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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Same name as friends DC?

18 replies

Sbob · 04/08/2011 11:20

Hi, we found out were having a boy. Were delighted but cant think of any boys names. I live in Ireland, my friend in England, would it be terrible if we call our DS the same name as her DS?
Would you be annoyed? My DH is already calling my bump the name. Its not an over popular name but not unusual either.
Any suggestions?

OP posts:

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allthefires · 04/08/2011 11:29

Two names I like are friends Dcs names. Well one if further behind me in pregnancy and keeps asking me if I have thought of anymore and is becoming obsessive about it.

Has put me off name actually but not enough to veto it yet.

Other friend- my best friend- said she would be honoured. Her son is older but as she said it wouldn't matter anyway.

They are both quite traditional classic names though

rachel234 · 04/08/2011 11:42

I would choose another name on the basis that names are there to identify a person. If a person I know quite well already has a certain name, then I associate the name with that person. To me that is the whole point of naming i.e. identifying someone.

There were over 5000 boys' names used lasts year alone, so there is bound to be a name that you love that isn't already used by a close friend.

mathanxiety · 04/08/2011 15:44

If I were your friend I would wonder how you managed to like only the name she has already chosen for her DS, out of all the thousands of names out there

SenoritaViva · 04/08/2011 15:54

I'd call her up and explain your predicament and sound her out.

I'd be fine with it to be honest, we don't own the name of our DD. I was really surprised when some friends got really angry with us when DD was born though because we used 'their name', they possibly told us at one point but I don't remember. Actually they weren't trying for a child and nor have the started 4 years on but they were still angry. Don't underestimate how weird people can be about names. I find it odd as my DD won't be the first nor the last with her name.

InstantAtom · 04/08/2011 16:25

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

evamummy · 05/08/2011 07:45

I'd choose another name so your ds can have his own name.

minipie · 05/08/2011 13:22

The most important thing is that you choose the name you like best.

Yes your friend might be a bit but that's not as important IMO.

I don't agree with the posters saying "there must be another name you like". We all have names we prefer to others and there is usually one at the top of the list. Why should you have to give your DS the "second best" name?

However, if there are two names you like equally, I'd go for the other one!

mopsyflopsy · 05/08/2011 15:41

It depends on how much you love the name. But personally I would lose interest (and love less) a name that is already used by a close friend, because I'd associate the name with that person.

Original poster

Sbob · 05/08/2011 17:30

Thanks for the replies ladies - just to clarify, were not close friends, were ex work friends from 9 years ago who keep in contact (email, text) never on phone.
Do u think that makes a difference? My own friends at home wouldnt know her DS's name so its not like everyone would know its the same name, well except myself and her.
My DH is set on the name and thinks im exagerating by thinking of changing it.
I like 2 other names, one is our neighbours dogs name, Its Oliver but her dog is Ollie and she pointed it out.
The other one is, but DH said his sister was going to call her DD it if she had of been a boy!!
Sorry its a long winded reply :)

OP posts:

mathanxiety · 05/08/2011 18:39

What matters is that she knows the name, Sbob; your other friends and family really don't matter at all here. I think your neighbour's reaction when you told her about liking Oliver (and it was her dog and not even the same name but a NN) hints at how your friend will react if you use the name she has already chosen for her child.

You really need to sit down with your DH and come up with something original. There are thousands of names. When you make your list, start with a list of names you cannot use, and that should include the names of friends' children, the children of relatives, pets of friends and relatives, and neighbours' pets. I don't think your DS would like to think he had been named after a dog.

reddaisy · 05/08/2011 20:49

We are in a similar situation, one of my closest friends from uni has named her DS the name we have picked out for our DS who is due in 7 weeks. It is the only name DP and I agree on for a boy and we have liked it for years. It is also in the top ten of names so it is hardly original.

Anyway, I see my uni friend at the most twice a year and often that is without the children anyway because of the geography involved. If I saw her more then I wouldn't do it but we are going to go with the same name, but obviously part of me wishes that we liked something else just as much but it would feel like settling for second best if we chose something else.

DP has only ever met her once so he thinks it is ridiculous to even contemplate not naming our child a name we have always wanted for a boy because "no-one owns a name."

So I say go for it, but only because it will make me feel better

reddaisy · 05/08/2011 20:53

And I have to disagree with not naming a child a name because a dog is named it. You could go on forever with reasons not to use a name.

Unless the dog is called Fido then it is fair game and let's face it, the animal won't be around forever and you aren't actually naming your son after the dog the dog just happens to have a human name for goodness sake that is the most popular name in the country!

The other bit of advice I would give is not to use up your two favourite names on your first child for first name/middle name because so many of my friends wish they had not used the middle name so they could use it for their second DS etc, if that makes sense!!

Eg, one friend named their son Edward George and now really wants to name their second DS George but feels that they can't. Only thing I can suggest is that they name him George Edward but I realise it might be a bit weird!!

Original poster

Sbob · 05/08/2011 21:09

I think were going to go for it - its not our first child and the first time I heard the name was when our DD was born 5 years ago, Ive loved it since then.
I also know two ex school friends that have called their daughter the same as my DD, I never raised an eyebrow to it but I would be fairly easy going in things like that. As its been mentioned before, nobody owns a name.
Another thing is, lots of the boys names we have mentioned are horrid with our surname!!
I'll mention it to my friend in question, I dont think she will be too fussed. Our other DC's are all called something different :o

OP posts:

poppydaisy · 05/08/2011 21:24

Personally I wouldn't use a name that is already used by friends or family because I too feel that we name things/people to identify them. There are so many names to choose from that I 'd try to find another name. But it seems you've already made up your mind to use the name anyway.

MummyCubed · 05/08/2011 22:56

My cousin ended up not naming her child the name that she wanted because her friend already had a son with that name. Now she majorly regrets it. If I were you I would just go with the name you like, as others have said no one owns a name and I would be flattered if a friend of mine wanted to use one of my DC's names :-)

mathanxiety · 05/08/2011 23:23

No, no-one owns a name, but I think it is really strange that you only seem to like names that other people or animals that are quite close to you already have.

monoid · 06/08/2011 00:04

This happened to me... backwards! My dd is 8 years old. She has a first name, which we shorten and her middle name is my Mum's name (she died when I was young - it's a foreign name and quite obscure, otherwise I would've given it as dd's first name) Anyway, my Mum's cousin's son had a daughter earlier this year and has given her the same first and middle names. Now, I don't really see him that much. We communicate maybe once a year, mostly see each other at weddings/funerals. I wasn't at all surprised about the middle name as he was very close to my Mum when he was growing up, but I assumed he would know my dd's first name despite the fact that I usually use the shortened version. So I was a bit surprised to start with (as was dd!) but (at the moment) it doesn't matter at all. I'm not bothered anymore and dd has watched far too much Doctor Who and refers to the baby as a past version of herself!

I think go for the name you like. Maybe warn your friend first so she can get used to it?

SaffronCake · 06/08/2011 08:26

Worst case scenario is she'll flounce off in a huff and stop speaking to you. Without wanting to sound callous about this she's not the centre of your world and I think you'd get over it. You're going to speak your DS's name every day until you die, that's quite a bit more important I think.
The dog thing will cause genuine confusion though every time both famillies are using thier gardens (every sunny day then). If you haven't got gardens then leave Oliver on the list too.

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