of contact either directly or via social media so I guess I need to put it out of my mind.

I had a similar wobble just before my wedding last year... but I'm not sure I can face going to the records office to try and explain why I want my brother's child's details. The whole thing feels a bit grubby really

Thanks anyway for your suggestions. Much appreciated.

If it would bother you a lot if they shared a name, then I suggest you pick a name outside the top 100 - very unlikely that you'll pick the same name as him. And there are actually lots of lovely classic underused names there.

If you hope for a reconcilliation at some point in the future isn't it a perfect time to contact him and try to make that happen? With two new members of the family it might help to break the ice. I do appreciate of course that I have no idea of the backstory and am not asking for it, nor am I addressing your question but it maybe worth a thought.

otherside the name we have picked is one of the less popular ones (just inside the top 200 I think), so we would be pretty unlucky to have a name clash I guess.

casmama It is a good point, but unfortunately the timing isn't right for various reasons.

Think I'll just need to suck it up and stop thinking about it. I was hoping there would be a quick online solution that someone might be able to recommend, but I knew it was a longshot.

It does seem unlikely there would be a clash but maybe just choose a lovely middle name just in case . I hope it works out for you all at some point. Enjoy your baby.

Thank you!

Hi hun, I would look up instead the statistics on choosing the same name. I think you will find it is such a remote possibility that it will put your mind at rest x

I'm guessing I'm probably more likely to win the lottery?
Well fingers crossed for that one!

have u tried looking at birth announcements? most ones in newspapers tend to go online. try looking at the iannounce website (type into google). i know not everyone puts announcements in the paper but u never know!
btw my grandma had been estranged from her sister and when they met up it turned out they had each named two of their children wendy and peter. very unusual situation but i would definitely want to find out if i were you (also wouldn't be able to help myself out of natural curiosity)

Steer clear of family names.

My cousin had a baby last year (we speak) and picked two family names. If we weren't in contact I might conceivably have picked the same two names...

I'm pretty childish so I now wind her up by using her least favourite NN for her child ;-) which just happens to be my favourite.

She hates it. I regard it as revenge for pinching two family names....